Strange thoughts about the fandom wish list

[valis2]

starrysummer has an entry here called Fandom Secret Wishes.

It's an anon meme where you go and talk about what you wish for in fandom. Predictably, most of the wishes are:

• I want to be a BNF


• I want more reviews


• I want to be part of an invite-only community (like erotic_elves)


• I want more people to friend me


• I want to write better


• I want to be recced more often and/or by bigger names


• I want fanart
(thanks for reminding me, scarah2)

Then I came across this comment by an anonymous poster:

It's weird to be posting here -- people are mentioning communities that I'm a member of, and I wasn't aware they were so prestigious, for lack of better term.
Mostly, though, I want to improve -- I'm stuck in a rut, and I'm telling the same story over and over and over again. I use the same motiufs, the same turns of phrase, and I hate it so much. I emulate my BNF friends over and over.
All I ever wanted was for one person -- just this one person -- to tell me I was good, and worth reading, and respectable. But she hasn't, and I don't think she ever will, and it hurts because I care about her so much.

First of all...I must admit that this might be a joke. Totally possible.

If it isn't, though, it brings up a thought. Do you feel that comments made by BNFs or writers that you respect have more weight or less weight than the average review? Personally, I am interested in every comment I receive, but I know that I'll really pay attention if it's from someone I know is a talented writer.

If you do feel that comments from those you respect have more weight, would you be terribly hurt if you never received one from someone you respect? from someone you interact with regularly? from someone who is a cherished LJ friend? from someone who is a cherished friend? from someone you are related to?

The first fandom person I ever friended was deepforestowl. One day she asked about my fic, and I pointed it to her, and was jumping around the apartment, totally excited that she was going to try it. This was before I really understood the HP fandom and pairings and genre. She commented relatively quickly and said, basically, that it wasn't her cup of tea. I was so sad for several minutes; I just sat and stared at the screen in misery. That is, until I remembered that HP fandom is just like RL. No matter how great your Tom Clancyesque novel is, I'm not going to read it, and this applies to everyone else. Some stories are just inaccessible to some readers. Almost no fic is going to capture everyone's attention, just like almost no book is going to capture the entire market. You should try instead to capture your niche, I think. And the point of this rambling paragraph is that pinning your hopes on that one BNF mega-fabulous prize-winning writer to validate your work is probably not the best idea. Perhaps you should just write for yourself, with vague thoughts about your audience as a whole.

Just my thoughts. I've been thinking about this all day.

Comments

[scarah2.livejournal.com]

Plus a ton of people were like FANART. LOL I'm seriously going to give it a try. Once I finish these 48958 commitments....

[valis2.livejournal.com]

You're totally right!

And then there was one fanartist who was like, FANFIC.

[gillieweed.livejournal.com]

Having never read more than 3 chapters of any fic written by any BNF (or BNF wannabe), I probably shouldn't talk, but I can't imagine why anyone would stake their heart and soul and wellbeing on being "validated" by any of them. I doubt most of them want the responsibility either.

The comment above is very sad and hope the person who posted it has some very nice SMF or even NNFs who she "talks" with regularly--they're the ones who know her and can help her the most. The thought of some poor person who finds it necessary to "emulate my BNF friends over and over" is horrifying, and IMO, the very reason the writer is in "a rut."

[ldybastet.livejournal.com]

It is a subject worthy of some thought. *nods*

As fun as it can be to be a member of an invite-only community, I think that it only reflects the inviter's taste. If the community is large, it would of course also give a bigger audience, but in the end, we can also crosspost. *is guilty of that*

Do you feel that comments made by BNFs or writers that you respect have more weight or less weight than the average review? Personally, I am interested in every comment I receive, but I know that I'll really pay attention if it's from someone I know is a talented writer.

I actually not certain who's a BNF and who's not in this fandom. It's so huge that a person who is considered a BNF in the Snarry corner can be totally unknown to me in the Snucius and Malcest corner. *g* But apart from that:

I'm grateful for every comment and reply I get (unless it tells me I suck and not why), but I have to admit that a reply that says something about what was liked, in what way, an emotion it evoked, or a thought about the fic, or a favourite line, etc. will bring a little more squee to my heart. If the comment is from someone whose writing I enjoy and whose talent I admire, then of course I'll be bouncing happy. I think most of us would take that as some kind of... validation? Because if someone we admire likes what we do, then perhaps we are also worthy of admiration?

If you do feel that comments from those you respect have more weight, would you be terribly hurt if you never received one from someone you respect? from someone you interact with regularly? from someone who is a cherished LJ friend? from someone who is a cherished friend? from someone you are related to?

I wouldn't be hurt no... Because like you say, we can't please all tastes and all people. And perhaps the admired person didn't even see it? First and foremost, I try to please myself, but I know also that input from others (like a beta-reader or attentive reader) can push me further and make me improve my writing, so in a way, I do try to please that person as well, pushing for more. But I think that if I knew the person read the fic and didn't say anything about it, I would be disappointed. Mostly in myself and my writing ability. When it comes to online friends and people I am close to, I think I already know to a certain extent who will reply, who will like, and who won't read. If I know them well, I know their tastes, so then there's nothing to be disappointed about. :-)

[virtual-gravy.livejournal.com]

I can create a couple of new screen names and friend you with them if it would make you feel like you are getting closer to your goal. :)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

The thought of some poor person who finds it necessary to "emulate my BNF friends over and over" is horrifying, and IMO, the very reason the writer is in "a rut."

Exactly! So strange.

I'm still not convinced that it is really an honest comment and not someone poking fun at being wangsty, but wow.

I really think that it's a setup for failure, pinning everything on one person and hoping that they'll notice you. And then say something nice.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I actually not certain who's a BNF and who's not in this fandom. It's so huge that a person who is considered a BNF in the Snarry corner can be totally unknown to me in the Snucius and Malcest corner.

That is the interesting thing about HP fandom...it's enormous! Each pairing has its own crowd. Who is queen in HP/DM is unknown for RL/SS shippiers.

First and foremost, I try to please myself, but I know also that input from others (like a beta-reader or attentive reader) can push me further and make me improve my writing, so in a way, I do try to please that person as well, pushing for more. But I think that if I knew the person read the fic and didn't say anything about it, I would be disappointed.

Interesting! Yes, I have to admit, if I knew that one of the people on my flist was a gigantic supporter of SS/OFC and never commented on my SS/OFC, I'd be curious as to why.

But I don't think I'd ever be as consumed as the anonymous commenter seems to be, honestly. I've had my moment of realization, and after that, worrying about people I know not reading isn't really as upsetting. Friends will read what they want to read...just as I read what I want to read.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Virtual gravy sockpuppets...how cute.

You could make up names like bohemian_gangster and yoyoyo_I'm_takin'_pictures_heah.

[virtual-gravy.livejournal.com]

bohemian_gangster.... I sholud have thought off that :)

[ziasudra-fic.livejournal.com]

If you do feel that comments from those you respect have more weight, would you be terribly hurt if you never received one from someone you respect? from someone you interact with regularly? from someone who is a cherished LJ friend? from someone who is a cherished friend? from someone you are related to?

My first reaction: no.

But I'm not made of stone...

So maybe, if I come to know and respect that person via some sort of personal interaction, whether online or in RL, AND they know about my post/fic/whatever. There's no need to feel hurt over someone who I know don't read my posts. Fandom is too big for me to want to be recognized cross-the-board (in fact, that would terrify me).

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hee! It really would be a funny name, now that I think about it.

[bohemian-gangst.livejournal.com]

Ummm... hi. I saw your LJ... can we be firends *BIG SMILE*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

There's no need to feel hurt over someone who I know don't read my posts.

Yes, exactly what I'm trying to say! :) I can't get that caught up in worrying because a person I like a lot hasn't read my story. Everyone makes choices, and I've probably not read stories by my friendslist that I should have, anyway.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!

Oh, you are crazy cool, sir.

*still laughing*

You have to make an icon out of that shirt for this account.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Um...what does BNF stand for?

here via daily_snitch

[parallactic.livejournal.com]

I think the equivalent of, "I liked it," coming from a person you admire carries more weight than the same comment from a stranger. But an, "I liked it for a, b, and c," or concrit from anyone is really good.

[parallactic.livejournal.com]

Big Name Fan. Generally, a fan who's popular and well-known in their fannish circle.

[bohemian-gangst.livejournal.com]

Um.. *clears throte*

I dont know what you are talking about... *Wink*

Re: here via daily_snitch

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, valid concrit is like a cupcake with frosting. Completely awesome.

I love your icon, btw.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hee! With a name like that, you have to have some pretty bodacious clothing, I'd say.

Re: here via daily_snitch

[parallactic.livejournal.com]

Concrit is like champagne going straight to my head. It makes me swoon, and I probably embarass myself over the way I gush.

Thanks. :) It's by lady_wormtongue.

Re: here via daily_snitch

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Concrit makes me feel like I'm skating out onto a perfectly frozen pond and melting snowflakes on my tongue.

Okay, maybe it's not that great, but I still appreciate it a lot. ;)

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

Oh. That's interesting.

I remember a fanfic writer on a Xena thingy awhile back who actually wound up getting hired as a writer for the last couple of seasons. I guess she'd count, huh.

I probably said this before, but I love your sinister ducks icon. One of my favorite songs.

[gillieweed.livejournal.com]

ROFL1!!11Leventy!!one!
Me too! Me too! I want to feel validated!

[aerynstales.livejournal.com]

Just wizzing by as I make dinner...heheh.

Interesitng list...I guess I'm guilty of wanting some of those, though I had to scan your comments to figure out what a BNF was! LOL!

I don't want to be a BNF...and personally, I know I never will be. I'm not that good...nor do I cater to one interpretation of Snape or another. Ah well. :D

I'd love fanart though! *Nods* I'd love more reviews...cuz I'm a review whore. I'd love to be recc'd...and let's see I DO want to write better...and hopefully I have improved.

As for an invite only community...ehhh...no biggie to me. It's a nice ego boost, I'm sure...but I'm not going to cry over it. :D

In the end I do this for fun. If people like what I write and take notice...woot! If not...well, I'm learning loads and exercising my creative muscles.

That said...fan art and more reviews would be lovely thanks...*snickers and runs*