valis2: Stone lion face (Default)
valis2 ([personal profile] valis2) wrote2008-09-06 05:02 pm
Entry tags:

I dreamed a fic

So I wrote it.

Characters: Severus Snape, Hermione Granger. Note the comma separating them.
Rating: G.
Length: Under 2K.
Summary: Severus Snape expects death after the snakebite, but discovers that Fate, and someone else, has other plans for him.
AN: Post-DH. Er...unbeta'ed. Poured out in about an hour, I think.
Warning: Not for the claustrophobic. Also, this might possibly constitute crack!fic on some level. Though it's valisfic, so it's melodramatic crack!fic. lol. I am totally aware that this does not entirely make sense--it was a dream, remember?

The Pond


There was nothing left to do. Time had frozen for Severus, the pouring of memories distilled into Potter's hand, his last act. The Granger girl, her eyes wide and frightened. His gaze sought the green eyes that he had done his best to protect, and then time swirled away.

Surely this cannot be death, this murky consciousness. He struggled to understand why death involved such a pain in his neck.

"Don't move, professor."

The voice shocked him. A girl's voice, familiar, and he tried to understand what was happening, but nothing seemed to fit together at all.

"This will hurt, I'm afraid." The voice was all steel now, determined, and he opened his mouth to say something, but then it did hurt. A lot. He was shrinking and flattening and becoming thin as paper, and the walls receded until his only view was that of a face illuminated by wandlight. More words spilled from her mouth, nothing he recognized, but then he could feel the flat metal behind his back, and the last thing he saw was a metal lid blocking out everything beyond it.

He could not move. Pinned, confined thusly, his mind could not even begin to process this turn of events. A feeling that might have been Apparition washed over him momentarily, adding another unwelcome layer of suffocation, and then there was a strange sound. Water, splashing, perhaps?

The tin began to fill with water.

Horrified, he tried to move, to escape, anything, but he was held completely powerless, sandwiched firmly within.

His mind rebelled. He could do nothing except rage against everything, everyone, the girl who had imprisoned him, the Dark Lord, Nagini, the girl, Potter, the girl, the girl. Some small part of him feared that he would go insane. He could feel the tin floating, end over end.

Locked in a litany of rage. It seemed an eternity. It could only be half a minute. He had no idea, in this confined consciousness. The only thing he knew was that he vastly preferred three dimensions to two.

Another eternity or two passed before he realized that he still breathed. Despite the water. The girl wanted to keep him alive. She wanted him to endure this. He didn't know if he could. How much she must hate him.

Dark thoughts consumed him. The devils of his past paraded in the utter mindless dark of the tin. He felt it in his paper-thin heart, all fury, all pain, all fright.

He nearly forgot his name.

Brilliant, brilliant expanding light. Blind until he heard a whispered spell. Expanding, rushing, water pouring from his body, all too much to believe.

"I had to see." The girl's voice.

The voice he'd heard in his head forever. He squinted. "Granger?" he rasped.

"I wasn't certain if it would work," she said. But she was no girl now. She was a woman, her face thinned, her eyes full of something sharp. "I had to know--I lay awake at nights, wondering if you--if you were still--"

"What have you done?" he said in horror.

A motion of her wand, and he saw it then, the battered, thin tin, and the lid, rising to cover him again. "No!" he screamed. It was to no avail. His arms and legs would not respond. He had no time to react as the world grew larger around him, as the metal rushed toward him, as the light was eclipsed, as he sank anew into water.

A wave of despair. The knives of his mind still functioned, and he scraped at himself, tried to suffocate, tried to destroy his own sanity.

It didn't work.

The next wave of despair was even worse.

After an eternity he came to himself. He floated in darkness, the inky shapes of regret indistinguishable from the sable shadows of hatred. He only remembered her face, the look of concentration fierce as she pinned him back in his tin prison. He could not weep, fixed as he was. He could not twitch. Only the feel of his breathing, imagined as it was, reminded him of sanity. Only the counting of his breaths could convey time to him, and it was not to be trusted. The numbers wriggled and swarmed.

Granger. The thought rose to the surface of his mind. Why had she done this? What was her goal? The very thought of her name drove him into another rage which swirled about him and shivered on his paper-thin body.

Again he fixed on her name. Granger. It made no sense. Heal him and imprison him. What crime could he have committed against her? How could she have done this?

A tingle of magic. The tin moved. His mind roared with tension. This could be his chance. Overpower her, crush her, tear her to pieces with his bare hands.

Granger stood, studying him. A twirl of her wand, and he twirled before her, mute with rage. She examined him, close enough that he could put her eye out with his thumb, but his arm wouldn't respond. His hand twitched, and the resulting pain nearly undid him.

"You are still in good working order," she said crisply, and for one surreal moment she sounded like Minerva. She raised her wand.

"Please!" He had no time to say another word before he was reduced and imprisoned once again, dropped neatly into water.

This wave of despair was different. Less rage. More pain. He didn't bother to breathe.

Eventually his thoughts converged. Granger. Her hair was graying. Just a few, but there were lines around her eyes that hadn't been there before. Her robes had been professionally elaborate.

How much time had passed?

Numbers spiraled around him, falling and cycling in turns, trailing black in their wake. After an eternity, he came to himself again and thought, thirty years. Thirty years I have been in this tin.

How many breaths? How many endless moments? Wasn't that an oxymoron?

Another wave of despair. Ebony spots swarmed his vision.

A gradual stilling. No breathing. No numbers to count. His mind pulled together. Focused.

The water was warm.

He could feel it, then. A turtle. Another fish, its maw extended, gobbling up a frog. A frog, being gobbled.

He could stretch only to the edge of the pond before it greyed out and became a hash of nonsense. But the pond, now, that he could feel. Morning and night, dragonflies tickling the water lilies. A song from a monotonous cicada. Other things, prickling, feasting, jumping.

This eternity stretched on and on. Winter froze, winter hurt, ice frosting over his tin. He slowed the cycles of his mind.

Spring brought him life, energetic water gliders, a tadpole who was quite determined to become a frog. A bird splashed on the water occasionally. The dead fish rotted away. The snails hummed methodically as they crossed from one side to the other.

Another winter. Another spring. Counting was futile. There were still moments of panic. She had abandoned him. He would be trapped there forever.

Forever ceased to be a meaningful word. Eternity. Endless. He said them all in a useless litany, reciting within his mind. His heart did not beat.

The motion of the pond became his motion. The life within the pond became his life. Born, dying, born, dying, every new moment a rush toward the end. A fish or two, a grey dove, a pale flower. He could not see it, but he could feel its paleness like a spiderweb on his cheek. There was nothing to do except be still. There was everything to feel. The vibrations of the rain, filling and renewing. The glow of a moon.

This eternity passed and became part of the next eternity. Winter and summer, melding within each other, the music of the rushes.

The explosion of light was crippling.

Blind and soaked through, his first breath was a horrible gasp, painful and swollen. His mind struck out against this force. The pond teemed behind him and diminished, growing smaller and pulling away. He could not open his eyes. His heart pummeled his ribs. The dirt under his hand stabbed his palm.

"Severus." Whose voice? Granger, of course, it had to be, because everything revolved around her, everything flowed from her, she flowered and dissipated before him, revealing herself as a very old woman.

"You..."

"You're free," she said, and then coughed. She leaned on a cane.

His mind had to search for a very long time before he could locate the word.

"Free," she repeated.

His mouth tasted the air, cloying and fetid. His head spun.

"You can start again." Her eyes drew him in.

He wanted to vomit. His lungs brought in another gasp of air and he coughed and coughed. There was blood on his lip, not fishblood nor frogblood but warm blood.

"You haven't aged at all," she said in satisfaction. "The spell held."

He squinted at her. She was stooped over, her flesh wasted. Her eyes were dull and the skull showed beneath her skin.

"Severus, you have a chance now. To live your life." She waved her cane at him. "I'm the last one. Ron, Harry...they've gone on." She coughed again. "I'm not long for this world, myself. I can hear them calling me. But you...you need to live in a world where no one remembers you."

He could only stare at her in horror. "This is why--"

"Perhaps not at first," she said, leaning more heavily on her cane. "Perhaps...I only wished to protect you. But that was a dream I haven't had..." She shook her head. "You have the whole world ahead of you." She drew her wand and he flinched and tried to slide away from her. "I give you my wand." She dropped it on the ground in front of her and turned away.

He stared at it. Such a simple thing, lying there in the dirt. He could hurt her--he could kill her--

"I will not hold it against you if you should choose to revenge yourself upon me," she said, turning back to look at him.

His body, rounded, no corners, he could barely understand it at all. But this he could understand. A wand. A way. A new path.

The girl. He watched as she shuffled away slowly.

[identity profile] bethbethbeth.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
So, so cool. Clever and original and...I'm not sure whether or not it's a happy ending, so...well done.

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 09:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm glad you think it's cool--I was thinking that it was waaay too surreal and bizarre. I took the dream (which was pretty scary) and padded it quite a bit, but most of the main concepts are there.

I think of it as "happy," as he gets to start again with a new life--he's been changed by his experience in the pond, and it's given him new insight into the world and being still. But it is a muted kind of happy, forced upon him by someone else. The old Severus would have been pissed off. The new Severus is still trying to figure out how his hand works.

There you go. A barely coherent explanation of a barely coherent story, lol!
marginaliana: Buddy the dog carries Bobo the toy (Default)

[personal profile] marginaliana 2008-09-06 09:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Oooh, interesting. I love that Hermione's motivation is not straightforward.

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I love that Hermione's motivation is not straightforward.

I'm so glad you didn't say, "WTF?! This makes no sense!" Because it didn't make any sense to me in the dream, after all.

When I think about it, I think, she's had time to change, y'know?

[identity profile] joanwilder.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
As I was reading, I was thinking that this is actually what hell will be like; suspended in empty space with no other consciousness but your own, nothing to hold on to, no point of focus, the sense that you are the only one...

It really creeped me out, especially each time she 'checked' on him and them put him back (shudders). I liked your writing style for this too, all the words that evoke sensation; you really had me holding my breath.

Born, dying, born, dying, every new moment a rush toward the end.

Just so beautifully done, and so odd and original and uncomfortable, it'll stick with me for a long time. Damn it. You should dream more valisfic. :)

[identity profile] joanwilder.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 10:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Forgot to ask--do you mind if I rec?

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Er--wow! I am really, really shocked that you want to because I thought it was such a bizarre dream--and when I thought about it before I sat down to write it I really thought that it didn't make any sense, it isn't very canon, etc.

Yes, definitely, and that makes me feel all warm and squeeful! Thank you!

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
As I was reading, I was thinking that this is actually what hell will be like; suspended in empty space with no other consciousness but your own, nothing to hold on to, no point of focus, the sense that you are the only one...

In the dream, I was actually Snape, and I couldn't breathe at first and there was water rushing in and I was as thin as paper (with rusty orange edges)--it was one of the most disturbing and strange dreams I've ever had.

It really creeped me out, especially each time she 'checked' on him and them put him back (shudders).

Isn't that the worst? *shivers* Going through that hell and then emerging and then...back in. Brrrr!

Just so beautifully done, and so odd and original and uncomfortable, it'll stick with me for a long time.

Wow, thank you so much! I'm glad it interested you so much. Honestly, I was afraid it was so out there that it wouldn't hook anyone in.

*hugs*

[identity profile] joanwilder.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't rec much, but when I make up my mind... You're a VA over on SH; I'd sure love to see this on Ash... No pressure, but I'm always looking for outstanding fics to promote there.

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 10:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Ooh, new lingo I don't know--VA? Vacant Author? Valis Absent? hee!

Do they really welcome stories there that are without a romantic relationship between the two? I was just planning on putting it on Occlumency, as I usually do.

[identity profile] joanwilder.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 10:43 pm (UTC)(link)
You're a validated author, didn't you know? Means when you submit, eFiction should just post you, except for Ashwinder, where there's a glitch and we have to manually validate. But we don't look at your stories for errors, etc. This story is entirely appropriate for Ash, which is for any Snape-Hermione relationship, not necessarily just romantic pairings. If you sumbit it to Ash, shoot me a mail and I'll go in a validate it right away. (addy on my profile)

Edited to add: of course, it's appropriate for Occ too, as it's Snape-centric. But you can do both, if you want.

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 10:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, that's right, I totally forgot. *headdesk* In my defense, I haven't been writing a lot recently.

Sure, I'll submit it to Ash. ;)

Thanks--I know I'm sounding a bit dorktastic tonight, but in my defense, this is sinus headache day ten. :(
torino10154: Cropped Hufflepuff crest (Afterlife)

[personal profile] torino10154 2008-09-06 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Here from [livejournal.com profile] joanwilder's rec. I think this is wonderful-certainly very stream of consciousness and not necessarily fully explained but it does read very much like a dream-and I suspect Severus's experience was very dreamlike (or nightmarish). I have to think in the end, it is happy enough. Not necessarily what either would have wanted in the first place but it can be made to work. Fascinating fic, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, have uploaded to both. Thanks so much for taking so much time to talk to me about this! You're so sweet.

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, hooray! I was wondering what other people would make of it. Thank you so much for commenting--I really appreciate it, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[personal profile] snegurochka_lee 2008-09-06 11:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Gah! Gah! *blinks* *rereads* This is so cool! You know, I was just thinking the other day that there aren't too many unique HP stories out there anymore - through no fault of the writers, I don't think; it's just hard, after this many years, to come up with new ideas. But you've done it! This is wonderfully creative and original! I think I was holding my breath the whole time, waiting to find out what was happening to him. You also have a great way with words here, because I could feel everything he did - and I have a fairly major underwater/claustrophobia fear, so I read with wide eyes and very concerned lungs! :) I wonder if she knew he'd be conscious for the whole thing, or close to? *shivers* What a great take on benevolent!Hermione. Definitely a twisted sort of benevolence, but one I think she would defend, absolutely.

And gaaaah, Snape! I wonder what he'll do now... :)

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
it's just hard, after this many years, to come up with new ideas.

Unless you're my subconscious, apparently, who saw a tin (which is on my shelf, I should take a pic of it, lol) just before I went to bed, and provided a dream of being locked within it. Weird, huh?

This is wonderfully creative and original!

Wow, thank you! I almost didn't write it, because I thought it wouldn't appeal to anyone at all.

I have a fairly major underwater/claustrophobia fear, so I read with wide eyes and very concerned lungs!

eee!! My best friend has the same problem--hence the warning! I'm glad you took the chance.

And gaaaah, Snape! I wonder what he'll do now... :)

I can only hope it involves finding a reincarnation of Lupin and shagging him silly. lol!

THANK YOU SO MUCH for the absolutely wonderful comment! I'm dancing on air. You rock!
ext_58380: (snape lips)

wow....

[identity profile] bk7brokemybrain.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
This was so affecting. I have a lot of dreams, weird ones, so I can completely relate. Some I have turned into fics, some are scenes that enter my fics, I appreciate how horrific, surreal and yet very real you managed to keep this piece. joanwilder was right to warn for clautrophobia. *shudders*
As for the story itself, I am amazed at how much you managed to fit in only so many words. And the ideas you squeezed in between the lines were more vast. Watching Hermione age, imagining Harry and Ron preceding her in death, imagining a new world for a young Snape, on and on. Really, so very enjoyable.

Re: wow....

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I have a lot of dreams, weird ones, so I can completely relate. Some I have turned into fics, some are scenes that enter my fics

I've only had four HP dreams, ever, and I've turned three of them into fics, and the fourth a scene in another fic. Glad to see that I'm not the only one!

I am amazed at how much you managed to fit in only so many words. And the ideas you squeezed in between the lines were more vast.

Wow, thank you oh so much! What a fantastic comment, I cannot thank you enough.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! *squee*
ext_58380: (squee)

Re: wow....

[identity profile] bk7brokemybrain.livejournal.com 2008-09-06 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Squeeee yourself!
Where are the rest of your fics? I'd love to read the dream ones.
I have three Snarrys on www.walkingtheplank.org under Book7BrokeMyBrain. "Potter's Fundamental Predicament" was taken whole cloth from a dream, although I tried to write it as a straight story at first. Then I remembered "Oh yeah, I'm the writer and can do anything I want!" so I made it a dream in the story as well. So much easier than justifying what Snape did there, lol. Then the sequel was chock full of dreams that didn't have to make any sense, 'cause, you know, we're dealing with dreams here. lol Too much fun.

Re: wow....

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-07 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
Retribution (http://valis2.livejournal.com/286001.html), which is a Snupin fic written for a Dark!fic challenge.

The Empty Heart of the Sea (http://valis2.livejournal.com/176785.html), which is a short Tom Riddle fic--I think this is the other one from a dream. I've lost track because it was some time ago.

And you've read the Pond, clearly, which is the third. ;)

There's one dream that will make its way into my ginormous fanfic The Last Sanguimagus (SS/OFC), which you can find at [livejournal.com profile] lastbloodwitch.

My fanfic on LJ (http://valis2.livejournal.com/tag/fanfic)

Thanks so much for the links! I'll check out your fics, though I do not often read Snarry, I'll warn you.
ext_58380: (Snupin why do i hate you again?)

Re: wow....

[identity profile] bk7brokemybrain.livejournal.com 2008-09-07 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
My OTP is Snupin! It's the first two things I wrote about a year ago. They need polishing before I unleash my boys on the world, though.
Thanks for the links!

Re: wow....

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2008-09-07 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
Snupin ROCKS and is probably my fave pairing! I can't wait to see what you've written!
venivincere: (Default)

[personal profile] venivincere 2008-09-07 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
My God, what a horrific thing to do to someone, and Hermione... wow. I'm so curious what exactly it was the spell did to him. And we don't really know if he stayed his hand, in the end, do we? She was still walking away... she wasn't gone, yet.... I can't decide if she was a selfish coward or just filled with a God complex, or if by doing what she did, she saved him from bleeding to death. Whatever she was, I'm still shuddering. Wow.
ext_65977: (memento mori)

[identity profile] venturous1.livejournal.com 2008-09-07 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
wow, that is amazing. I am an epic dreamer, and sometimes the expereince feels so much like you describe Severus' glimpses of consciousness throughout the years within the spell. It's haunting.

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