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Entry tags:
Fourth Renfest entry
First Renfest entry
Second Renfest entry
Third Renfest entry (from last weekend)
Other observations
There is a Barrel Ride near Bob's booth, and it's pretty funny to watch the two guys who run the ride. It's a large "barrel" that you sit in, and it's suspended from a post and lintel frame by a rope. The barrel guy rocks the barrel back and forth like a swing, and then spins it. The two guys alternate; one will work most of the day, the other spells him for a break or two. Regular Barrel Guy is the one who covers it for breaks, I think. He dresses normally, drinks water to hydrate himself, sometimes wears a hat for sun protection, sits down, and speaks in a regular tone of voice. The other guy is Xxxtreme Barrel Guy. He does none of the above. "Let me hear you scream!" he shouts regularly at his barrel passengers. He wears no shirt or hat. Water is for sissies! He's also pretty haphazard about the barrel-spinning, and had to be sent home for serious wrist trouble a few weekends ago. He must get commission, because I can't imagine any other reason for his obscene enthusiasm.
Either I'm just getting pickier, or the garb is getting worse. Look, I'm a big girl. I really do understand the special challenges of trying to dress and look attractive by society's standards. Festival is a great place, because a lot of garb is meant for large bosoms and large posteriors, and some of it is quite flattering, but some of it is not if not worn properly. I cannot believe how much ill-fitting garb I saw this weekend on big girls. So many of them had purchased an incorrect size or shape bodice. If you're tall and big, and not really short-waisted, you need a longer bodice. End of story. The ultra-short bodices can be unattractive on a big girl. Also unattractive? The "under the bosom" style is not flattering if you have a large bosom and you just let them all hang out. You think you're showing everybody the power of the Big Girl with her Big Bosom, but really, it looks sloppy. See! That's the term I'm looking for. Don't dress sloppy! If you're purchasing garb, do an Action Test. Don't just stand in front of the mirror! Touch your toes, sit down for a few moments, swivel back and forth. Many bodices can't handle it! The boning freaks out, or the material rides up, or the laces gap. That's why I spent a lot of time searching for the right bodice. I bought a suede one with a leather lace, which doesn't slip as much as a shoe string. The leather has a bit of give to it, and is plain but fits quite nicely, and has no boning to poke or bend. That might not be the perfect bodice for you, that's why we all have to find the Miracle Bodice that is meant for us.
I watched my favorite show at festival...Nómmó Bugunté! Love their show. They're a dance/drum group, they do a lot of African rhythms. When I first saw them years ago, they had this girl who was a bit on the plus side, and she was the main dancer, and she was great. She had a lot of self confidence and projected it tremendously. I loved her style. She was there with this guy with nearly black curly hair who was a terrific drummer. They also had this short guy, and this really tall big guy, and they were great. The next year they brought a thin girl who was terrific as well. Well, eventually the bit on the plus side girl left, and the curly haired guy and the thin girl were doing the show. This year the curly haired guy is gone! The only two remaining are the thin girl and the short guy. They've brought in two more drummers and three more dancers. It was still enjoyable as always, and they have so much energy and enthusiasm, plus they have a better stage this year. I hope to see them again before the end of season. I miss the great drummer, though. I love drums.
So that's my entry.
Second Renfest entry
Third Renfest entry (from last weekend)
- General Observations
- To the guy who was (bravely/stupidly) wearing a black sleeveless shirt, black tapered-leg pants that (on a woman) would have been labeled "capris", and a bizarre, too short, strangely collared polyester micro-cape: Next time, fight the urge to wrap a dragon around your midsection. It looks like you're ready for the pool. And
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bob_the_mighty suggests that you get a tail extension for the dragon, as it is no match for your spare tire. - I'm very sorry, but your "elf" staff looks like it has an icy blue sno-cone on the top. Not a cluster of gems. Really. Bob was thinking that if you plugged it into the wall it would perfume the whole house due to its uncanny resemblence to a Glade air freshener.
- Yes, you do have a rather impressive bosom. However, the impact is lessened tremendously when your bodice is lopsided. In fact, the effect is more comical than impressive. I thought you'd like to know.
- I know that you have such a burning desire to purchase faux "gypsy"/"bellydancer" costume elements that it's hard to think straight, but you might want to not stop performers who are hurrying on their way to the parade and ask them "Where do you get x?" Yes, performers are nice, and will try to answer your question, but it's even less polite to grab the item so that the bellydancer nearly folds herself in half backwards so as not to have said item torn accidentally from her body. They're limber, but not that limber.
- If you are employed in a booth that sells garb, and you are working the booth, and interacting with customers, then, for pity's sake, you shouldn't wear ill-fitting garb. And it might be nice if you wore garb that they actually sell in the booth. Radical, I know.
- Sir: Tights are not always a good look for men. Some men can wear them; some men shouldn't. Silver lamé tights should never even be attempted. Not even by Brad Pitt. Not even by Jason Isaacs. No, seriously. Please burn them. Now. For the greater good of humanity.
- Attention wood chips used as ground cover: If there is any wood chip that has not somehow made it into my sandal during the day I would like to speak with you. Oh, just the one? That's what I thought.
- If your skirt is made of lace, and only lace, then it behooves you to wear something underneath. If you are a big girl, then I wouldn't recommend a tiny ill-fitting skirt that rides up. Just saying.
- To eat kettle corn: Open bag. Eat first handful. Eat second handful. Continue until you have eaten all kettle corn. Do not eat bag. Brought to you by the letter K and Bob.
- Elvis, we must stop meeting like this. Wait, are you taller this time?
- No, toothless man, Sarah O'Dell and her friend are not here today. Probably to their immense relief.
Other observations
There is a Barrel Ride near Bob's booth, and it's pretty funny to watch the two guys who run the ride. It's a large "barrel" that you sit in, and it's suspended from a post and lintel frame by a rope. The barrel guy rocks the barrel back and forth like a swing, and then spins it. The two guys alternate; one will work most of the day, the other spells him for a break or two. Regular Barrel Guy is the one who covers it for breaks, I think. He dresses normally, drinks water to hydrate himself, sometimes wears a hat for sun protection, sits down, and speaks in a regular tone of voice. The other guy is Xxxtreme Barrel Guy. He does none of the above. "Let me hear you scream!" he shouts regularly at his barrel passengers. He wears no shirt or hat. Water is for sissies! He's also pretty haphazard about the barrel-spinning, and had to be sent home for serious wrist trouble a few weekends ago. He must get commission, because I can't imagine any other reason for his obscene enthusiasm.
Either I'm just getting pickier, or the garb is getting worse. Look, I'm a big girl. I really do understand the special challenges of trying to dress and look attractive by society's standards. Festival is a great place, because a lot of garb is meant for large bosoms and large posteriors, and some of it is quite flattering, but some of it is not if not worn properly. I cannot believe how much ill-fitting garb I saw this weekend on big girls. So many of them had purchased an incorrect size or shape bodice. If you're tall and big, and not really short-waisted, you need a longer bodice. End of story. The ultra-short bodices can be unattractive on a big girl. Also unattractive? The "under the bosom" style is not flattering if you have a large bosom and you just let them all hang out. You think you're showing everybody the power of the Big Girl with her Big Bosom, but really, it looks sloppy. See! That's the term I'm looking for. Don't dress sloppy! If you're purchasing garb, do an Action Test. Don't just stand in front of the mirror! Touch your toes, sit down for a few moments, swivel back and forth. Many bodices can't handle it! The boning freaks out, or the material rides up, or the laces gap. That's why I spent a lot of time searching for the right bodice. I bought a suede one with a leather lace, which doesn't slip as much as a shoe string. The leather has a bit of give to it, and is plain but fits quite nicely, and has no boning to poke or bend. That might not be the perfect bodice for you, that's why we all have to find the Miracle Bodice that is meant for us.
I watched my favorite show at festival...Nómmó Bugunté! Love their show. They're a dance/drum group, they do a lot of African rhythms. When I first saw them years ago, they had this girl who was a bit on the plus side, and she was the main dancer, and she was great. She had a lot of self confidence and projected it tremendously. I loved her style. She was there with this guy with nearly black curly hair who was a terrific drummer. They also had this short guy, and this really tall big guy, and they were great. The next year they brought a thin girl who was terrific as well. Well, eventually the bit on the plus side girl left, and the curly haired guy and the thin girl were doing the show. This year the curly haired guy is gone! The only two remaining are the thin girl and the short guy. They've brought in two more drummers and three more dancers. It was still enjoyable as always, and they have so much energy and enthusiasm, plus they have a better stage this year. I hope to see them again before the end of season. I miss the great drummer, though. I love drums.
So that's my entry.
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Hey.
HEY!
1) It fit last year
2) It was hot
3) Shush!
4) I like tights
5) Wood chips smell like BBQ and thats always good
6) I can touch my toes *with help of my ruler*
7) I ATE that drummer....how ya like them apples?
So in conclusion.....SHUSH!
Pssst! *whispers* I wasn't there, sounds like a visual cornicopia of visual vomit stuffed in tights....brrrrr
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These wood chips did not smell like BBQ. Not after being in my sandals, that's for certain.
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Thanks for reminding me that there is no snark like Renfaire snark.
Either I'm just getting pickier, or the garb is getting worse.
I'm a spectator, not a participant, but I believe it's definitely getting worse. The Big Girls with Big Boobs "naughty wench" look is just--yeah.
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Big girls who wear awful, sloppily constructed garb are not projecting their Big Girl Best. Big girls can be sexy, they just need to do it properly! When I see one wearing a gapped bodice or flopping about I just get sad.
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Ha! A silver lamé bodice!! Whoever was wearing that should date the guy with the tights.
And the lack of sunscreen boggles my mind. I used to do a faire with a lot less tree coverage than MI, and I'd see other participants who were sunburned all the time. And sunburned badly! This was a July show, and it could get to between ninety and one hundred degrees each weekend.
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Yeah, I was going to rant about tennis shoes, but I forgot! I saw a LOT of people here this year with those underneath a perfectly decent outfit. It looks so strange.
I'm not so good in that respect...I wear a pair of very comfortable leather strap sandals, but they have good grippy soles which immediately "out" me. heh.
And I can't get over how many Goth people faire attracts now. It's rather fascinating, socially.
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And a news flash, ye mundanes! The majority of those clothes patterns you see in the Simplicity, McCall's, and Butterick catalogs? They're Hollywood fantasy designs rather than Renaissance realities. Also, it doesn't up the authenticity factor if you sew up one of those pseudo-Elizabethan gowns in pink satin with rickrack trim...
Each year I feel llike screaming at some of the paytrons - Hey! You're wearing a $400 leather doublet; you got a $500 handmade sword slung in its $200 leather belt carrier riding on your hip. You've accessorized with a $150 silver mug, a $100 silk poet's shirt, and a $90 leather purse-pouch. Looks great - but next time use a full length mirror so you get a clue that you need to replace those Levi's and, really, Addidas wasn't a famous Venician cobbler...
I'm more than willing to cut some slack on footwear. If you're a silver-haired citizen hobbling with a cane then please! wear whatever keeps you from falling and breaking a hip in front of my booth. Otherwise, kindly try to make an effort. No, I don't expect you to have to get custom footwear at Ye RenFaire Overpriced Bootmaker. Just wear something that at least attempts to look somewhat plausibly period. For less than a $20 bill, import stores sell those Chinese peasant slippers. Or, visit a Birkenstok store - some of their shoes will work just fine, feel comfy as all hell, and last a lifetime of trapsing through faires. (Hey, it's what I've done... ;-)
And what's the deal with the women who go trotting around the faires in high-heeled footwear because they think it makes them look sexy? News flash 'ladies'! The guys aren't staring at your toes, they're gawking at your tits... Now, go put on some sensible footwear before you snap an ankle or put out someone's eye with those ridiculous dominatrix spikes...
Ahhhhhh, Valis, I love your RenFaire reviews! It gives me a chance to get so *catty* when I post a comment. It's almost a cathartic experience. (insert big evil grin here)
So, your faires are getting an influx of the Goth crowd? I'd wondered where all the pseudo-creatures of the night had flocked to. Here, in the Pacific Northwest, we've never seen them much at faires (maybe too much bright sunshine?) but until about 5 years ago, they mobbed all the area sci-fi/fantasy conventions. For a while it was so bad that it made it look like the cons had a dress code - black clothes, gaudy black eyeliner, black leather corsets on the females, custom made fangs, etc. (slave collars with attached leashes optional). Personally, I'm not into that whole death-and-darkness teenage over-angst scene but, oh boy!, did I do a landslide business in selling cloaks (black LOL) while the Goths were in vogue.
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I remember when Pendragon opened their booth at MI, and that was it. Everyone had to have a Pendragon bodice. Despite the fact that we are supposed to be "recreating" a look, there are still trends at faire! For awhile, everyone had to have a creature on their shoulder.
And the women in the high heels...that is ludicrous! I've seen it a couple times, with decidedly unsexy results. It looks awful.
Actually, there seemed to be fewer Goth people this year. A couple years ago there were quite a few leashed ones about as well, and lots of teenagers. I so desperately wanted to interview them and find out what they thought it was all about.
I've attended very few scifi/fantasy cons; only one in Minn, and comic cons here in MI. I am really thinking about Lumos in Las Vegas this year, though, because it's all HP. The Minn one was not as fun as it could have been because, well, there was little or no HP, wah!
Oh, fangs! You're right! There was a GIANT influx of fangs about six or seven years ago. Fangs and mutant contact lenses, for some.
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Black, though.
Next time (which is what, next year at this point, for me?) I'll have to get a more thorough examination.
hee
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Next year? You're not stopping by again?
I think I'm going to be there on the last day of fest. I have shows and stuff planned for the rest of the time, unfortunately.
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It probably wouldn't be the same if I just wore it out to a Denny's or something, would it? *grin*
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But no more twice in the same weekend, and no more all day both day runs for me. It's just too difficult on the sinuses. :)
I'd like to see you wear it into Denny's. I might actually pay to see that, even.
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I would have liked to see the guy in capris and micro-cape with the dragon pool toy wrapped around his tummy however. <*giggles*>
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The festivals can be fun. Lots of impromptu comedy happens there!