(mostly) real conversation with Husband

[valis2]

We now have a digital converter box and an antenna. And we get...four channels. Still, in the long run it's cheaper than cable.

So last night I was checking out the different channels, and it turns out that they have sub-channels, and the Incredible Hulk show is on a channel called Retro TV, which apparently was programmed just for me. (Simon & Simon, Knight Rider...need I go on?) Now, I haven't seen the Hulk in years, so of course I have to check it out. And since Husband was watching it with me, he ended up having to listen to the usual Valis bizarreness. Here is my attempt to chronicle our conversation. I must mention, for accuracy's sake, that it happened last night and as such many pertinent details (such as Husband's perceptive monologue about the reporter on the show and how he was Bruce's only connection to society and how this reporter character was not in the comics) have been omitted or just plain forgotten.

Me: Oooh, let's watch the Hulk! There's nothing much else on.
Husband: Okay. *is secretly relieved that it's not Miami Vice or Riptide*
Me: *notices good guy* Hey, I know that actor from somewhere.
Husband: He was a standard in classic TV shows of the seventies and eighties.
Me: Oh, he was on Riptide! He was in the episode "Diamonds Are For Never."
Husband: *kindly refrains from any comment that might obliquely refer to my overwhelming obsession*
Me: Wow, that's a pretty realistic oil well.
Husband: They had a decent budget for the show.
Me: *watches bad guy in flares and mustache carrying Obviously Evil Large Manpurse* Who's that guy?
Husband: Clearly he's a saboteur.
Me: Wow, he's really being quite obvious about this. I think even I would notice. Were I working a rig. In the middle of nowhere. With flared jeans and a poncho.
Husband: *watches as the bad guy opens the manpurse and shows the TV audience the explosive device*
Me: Wow, the rig went all 'splodey! And it was a well-done explosion too. And the fire looks hellaintense.
Husband: Yes. Again, decent budget.
Me: Bruce seems remarkably calm about this. Why isn't Bruce angry?
Husband: Bruce Banner's anger is a complex thing.
Me: Oh. *watches* Hey, look, the love interest. Wow, her jeans are painted on.
Husband: Did you notice the slashy guys?
Me: What?! *notices slashy guys* How the hell did I miss that? And how the hell did you pick up on it before me? *watches more* C'mon, when is Bruce going to get angry? I want to see Lou.
Husband: *is wisely silent*
Me: *watches as the good guys try to cap the flaming well, and Bruce is a couple hundred feet away, ready to drop the plunger on an explosive charge to help cap the well* Oh no, it's the bad guy! He's going to attack Bruce! Now Bruce'll get angry.
Husband: *is still wisely silent as, sure enough, Bruce turns into the Hulk*
Me: *stares at Lou* Holy cow, that wig is horrible! And the pants! And--oh no, honey, they're making Lou jump into fire while covered with green body paint and wearing a terrible wig! That's horribly dangerous!
Husband: I'm sure he'll be okay.
Me: The lever's jammed on the capping crane--how convenient. Looks like Hulk is gonna have to cap a well, bitch.
Husband: *watches as Hulk roars*
Me: Wow, that was stupid. He's all excited because he capped a well.
Husband: That was a cry of agonized pain from a tortured soul.
Me: Oh.
Husband: *watches as they cue to the next day*
Me: So Bruce disappeared? He just wanders the country, Hulking about?
Husband: Yes, that's the whole point of the series.
Me: Oh.
Husband: *watches corny scene with love interest reading a card from Bruce while sappy music plays*
Me: HHAHAHAHA look at that guy in the background. His sweater is hideous!! hahahaha!
Husband: *watches as love interest unwraps a bottle of wine*
Me: Wow, more maudlin piano music. Do they play this on every episode?
Husband: That's the theme music.
Me: Oh.
Husband: It's only the most recognizeable theme music ever.
Me: What about the theme music to Cheers?
Husband: It's only the second most recognizeable theme music ever.
Me: What about the theme music to Friends?
Husband: It's only the third most recognizeable theme music ever.
Me: What about--
Husband: *gives me an exasperated look of love*

Comments

[torra.livejournal.com]

Oh hon, I totoaly love you for not recignising the Hulk's theme music, The Most Emo Theme Music EVER! It's a geek classic, even for those of us (like me) who've never actualy watched the show. It's the music that we hum or whistle at our friends when they go into Emo-Woe-Is-My-Life mode and complain or look overly-dramgicly sad.

It's pretty much garonteend, too, that if you're in a gorup of geeks, and one of them looses an argument or figtht and desides to "just walk away", all the other geeks in the group will sing it for them as they go off. Just like in the end credits. ::snickers::

[oddmonster.livejournal.com]

Simon and SIMON!!!

My brain sort of stopped there.

[todayiamadaisy]

And the theme music for M*A*S*H and Magnum PI and... Husband is wrong about the Hulk's theme song, despite his many other fine qualities. :-)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hahaha! That's hilarious! I just totally spaced on it--when the credits came on, I went, "Oh yeah! I recognize it now." But it was too late, the damage was done. hee!

It's been ages since I've seen the show. I used to watch it as a little kid, and I was always totally fascinated by the Hulk. I wanted to have a Hulk side, too!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh yes. And of course it started a conversation about what the fic must be like for that show. Okay, fine, it was mostly me, and Husband valiantly trying not to imagine what the fic must be like for that show.

hee!!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hee! I kept going, of course, and he finally said, "You know, you're just proving my point." Which is very Husband-like and funny. ;)

[oddmonster.livejournal.com]

It is surprisingly not what you're thinking, but ye, what your thinking does happen. But no, mostly it's marrying AJ off.

Not that I've looked or anything...

[valis2.livejournal.com]

AJ? Really? The few fangirls I've run into have liked Rick. Um. I liked Rick, too. heh. I don't think AJ even registered in my consciousness.

[oddmonster.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Thank you! DUDE. It was all about Rick. He just had an annoying little brother.

[dark-cygnet.livejournal.com]

Retro tv is the best thing since ice cream!!! I can't get it any longer since the owner of the station here got into a tiff with the network but man, i watched that channel 24/7 when it was on. *sneef*

Valis, dear, could you please send me your new address? I would like to update you if you feel comfy sending it to me.

darkcygnet07@hotmail.com

::swansmooches!::

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Retro TV is going to be my favorite thing ever. Um. It might already be my favorite thing ever.

I will most definitely send you my address!

Hey, was it you I mailed the telescope to? Because you will not believe this, but I just found the instruction manual about two hours ago. HA!

[mingbutterfly.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I wouldn't recognize the theme from Hulk either... But this conversation was pretty awesome! :)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hee!! I had so much fun writing it down.

And I even forgot a whole big section where I expressed shock and dismay at the strange noises dubbed over Lou Ferrigno the entire time he was onscreen. ;)

[pennswoods.livejournal.com]

This brought me much amusement. You and your H are quite the pair!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hee! We definitely have fun. Nearly nine years together, and we're still totally cracking each other up. No lie. ;)

*giant hugs*

[julian-black.livejournal.com]

Husband: Bruce Banner's anger is a complex thing.

Okay, I completely lost it when I got to this point. BWAHAHAHAHA!

I haven't watched the Hulk since it first aired, but I remember it well. Which means I probably shouldn't ever watch it again, as I'll just end up disappointed.

[lewlinx.livejournal.com]

OMG

This should have come with a warning "Side effects include but are not exclusive to: uncontrollable fit of giggles and/or tears of mirth, snorting, chuckling, choking on liquids, etc"

Thanks for helping start my Friday with a good laugh!

Also...I thought I was the only person who'd ever seen Simon&Simon lol I might have to look for that channel next time I'm home! LOL

[marginaliana]

That was a cry of agonized pain from a tortured soul.

*weeping with laughter*

[mcsheplovers.livejournal.com]

While on vacation a few weeks ago, we noticed that the house we rented had RetroTV---we went apeshit over those shows. Kojak, Emergency! (Johnny and Roy!), Simon and Simon (I have all the episodes thanks to a sweet friend----Rick and A.J. ROCK!), Quincy....its amazing we ever got out of the house.
We don't have it here at home and I need to check into how to get it because I'm in withdrawl!!

Beth

[tjwritter.livejournal.com]

So effin' cute! You two were truly MADE for each other!! But tell me, what does he geek about that you have to restrain yourself from teasing him for? There has to be something.

I have no clue what the theme to The Hulk sounds like.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

See, I barely remember the show, so it was all new to me. Husband was very, very into it (and the comics) and started going into Way Too Much Detail, though in his defense, it was pretty interesting. hee!

And yeah, I think you'd be disappointed. Except for Bill Bixby's acting, which was very good.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad to have helped induce giggles & tears of mirth!! hee! Poor Husband, huh?

And I used to LOVE Simon & Simon. I used to watch a whole passel of eighties shows...Miami Vice, A*Team, Knight Rider, Houston Knights, Riptide, Macgyver, Platoon, Remington Steele...

[valis2.livejournal.com]

heee!! And if you had heard the delivery, you would have died. Seriously.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow! Emergency! is on this channel?!!

I MAY NEVER LEAVE TEH HOUSE AGAIN. omg!!

And I loved S&S. I watched just a little bit, and oh, wow, the SNARK! I might have to catch up on this show!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Well, comic books, I think, but the thing is that he's Mr. Mysterious and stuff, and I'm Mrs. Oblivious, so I don't often notice the things I could jab him with, lol.

Still, if you ask him to chart the emotional scope of the Incredible Hulk comic, he could do it in a heartbeat. With visual aids.

And the theme to the Hulk is apparently some emo piano music. ha!

[little-tristan.livejournal.com]

I've never, ever seen this show--and now I want to. Drat you, TV Woman!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hahaha! Bill Bixby is actually a very good actor, and he makes the show that much more tolerable. And it's worth it just to see it once, because the images are part of pop culture, y'know?

[little-tristan.livejournal.com]

I liked Bill Bixby. Courtship of Eddie's Father and My Favorite Martian, right? He was cool.

[dbassassin.livejournal.com]

I remember watching the Hulk when I was a kid, and I certainly couldn't pick the theme music out of a crowd.

And how about the Star Trek TOS theme music. I think that might even top Cheers. And M.A.S.H. And All in the Family. And the Flintstones. And Gilligan's Island.

Okay, I'll stop now.

You'd think your hubby would have rated ST higher, though. While I still acknowledge his apparent awesomeness, I do have to dock him one geek point. On principle.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I remember watching the Hulk when I was a kid, and I certainly couldn't pick the theme music out of a crowd.

We watched it again tonight, and while it was vaguely familiar, yes, Gilligan's Island and Flintstones and M*A*S*H* and etc. are all much more familiar. *giggles*

And I'll have to tell him you docked him a geek point! He'll make a booboo face and everything. *laughs*

[lady-branwyn.livejournal.com]

I remember that show! We always used to wonder why, when he transformed into the Hulk, his pants didn't burst open like the rest of his clothing.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, exactly! It's pretty amazing. I always wonder what they're made of. And of course this means that poor Banner has to find new clothes all the time!

[verdenia.livejournal.com]

*chortlesnort* Your & your Hubs are awesome.

Also, HI!

I think I could MAYBE recognize the theme music...mostly from having heard it elsewhere. Robot Chicken, perhaps? Heh. In my mind, it sounds kind of like "Superheroes", the emo song from the end of RHPS. ;p

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Husband is awesome. We have such fun watching the Hulk! I love snuggling with him on the couch and giggling about Lou's performance.