Don't want your jibber-jabber A*Team summaries, fool

[valis2]

• [Summary:] What is the ATeam doing in Germany? Will they survive it to stay on a ponyfarm for over a week? You will find the answer here!
  
  Is there anyone, anywhere in the world, besides this author, who has ever asked the question, "Will the A*Team survive on a ponyfarm for over a week?" My guess is no.


• [Murdock:] “So, Hannibal’s God-Daughter eh? What’s that like?”
  
  For some reason this makes me think of God Emperor of Dune, and I'm now imagining a giant girl's head superimposed over a huge snake, smoking a cigar.


• The following couple of days at the cabin were fairly easy going. Face avoided Murdock like the plaque.


• [Summary:] Basically, Murdock has a new thing: swans. I was observing one the other day...ya. Look what happened. Well, it's my first ATeam fic I've actually written. Quick and pointless.


• [Face's] Shocked blue-green eyes started into [Hannibal's] blue ones searching for lies and deseed, but instead he only found love and fear directed at him.
  
  I don't even know which makes me scratch my head more, the deseed or the love/fear mix.


• [Face] turned and walked out, back ridged, and slammed the door, walking straight past everyone and up to his room.
  
  It took me three tries to figure out that it's supposed to be "rigid."


• After a few minutes of slow walking, they finally reached the door entrance.
  
  And then the fic found itself in the Bad Synopses Summaries Excerpts.


• [The femme fatale, addressing Face:] “How many times have you got yourself into trouble? How many times should you have known better? And how many times have you let the heat in your groin overwhelm the cool thoughts in your head?” She ran her tongue across her lips.
  
  Further into the story:
  
  Face jerked as his control seeped away and oblivion rushed in to claim him. With perfect timing and just as his awareness tottered on the brink, [the femme fatale] thrust home her mortal blow. “Stepford! My surname is Stepford or is it Stephens!”
  
  Um, Miss Fatale? You might want to figure that out before you actually perform your Villainous Monologue. I'd advise a few practise runs next time.


• Hannibal had a kind of photographic memory when it came to listening to people


• So, Face h/c stories are quite popular. There's one author in particular who writes quite a few. What fascinates me is the mix of canon and fanon that they've developed, and that this mix of fanon and canon has somehow been adopted by other writers. That just intrigues me to no end. There are several components: a) Hannibal (or others) crooning "You Are My Sunshine" to an injured Face, b) mentally ill villains abducting Face, clothing him in Army fatigues, and abusing the hell out of him, sometimes going so far as to drag him all the way back to 'Nam to do it, c) having to be very careful while waking him up because HE IS A GREEN BERET AND CAN KEEL U DED WITH HIS BARE HANDS OMG, so often Hannibal or Murdock will grab his wrists before attempting to wake him. There are more things that I can't recall off the top of my head, but these are the top three. I'm just so intrigued by this--especially how this has developed into its own little ficverse, with other writers showing up.


• Apparently unnoticed by the others in the smokey, smelly bar, [the femme fatale] danced [Face] out of the cramped cantina and around to the flimsy shack, chased out the chickens and lit a sweet smelling candle before manoevering him towards the blanket on the floor. It smelt of wood, and warmth and wonder. He felt his overwrought senses realing
  
  Imagining making love in a space just vacated by the chickens is making my senses reel as well.


• They were met at the door by the elongated, grey figure of Andre, the Maitre d’ who looked them up and down a bit and then shook his head. “Gentlemen, we are closed for the evening,” he said in his best funeral voice.
  
  BA growled. “Don’t want your jibber jabber food!” he spat, pushing past the askance man.


• I just read an A*Team songfic that used a Leonard Cohen song.
  
  I'll give you a moment to let that sink in.


• [Summary:] The A-Team somehow manage to arrive in the future...now what in the blue hell do I do with them? Mild swearing.
  
  The A*Team fandom must have frightening flamewars over cussing, that's all I can say. It's amazing how often there are warnings for it.


• Face’s thoughts strayed to the past, back to Vietnam. He remembered a gay couple in a unit that Hannibal had been commanding. Everyone knew about the two men. He remembered a gay couple in a unit that Hannibal had been commanding. Everyone knew about the two men, even if no one spoke about it, they all knew.
  
  Is this the fanfic version of Groundhog Day?


• ‘Wonder how Jack’s doing at the hospital.’ Face said as he loaded what looked like some sort of makeshift canon with banana’s, ‘It can’t be anything worse than concussion, my guess is mild, he’s probably out by now.’

Comments

[sassyinkpen.livejournal.com]

Imagining making love in a space just vacated by the chickens is making my senses reel as well.

It sure as hell wouldn't smell like wood, warmth and wonder...

[little-tristan.livejournal.com]

What LC song? I must know.

That's weird, that waking Face is so dangerous. In every ep where I've seen them do it, he moans and pulls the blankets over his head.:)

Also, the last one? WTF would the canon of banana's be? (In our canon, banana is...?)

[mingbutterfly.livejournal.com]

~Will they survive it to stay on a ponyfarm for over a week?~
~Is there anyone, anywhere in the world, besides this author, who has ever asked the question, "Will the A*Team survive on a ponyfarm for over a week?"~

Hahaha. I read that as, "Will they survive being in Germany to get the sweet, sweet reward of staying on a ponyfarm for over a week?" That said, it isn't exactly a riveting hypothetical and it takes my brain in some disturbing directions...

~You might want to figure that out before you actually perform your Villainous Monologue.~

LOL! That one took me right back to the Evil Overlord List. Thanks for making my day with this! You are awesome.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

It sure as hell wouldn't smell like wood, warmth and wonder...

Unless you're wondering why you're making love on the chicken-infested floor...

[idleleaves.livejournal.com]

It smelt of wood, and warmth and wonder

... I would guess it would be more along the lines of shit, straw, and cedar. O.o

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, damn. I put this together three weeks ago and now I have no idea. Let me just wade through ff.net quickly and see if I see it...

Damn, I can't find it. It was on ff.net, pages 4-8 or so, and it just isn't popping out. So sorry.

And yeah, what the hell is it about waking Face? I mean, seriously, in some fics he actually punches people or gets his hands around their neck and tries to kill them.

Heh. You know, I never even noticed that they misspelled cannon. That's hilarious! I've become immune to that error, apparently.

[oddmonster.livejournal.com]

Is there anyone, anywhere in the world, besides this author, who has ever asked the question, "Will the A*Team survive on a ponyfarm for over a week?" My guess is no.

Yes, but you have to admit, now the question's been raised, I think no one's going to bed until we have a satisfactory answer.


For some reason this makes me think of God Emperor of Dune, and I'm now imagining a giant girl's head superimposed over a huge snake, smoking a cigar.

Go you. I wound up with images of lady Ganeshes.

It took me three tries to figure out that it's supposed to be "rigid."

Took me three more tries to figure out he wasn't a 14-year-old girl throwing a tantrum, stomping upstairs to listen to The Cure and paint his fingernails black.

Hannibal (or others) crooning "You Are My Sunshine" to an injured Face

Wait, this happens in more than one story?

Um, pardon my ignorance, but is a banana-cannon anything like a banana-hammock?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

1) I adored the A*Team, and Simon & Simon. Hardcastle & McCormick, Riptide, Miami Vice (probably my fave), Platoon, Stingray, Airwolf, Knight Rider, Macgyver, etc., etc. I loved those shows so much. A lot of them haven't aged well, but A*Team has Dwight Schultz, who is marvelous. and...

2) ...it also has Dirk, who is absolutely gorgeous, and was one of my first big crushes ever. I still think he's tremendously hot and delicious. So you have two flisters who like him. ha!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

You know, you're right, your reading of that probably makes...well, I was going to say more sense, but now I'm not certain that the word sense can really be applied to the summary in any way. *sporfle*

And I was totally thinking about that list, too!! That's hilarious. The Evil Villainess should totally read a copy of the list.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

bwahahaha! and YES.

*major nodnod*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yes, but you have to admit, now the question's been raised, I think no one's going to bed until we have a satisfactory answer.

I was afraid of that.

Took me three more tries to figure out he wasn't a 14-year-old girl throwing a tantrum, stomping upstairs to listen to The Cure and paint his fingernails black.

You've read this story, too?

Hannibal (or others) crooning "You Are My Sunshine" to an injured Face

Wait, this happens in more than one story?

DUDE, YES. AT LEAST THREE SEPARATE AUTHORS. I am not making this up.

Um, pardon my ignorance, but is a banana-cannon anything like a banana-hammock?

Yes, but with more action.

[cordeliadelayne]

Quick and pointless.

So many fics deserve this as a summary *g*

Face said as he loaded what looked like some sort of makeshift canon with banana’s,

I...I don't want to know, do I?

[logospilgrim.livejournal.com]

~I just read an A*Team songfic that used a Leonard Cohen song.

I'll give you a moment to let that sink in.~

*more helpless laughter*

Oh, goodness, how I do love these summary posts of yours, most beloved :-)

[ellid.livejournal.com]

The A-Team and Leonard Cohen? Can we all laugh hysterically before sporking ourselves?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

So many fics deserve this as a summary *g*

bwaahah! Oh, yes. Definitely.

I...I don't want to know, do I?

You know, I read that line and C&Ped it into the entry, but I thought it wasn't very funny. And then the more I read it, the more it seemed absolutely hilarious and so it had to stay. ha!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, hooray! I'm so glad they bring you joy. I love putting them together, let me tell you. I'm always grinning when I find a good line.

*hugs*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Isn't that absolutely astonishing? Seriously, there was a songfic based on Hoobastank, which I kind of understand. But Leonard Cohen?! I'm still blinking in shock over that one.

[todayiamadaisy]

they finally reached the door entrance

That must be some door, to have its own entrance.

Will they survive it to stay on a ponyfarm for over a week?

Pony farms can be vicious places, you know. Kicking and biting and running away... and that's just the pre-teen riders. :-) The A*Team might just have met their match.

some sort of makeshift canon with banana’s

With banana's what? :-)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

That must be some door, to have its own entrance.

Pretty amazing, isn't it? Only the best for the A*Team.

Pony farms can be vicious places, you know. Kicking and biting and running away... and that's just the pre-teen riders. :-) The A*Team might just have met their match.

I don't know. Considering that B.A. is the size of pony...

With banana's what? :-)

The mind boggles.

[lady-branwyn.livejournal.com]

Yay! More A-Team plot summaries!
Horse people tell me that ponies are deceptively cute-looking. In fact, they are evil, and the smaller they are, the more evil they are.
I think it is going to take more than a "sweet-smelling candle."

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Horse people tell me that ponies are deceptively cute-looking. In fact, they are evil, and the smaller they are, the more evil they are.

But since B.A. is bigger than a pony, he'll keep them all in line!

I think it is going to take more than a "sweet-smelling candle."

I don't even think His Royal Clorox could make me do that. Seriously.

[verdenia.livejournal.com]

Holy snap, Dirk Benedict is a cutie patootie! :P
I mean, I enjoyed him watching the A*team growing up, but...hadn't realized until just now that he was part of the original Battlestar Galactica.

Hannibal had a kind of photographic memory when it came to listening to people

OMG, that one got me *going*! The other ones made me laugh, too, and a lot of the volleys in comments, too, but for pure...disconnect? *sporfle*

***Yes, but you have to admit, now the question's been raised, I think no one's going to bed until we have a satisfactory answer.

I was afraid of that.

Took me three more tries to figure out he wasn't a 14-year-old girl throwing a tantrum, stomping upstairs to listen to The Cure and paint his fingernails black.

You've read this story, too?

...


Um, pardon my ignorance, but is a banana-cannon anything like a banana-hammock?

Yes, but with more action. ***

&, um, ponyfarm? Do they have ponyplay there? Cuz, um... after what you said about the fandom being harsh on swearing... ;p

Love these posts. Love. :D
*memories*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I absolutely love finding this stuff.

The sad thing is that I've somehow managed to get through all of the A*Team fanfic at ff.net and the main archive. Darnit! I want more!

I'll have to dig if I want to continue these. *nodnod*

[verdenia.livejournal.com]

Hrm, yeah. Other shows don't have quite the same cultural-touchstone value, do they?

I know for me, sis & I watched a lot of A*team, but we never watched Miami Vice, or a lot of the other more grown-up 80s shows. (I didn't have any older siblings or cousins or anything to get me into that...and we just watched a lot of PBS in my younger years!)

Hey Dude fic might be pretty awesome... IDK. Heh. That was a show we watched a LOT. ;p