valis2: Stone lion face (Sanmarcolion3)
valis2 ([personal profile] valis2) wrote2005-05-26 09:39 pm

I have a theory about the stupid names in Star Wars.

When I was eleven I started thinking up this superspy story. I came up with all of these characters, gave them all code names, wrote them down.

When I was thirteen I wrote a bit of it (the first bit is here, if you want your brain to fall out), and it was fun.

The thing is, I've been consumed with this set of characters for years. And because these characters are, at this point, inexorably bound to their names, I had no idea that they were stupid. Honest.

I was telling the superspy plot to [livejournal.com profile] bookwench2096 and she started guffawing over the names. I ended up having to read the entire list of names aloud to her so she could say "yes" or "no" to them. I had almost no idea that they were awful. Honest. You just get used to them and you don't realize how silly they are.

That's why George Lucas had no idea that people would burst into giggles upon hearing the name Count Dooku.

And just so you have an idea of how bad my names were...

Pirate, Ponytail, Valleygirl, Nailpolish, Pencilthin, Criss-cross, Pepsi and Coke (twins), Jetblack, Makeup, Trestle Table, Stampede.

Bookwench was wise to naysay them.

[identity profile] privatemaladict.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
I was particularly amused by "Lord Grievous" in ROTS.

The setting for the comics I wrote as a teenager was a town called "Crapville". The principal of Crapville High School was Richard J. Horniblow. However, he only appeared in one of the very early comics, which I destroyed because even then I thought it was awful, and recycled the name when I created the mayor of Crapville - Mayor Dick Horne.

Subtlety was not one of my strong points.

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, when I heard the name General Grievous for the first time (while we were watching the movie, actually) I laughed so hard that the person behind me actually kicked my chair.

It could have been worse...you could have renamed him Mayor Dick Whole.

[identity profile] privatemaladict.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
Mayor Dick Whole

I'm sure if I'd thought of it, Mayor Dick Whole would've appeared somewhere in the comics.

Actually, I laughed through much of ROTS. It has an annoying tendency to be cheesy at inappropriate moments. And it contradicts the original trilogy, too. George Lucas, you disappoint me.

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
I was so saddened by Attack of the Clones. I ended up reading old Sues in preparation for a LJ entry while it was on in the background. The Sues were more interesting.

[identity profile] privatemaladict.livejournal.com 2005-05-28 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
Actually, I rather enjoyed AOTC. Yes, the acting was awful, and yes, the dialogue was even worse, but it was... fun. Whereas ROTS still had bad acting and dialogue, but was too depressing to be any fun.

And I've heard several people say this and I agree: it was waaaay too gory for the little kids most of the marketing is targetted at. I saw a mum come out of that movie with two kids who couldn't have been more than 4. Totally inappropriate.

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2005-05-28 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
I am pretty angry with George for getting up on his high horse for Phantom Menace and asserting that the movies were not for the original fans, but instead for the ten year olds and twelve years olds of now.

And then RotS, which is pretty damned violent, and is definitely meant for an adult audience in many ways...

[identity profile] cactus-wren.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
Trestle Table

She was a sturdy girl, and she spoke very woodenly. Sometimes she felt as though people just used her, then walked away, leaving their unwanted crumbs in life littered about her. Her friends - Bench and Chair - said she was just being silly, but she felt they just woodn't understand her.

Heh.

[identity profile] rickfan37.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 08:05 am (UTC)(link)
Oh bloody hell, you've started me off again now! I'm going to be laughing about this all day!
:-)

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
lol! Exactly. That was probably the worst.

[identity profile] rickfan37.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 08:05 am (UTC)(link)
I smiled wryly until I got to Trestle Table. Then I fell off my chair. That was ten minutes ago!

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
ha!! I was a strange kid, that's for certain. And still, to me, there is an image of someone and it isn't that weird, because for years I've thought of that name with that person. Funny, huh?

[identity profile] randomspectator.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 09:41 am (UTC)(link)
*Snorfles*

That's utterly priceless, you've just made my day!

*Giggles some more*

And I'm sure your theory is right! The characters in the 'novel' I wrote when I was 10 have utterly ridiculous names. Apparantly. (Nope, I can't see what's wrong with them either!)

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I think that George really needed someone who could stand back and veto things with a clear eye.

[identity profile] bat-git.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 11:35 am (UTC)(link)
Like the planet Cameno

You know he saw a rusted out El Cameno roling down the street one day and it just came to him...

[identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com 2005-05-27 04:21 pm (UTC)(link)
heh!

I always imagine him coming up with the name Darth Maul at age eleven, after looking up the word Maul for the first time. "Hey, that's cool!"