Brought to you by this morning's dream

How to play the Cabbage Patch Kid Lord Voldemort game


• Gather four to six players together. Open the box, which comes with a die, a Cabbage Patch Kid Lord Voldemort doll, a pink set of baby pajamas, and craft supplies.


• Each player rolls the die. Highest score gets the first chance to grab the Cabbage Patch Kid Lord Voldemort. Other players can attempt a steal, however.


• The player who successfully holds on to the Cabbage Patch Kid Lord Voldemort runs off into another room with the craft supplies. He or she must not be within sight of the other players.


• The Cabbage Patch Kid Lord Voldemort proudly displays his Dark Mark on his left forearm. The player's job is to use the provided sequins, paint, paper, glue, scissors, sparklies, and ribbon to obscure the original Mark and draw attention to a new Mark that he or she creates. While waiting, the other players can discuss what really happened at Godric's Hollow.


• Once finished, the player dresses Cabbage Patch Kid Lord Voldemort in the pink pajamas and brings him out to the other players.


• The decorator receives a score based upon how many players he or she is able to fool with the new Mark. Other players score by finding the original Mark.


• Start over again by having each of the players roll the die.


• Player with the highest score at the end of the entire gaming session wins.

I swear I did not ingest any illegal or strictly controlled substances before I went to bed last night.

I hate cold calling people.

I really hate it. I have been accused of having a "telemarketer" voice before and have even had friends hang up on me before. It really works against me to try to sound professional and cheerful and businesslike, because I've already had a store hang up on me before I could even get my message across. Craziest part is, I wasn't even trying to sell something, I just want to talk about hosting a trunk show.

*sigh*

Today has been hellish and tomorrow will be just as bad. I've already made about thirty totally fruitless calls. I'm really striking out. A lot. The one person who was excited as hell to hear from me couldn't help me out because it was the one week where she would be on vacation.

Oh, and I forgot about Easter. No one will be open on Easter. Stores will not be available during the time between Good Friday and Easter, so that scraps my mini-tour plans, and I'll have only the main tour. ARGH.

*headdesk*