I feel pretty sure Severus would far rather have been dead than to live and relive that nightmare - and to be shoved back into it again and again, ow. How Hermione that she never once sought his opinion, even if her views changed over what must have been a very long life. Ow, ow, ow. You do good nightmares, so understated, so riveting. And then to abadon him with nothing but a wand that there's no guarantee would work for him, no orientation, no backup, hell, no psychiatric evaluation... But it's a nightmare, isn't it. Maybe the end is just part of it.