Amusing bad summaries...

[valis2]

Trying to find something on ffnet led to this...

Sometimes at night when she can’t sleep, Ginny stares into the perpetual darkness and remembers the last thing Tom said to her

Unless Ginny lives on the dark side of the moon, eventually it won't be dark anymore.

Oh, and I found this while trying to find something else, it was originally a comment I posted on junediamanti's LJ...I think we were talking about what to give Severus for Christmas and I just thought of some silly book titles.

I'd give him a lovely new library...

"The Complete Guide To Clothing Charms: Billowing, Billowing, and More Billowing"

"How to Win Death Eater Loyalties and Influence a Homicidal Maniac Boss Who's Partially Lizard Without Getting Turned Inside Out"

"The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Spies"

"Pride and Prejudice: A Guide To Purebloods"

"The Manor of Seven Gables: The Malfoys' Rise to Power"

"A Tale of Two Centaurs"

"The Sound and the Fury: A Guide To Creating Thunderstorms"

"100 Spells of Solitude: How to Keep Your Privacy"

"Remembrance of Things Past: Mnemonic Spells and Their Uses"

"Severus Snape and the Philosopher's Stone"

"Heart of Darkness: Voldemort's New Reign of Terror"

"Knockturn Alley, Yours: A Guide to Getting the Best Prices Possible"

"The Importance of Being Earnest: A Guide to Occlumency"

"To Kill a Mockingbird: Uses for Avian Essences in Potions"

"At Play in the Fields of the Dark Lord: A Death Eater's Memoir"

"A Farewell to Arms: How to Deal With Nasty Dismemberment Hexes"

Comments

[issyadore.livejournal.com]

omg those are hilarious. hello memories! favorite:

"The Importance of Being Earnest: A Guide to Occlumency"

[valis2.livejournal.com]

haa! It was a lot of fun at the time.

[larilee.livejournal.com]

I nearly choked on these, way too funny!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Heh...working in a bookstore for so many years really came in handy there.

[sylvadin.livejournal.com]

These are hilarous! (I must be warped - my favorite one is the 'Farewell to Arms' (LOL)

May I donate a few more volumes for the library?...

"The Agony and the Ecstasy - A Guide to Identifying Poisons and Aphrodisiacs"

"How to Be the Leader of the Pack...And Have Your Werewolf Love You For It"

"The Grapes of Wrath - When Magical Gardens Go Bad"

"Vanity Fair: The Dark Secrets of Pureblood Glamour Spell Abuse"

"The Merchant of Venom"

"Much Ado About Nothing - How to Tell If You've Been Obliviated"

"The Wizard of Odds: Your Vacation Guide to Magical Las Vegas"

[annecatherine.livejournal.com]

Much Ado About Nothing - How to Tell If You've Been Obliviated

*applauds* I love this title. Too funny.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

ahahaha!!! I love the Grapes of Wrath one...and Much Ado about Nothing!! Totally funny.

[agatha-s.livejournal.com]

Who made up all those titles? They are hilarious! My favourite is Farewell to Arms, and I like Pride and Prejudice a lot, too.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

That would be me, Time-Waster Extraordinaire. *giggles*

[aerynstales.livejournal.com]

Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Dark Wizard's Edition

Great Expectations: A Memoir by Neville Longbottom

Okay...these are poor but the best I can do at 1:45 am! Though I really love the ones you listed Valis...seriously cracked me up.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Ahahah! The Neville one is awesome!

Hmm...would this be a fun Quirky challenge? What do you think?

[aerynstales.livejournal.com]

Me thinks you may be on to something there! :D

*rubs hands gleefully*

[annecatherine.livejournal.com]

"A Farewell to Arms: How to Deal With Nasty Dismemberment Hexes"

I almost spewed fruit punch on my computer when I read that title. Bwa! That is brilliant.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Glad to help with a little juice expulsion! hahah...

[zoepaleologa.livejournal.com]

Very funny.

In book 3, the kids have "Unfogging the Future" by Cassandra Vablatsky, so:

"Occlumency, and Fogging the future" by Enigmatus Obfuscant.

"Burke's Wizardry - a guide to who is who in the Wizarding World"

"Modulating those tricky vowels - an Elocution Guide for the Spiralist"

.............

I've always joked that the sequel to the book, Watership Down, could be "Warren Peace".

*runs away*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love the Elocution Guide one! ha!

[katazhena.livejournal.com]

How I wish I would have "consulted" you when making Snape's Office -- I was searching for Snape-themed book titles! The only one I came up with that wasn't half-bad was So Many Buttons, So Little Time. :)

Hmm. Now that I think about it... I'll be making a Spinner's End vignette and we know there's a *ton* of books in that setting! May I use your ingenious titles on some of those books?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

*salivates over So Many Buttons*

Oh, sure! *giggles* I'd love to see them immortalized like that...it would be so cool!

[randomspectator.livejournal.com]

Heee! Those are brilliant!

"A Farewell to Arms: How to Deal With Nasty Dismemberment Hexes" particularly cracked me up!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

haha! Glad you enjoyed them!

[aramintasnape.livejournal.com]

LOL! Very amusing :)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it!

[mehitobel-ny.livejournal.com]

Seeing as how we've got mutual connections, I thought I'd poke in & introduce myself via a comment on your lj. Enjoyed reading your reading material, and i have 2 (long-winded) contributions of my own to the Library.

The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, and Went Out Again, With a Bang

A Modest Proposal (For Preventing the Children of Mudbloods in the Wizarding World from Being a Burden to Their Teachers, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Public by Turning Them Into Potion Ingredients)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, absolutely lovely! Totally lol about turning into potions ingredients.

This will be a challenge on quirkyhpshorts in another week or so...hopefully you can contribute more! :)