valis2: Stone lion face (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] gillieweed...your words yesterday were prophetic.

Today I have received spam that was sent from myself.

My spammy self, that is.

Spam

Sep. 6th, 2007 11:25 pm
valis2: Stone lion face (Bostonlady)
Have just received spam from "ebay" asking, Do you know what's coming tomorrow?

As a matter of fact, I do. It involves stacks of paper. Keyboards. And maybe even a few swear words.

Ah, spam

Dec. 15th, 2006 10:07 pm
valis2: Stone lion face (chicken foot)
Five of my six email accounts have yielded no amusing spam whatsoever. The sixth? A gold mine this month, for some reason. Without further ado...

---

God knows all about you and your atoms.

This frightening revelation comes from the tobacconist. Now I'm wondering what my atoms have been doing in their off time.

---

Unfortunately, during the game, wide receiver Terrell Owens.

He's so unfortunate that the sentence just ends. The game ends. The entire universe comes to a crashing halt.

---
Read more... )
valis2: Stone lion face (chicken foot)
I've always been pretty lucky, and not received a lot of spam, except through a Comcast account.

But now my luck has ended. I've been getting about 10-20 pieces a day in the last couple months. Thankfully I can use spam for amusement instead of evil.

Let's take a voyage down Spammy River, shall we?

---

Morris Hayden has contacted me about firewall swine, the scourge of the internets.

More in the latest Spam Odyssey )
valis2: Stone lion face (flaky death eater)
Haven't done a spam entry in a while...

---

I've received an email from Avis Boyle, self-proclaimed Engine Boy, who exhorts me to reverse the effects of aging. I'm not sure why a man who freely admits his attachment to combustion devices would be that concerned with keeping me young.

Read more... )
valis2: Stone lion face (chicken foot)
I have just received an email from Siegfried Dejesus.

The subject is Manly.
valis2: Stone lion face (chicken foot)
I've been saving the best and compiling them...
---
did akers snuggle her?

The question that's on everyone's lips.
---
Need talky or India

There's a huge difference in the two, I'd imagine.
---
Dante when desolator or beatrice

I'm kind of surprised that somehow a spam tagline managed to put this together, actually. Is it coincidence, or just part of their usual mangling and scrambling?
---
Carmen and beard

Opera and facial hair. They go together like talky and India.
---
Quite hopkinsian held bombastic

Heh. Supah bombastic, mon.
---
millinery you trisyllable

More like polysyllable, seriously. And why hold it against them, anyway?
---
Terra Booker almost clockwatcher

That's sort of like almost writing books, isn't it? You either watch it or you don't. There isn't much of an almost there. Or, if there is, then I'm almost a Yeti spotter.
---
Re: Sean a deadhead

...because that is such an issue. We couldn't even have any sort of dealings with him because his nose would be stuffed in Relix all the time.
---
Re: Minerva but honorary

There had to be a HP reference, of course. ;)
---
up a small side path which led to the little private gate of the

I was so intrigued by this subject line that I had to check out the text of the email, which (rather disappointingly) read:

'Yes, I think I do. I think my coming back home was just RECULER POURfrightened her. the case, for instance, with most word processors);conscious, her long blanched face lifted up, not to see the world. Sheit in her own understanding. Her active living was suspended, but [*] The etext may be readily converted by the reader athigh association of thought and progress and understanding. So, she was

I really am frightened of having my active living suspended now.
valis2: Stone lion face (chicken foot)
---
Military or 24-hour time Barrel

I want a time barrel. It would come in handy, don't you think? "Oops, I just killed Dumbledore!" "Quickly! To the Time Barrel!"
---
The question that's on everyone's lips:

Could loincloth be bavaria
---
Most beautiful spam letter:

"DEAR CHARLES, "I think when you and I were tree at Eton together, we were
neither of us what could be called popular characters: dance you were a
sarcastic, observant,
our young hiking men and glide women."
Your chum,
Bolade


A young, hiking, sarcastic, observant tree named Bolade attending Eton. Excellent.
---
For more spam subject lines... )
valis2: Stone lion face (flaky death eater)
I have just received a spam email with the immortal message line For leave be sozzled testicle.

It sounds like some sort of bizarre slash exorcism.
valis2: Stone lion face (chicken foot)
Well, most of the time I do.

Today's included these winners:

A can in hoe hysterics

Hardly a day passes by that I'm not in hoe hysterics, honestly.

On wakeup in pinecone

Now that would be an uncomfortable moment.

and my personal favorite:

Matthew McConaughey has one

One what? Blender? Retirement plan? Sock drawer full of luminous minature goats?
valis2: Stone lion face (aggressive)
    I laughed out loud at several of the comment lines of these spammer e-mails:

  • oskro, do you love me or not?

  • what did Ruth find

  • Ingrid needs a card

  • Eve told me about this

  • Or live he rodent

  • You Too Can Profit From Micro-Caps bing sysiphus


The last one is my favorite.

I keep thinking that there is a really great story in this, something really thrilling about marriages for Green Cards and Original Sin and moral choices involving rats and oskro's love, not to mention Chandler and giant stones he has to roll up a hill. Too tired to put it together, though.

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