Ah, spam. You cheer me so.

[valis2]

---
Military or 24-hour time Barrel

I want a time barrel. It would come in handy, don't you think? "Oops, I just killed Dumbledore!" "Quickly! To the Time Barrel!"
---
The question that's on everyone's lips:

Could loincloth be bavaria
---
Most beautiful spam letter:

"DEAR CHARLES, "I think when you and I were tree at Eton together, we were
neither of us what could be called popular characters: dance you were a
sarcastic, observant,
our young hiking men and glide women."
Your chum,
Bolade

A young, hiking, sarcastic, observant tree named Bolade attending Eton. Excellent.
---
Sounds like a personal problem:

faun degrease
---
The football game that cannot be bothered:

scrimmage imperturbable
---
Me in the morning:

bellyache banshee
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Words that have never before been combined in the English language:

jehovah monocotyledon core
amaze bong daley
rift backbone mesh
protuberant, it covary
shady nectareous prow
---
Well, this clears it all up.

it's lippincott but caroline on reid not borealis , short
---
The latest postal service:

mustache a missive
---
Sir, you are entirely too fresh in your address.

My little pumpkin, we got to check this in no time.
---
Not antacid but wristwatch.

How could I ever have confused them?
---

Comments

[atdt1991.livejournal.com]

This is the best. *continues giggling madly*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Thank 'ee kindly, my little pumpkin. *pets*

[florence-craye.livejournal.com]

These are too too funny. I love your spam entries!

Bolade should totally be in fanfic.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I totally want to read about a sarcastic tree at Eton. Seriously!

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

Man, you get the best spam! All I ever get is horny grannies. :) That Eton one is so evocative...I am imagining this wistful homoerotic love affair between brilliant but oddly naive and childlike British schoolboys...

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I am imagining this wistful homoerotic love affair between brilliant but oddly naive and childlike British schoolboys...

Trees! They're trees! That was, I think, my favorite part.

Wow, I've never found a horny granny bit of spam! That must be hilarious!

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the trees bit just made it so sweet. So...gentle and kooky. Aw....

Yes. Horny granny: she'll give head till she drops dead. That's a direct quote. :-S

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hahaha!

That's hysterical.

And with the trees you could do this whole seasonal thing, like one tree rejects the other and then whoa! winter, y'know. And then they touch branches again and...buds! it's spring!

[rexluscus.livejournal.com]

Or like a whole...shit, what was that Ovid story? The old couple who were polite to the gods and became trees on either side of the door of the temple when they died? *googles* Philemon and Baucis. They twine their branches over the doorway, it's so sweet...

[agatha-s.livejournal.com]

Could loincloth be bavaria

Interesting question. But I think Bavarians would notice that something is wrong. :)

[(Anonymous)]

"Hmm, it is a bit drafty today..."

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Argh! that was me.

[chocolate-limes.livejournal.com]

I wonder if you get a certain kind of spam due to the type of person you are... I hope not. I only ever get farmyard porn in my inbox o_o

I want a time barrel. It would come in handy, don't you think? "Oops, I just killed Dumbledore!" "Quickly! To the Time Barrel!"

You slay me XD I had to iconise...

[valis2.livejournal.com]

ahahahah!! Icons are love.

How totally awesome.

To be honest, though, I did have to wade through 320 pieces of spam to find that handful of funny lines...

[chocolate-limes.livejournal.com]

That is a lot of spam, to be fair. Looking in my trash folder I have 95 spam messages since it last emptied itself adn the only remotely humourous one was "With Hoodia you WON'T over eat! .. headwater" - which would have been a whole lot less amusing if it didn't have 'headwater' at the end. What is headwater and why would you want to over eat on it anyway?

Ahh, the mysterious spam..