X-Files: Now with Teletubbies

[valis2]

• Summary: On New Year's Day, Krycek gives Mulder a big surprise.
  
  Since the genre list includes "Mpreg," we can all guess the surprise, methinks.


• [The villainess] glared at me, hissed and launched herself at me again in a move any flying squirrel would be proud of.
  
  I am restraining myself from making a Rocky and Bullwinkle joke.


• Skinner had to smile. He could practically hear [Scully's] unspoken thoughts screaming: 'He never jumped *my* bones!' with proper Catholic indignation.


• Alex watched the meeting from behind a mannequin in the `Alterations Performed Daily' tailor shop next door.
  
  I highly doubt that anyone would name their tailor shop that. It would be like a Chinese restaurant calling itself "All-Time Ready."


• There is an X-files/Wallace & Gromit crossover. And an X-files/Sesame Street crossover.


• Summary: I was inspired by watching a zoo show and [the X-Files] at the same time.


• In this fic, a couple of home invaders crash into Mulder's apartment, which Krycek is surveiling. Krycek "reverses the microphones" he's using to spy on Mulder, and shouts "Stop thief!" so that it booms out into the apartment. The thieves run away.
  
  Now, in a normal universe I would think, okay, they don't want to get caught, and this all makes sense. But it turns out that they're professional assassins. Um. It would have been super easy for them to just kill Mulder and then run. Sloppy, yes, but I doubt they really would be scared off by someone shouting.
  
  I mean, okay, if they're supposed to make it look like a home invasion, I kind of get that. I suppose. Begrudgingly.


• X-files/Teletubbies crossover.
  
  You doubt me?
  
  "Um, looks like a gigantic infant's head to me, Scully." Mulder said.
  
  "Well, where did it come from?" Scully yelled.
  
  Still doubting?
  
  Finally, a very short red creature with a very light tan face and antenna with a circle in it landed next to the yellow one. "PO!" it said.
  
  Scully looked at Mulder. "I think we found your aliens, Mulder.


• Alex scrounged a no-sugar-added peanut butter and all natural strawberry jelly sandwiches out of the vegan crap the masseuse had supplied him. The bread was some kind of rough wheat that tasted like twigs and dirt and the jelly was unsweetened.
  
  What? Why on earth would the bread taste like dirt? "Vegan" does not mean...uh...smeared with dirt.


• XF/Once a Thief/South Park/Sailer Moon/Sliders crossover.


• I am reading a fic where Krycek is writing a letter to someone. It starts, "Dear Ahab." It closes, "From Starbuck." Seriously. I mean, I'm sure that it has some sort of deeper meaning and if I were to read the fic I might actually be moved, but all I can do is giggle like an idjit. I keep telling you guys, I'm basically evil. ETA: Oh, it's actually Scully writing it. But I have no idea to whom.


• XF/Babylon 5/La Femme Nikita/Twin Peaks crossover.


• Summary: What if the last words you remember from the person you loved were 'I love you in Kevlar'?
  
  I'd wonder if they were planning on using me for target practice.


• "Do you know how one of these work?" The bounty hunter asked handing Krycek a small, metallic cylinder.
  
  "Sure." Krycek said, not really knowing, but trying to act like it. He began fooling with it, turning it in his hands.
  
  `Ffttpphhtttt'
  
  "Holy....."
  
  "Watch where you point that thing."

Comments

[marginaliana]

X-files/Sesame Street crossover

*grabbyhands*

You keep mentioning all these crossovers and I keep thinking "but that could be brilliant!" and then I have to remember that it's probably not.

What if the last words you remember from the person you loved were 'I love you in Kevlar'?

It would be because I then said, "I fucking hate Kevlar, you ass," and shot them.

Vegan bread totally tastes like dirt to us omnivores, for the record. :D

[valis2.livejournal.com]

You keep mentioning all these crossovers and I keep thinking "but that could be brilliant!" and then I have to remember that it's probably not.

Dude. YES, exactly. And wtf, Sailor Moon? How the hell did they work THAT in? *resists urge to find out*

It would be because I then said, "I fucking hate Kevlar, you ass," and shot them.

OMG BRILLIANT! You should be doing the commentary for this, dude. hahaha!

Vegan bread totally tastes like dirt to us omnivores, for the record. :D

But...twigs?! Dirt and twigs? I dunno. Seems a little weird.

[marginaliana]

But...twigs?! Dirt and twigs? I dunno. Seems a little weird.

Hahahaha see, as a person who has eaten the cooking of my hippie vegan friends far more often than I would like, I totally get the dirt metaphor. Vegan food tastes, to me, like someone just picked something up off the ground and put it on my plate. I'm always sitting there going "artificial flavorings were invented for a reason!"

I think there needs to be a Batshit-O-Meter for crossovers. Like, is XF/Sailor Moon more or less quantitatively batshit than XF/Teletubbies? Hmmm.

Batshit Level One - fandoms that take place in nominally the same universe and have similar themes (The West Wing/NCIS/Law and Order)

up to

Batshit Level Four - fandoms that take place in nominally the same universe and at least one allows for the possibility of integration with the other because it contains supernatural or woogy elements (X-Files/Sesame Street or Buffy/Harry Potter)

up to

Batshit Level Seven - crossovers between incompatible universes but where the author can rejigger one universe as a subset of the other (Doctor Who/Teletubbies)

up to

Batshit Level Ten - fandoms that take place in separate universes and have different tones and are not even remotely compatible with each other (The West Wing/Teletubbies)

What do you think?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

OMG I THINK THIS IS BRILLIANT!! BRILLIANT, I TELL YOU.

Now I want to go back and classify all of the crossovers according to your list!

BRILLIANT, I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

*lurves*

[idleleaves.livejournal.com]

I keep telling you guys, I'm basically evil.

... Is this supposed to be news to us?

Also, ROFL @ the badfics here. Sometimes reading awful stuff is just as much (okay, sometimes more) fun than reading the good stuff.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

... Is this supposed to be news to us?

Well, I keep hoping someone will argue with that...

Also, ROFL @ the badfics here. Sometimes reading awful stuff is just as much (okay, sometimes more) fun than reading the good stuff.

hee! I know I've learned more about writing from the badfic than I have from the goodfic, no lie. :)

[lady-branwyn.livejournal.com]

'He never jumped *my* bones!' with proper Catholic indignation.
I am still trying to wrap my mind around this.
I have to admit that I kinda like the idea of the Teletubbies as aliens.
Sure." Krycek said, not really knowing, but trying to act like it.
Is this character not supposed to be very bright?

[cordeliadelayne]

Heeeeeeeeeee! I think my brain short-circuited at the idea of X-Files/Wallace & Gromit.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I am still trying to wrap my mind around this.

Even if you know the further context, it is just as baffling. Seriously. She would never think this.

I have to admit that I kinda like the idea of the Teletubbies as aliens.

It would explain the communication devices in their bellies...

Is this character not supposed to be very bright?

I do think he is of above average intelligence in canon (most of the time). Except according to this author, obviously. *grins*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Isn't that the craziest concept? Mulder/Scully are, of course, trying to locate their cheese.

[cordeliadelayne]

Lol, of course they are.

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

Err... every bread I've made or eaten so far was vegan... No animal products included. Flour, water, salt, a bit of vinegar, yeast. Or sour dough. Most of our breads taste pretty good. Note: I am not American!

There are some vegan spreads that are really disgusting, but if it's just "no animal products" that's a lot of good stuff. And the jam comes with sugar :-D

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

I love the batshit-o-meter! *g*

[dawnebeth.livejournal.com]

So--How did Mulder like the Teletubbies? Because we know how he feels about Barney? lol (according to Mulder, Barney is the most heinous power on earth)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hahaha! I had no idea that Mulder felt that way. Fascinating!

And I didn't get far enough to find out. Though he seemed rather taken by them in the bits that I read. *grins*