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Right now I am thinking. About fanfiction, my constant obsession.

History...started writing fanfiction when the Mummy came out. Wrote lots. But at that time I had no real idea that there were vast seas of it on the internet. I typed it out on my manual typewriter of joy. Life caught up to me, and I was too busy to do much of anything else. I started reading fanfiction about a year ago, and I overdosed on Mummy fanfiction, especially about Ardeth Bay. Then last November I finally got my own computer. Super happy, yes, very. And I then I read even more Mummy fanfic. I uploaded a few of my old pieces. After that I was bitten by the Severus Snape bug, and I haven't looked back.

Yes, I am obsessed. I really didn't think much of the HP books when I first read them, but now that I've reread them twice over, and read hundreds of HP fanfics, I am completely obsessed. Really.

So. On one hand, I am thinking that fanfic is an incredible wish-fulfillment fantasy, that it frees one to pursue their own goals in other artist-created settings, that it is a healthy writing exercise. On the other hand...I am destroying my life! Argh! I have so much to do, and I'm writing another chapter instead! Or reading more!!

*sigh*

Today, however, I realized why I do it. Writing is so solitary, so isolating, and usually you end up with only one person to read your thoughts. And they nearly always say..."It's nice." When you press them, they say..."I'd like to read more." Here in fanfic-land we have reviews from a multitude of people, anonymous, who a) actually have an interest in the sort of fic you're writing, and b) have no need to "be nice". My fic is on ff.net (fanfiction.net) and fa.org (fictionalley.org) and, while I have not been getting a huge quantity of reviews, they have not been the "its gr8 wrt mor plz!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!" kind. I realize that my fic is an immediate "Back button" kind of fic (many people will not even try to read it because of the plot) so I can't be too unhappy that it doesn't get as many hits or reviews as "Snape realizes that he does love Harry" fics.

But to my point. I received a review today, one that I least expected. Here it is:

I just wanted to say that this is without a doubt the greatest story I have ever read on this site, and one of the greatest stories that I have EVER read ANYWHERE! Seriously..I don't know what it is you do for a living, but if everything you write is as good as this you should think about making a profession out of it. You've got Snape down pat! I love it and I can't wait to read more.

It has made my day. Honestly. Though you are supposed to say "I write only for myself" and pose dramatically, it really does feel wonderful when someone else reads something you've written and GETS it. Though the above review is hyperbolic, it still feels nice. Anyway, those are my two cents.

You can find my fics here, if you're interested.

Ah, more fanfic babble later. Must go grocery shopping now. Must get ciabatta bread.

(no subject)

Ah, ciabatta bread. And French goat's milk butter. Heavenly.

Where was I?

Ah yes...the lovely polarized muse...on one side, writing ANYTHING is better than writing nothing...on the other side, shouldn't you be writing something that can get you somewhere, instead of writing what amounts to someone else's property?

After all, fanfiction is truly the property of the creator behind the original source.

So we have the lovely duality of writing for fun, or writing for (hopefully) profit. I've seen some "rebels" who seem to imply that fanfic is the far nobler course. I am not sure that I see it that way. It really just seems to be a great way to exercise the writing muscles.

I mean, creating a whole world from scratch takes time, sure. But using someone else's world believably is just as much of a difficulty in some ways. After all, every time you write you have to continually think, would they really say this? think this? do this? It can be spectacularly distracting. I think it does take skill. Plus, one of the biggest inherent dangers in the fanfic world is a badly written self-insertion fic, which seems to happen quite a bit. So you have to constantly monitor yourself. Is this believable? Is this too Mary Sue-ish? It can get crazy. Really.

Mary Sues are interesting, though, in one way. Sociologically. After all, they are the author, but better. And it's always revealing to see how segments of society view themselves, and what they wish for.

Mary Sue patterns I've noticed generally:

1) Dangerous Mary Sue. The overlooked, the meek, the generally restrained author creates a Mary Sue You Don't Want To Mess With. She has some really amazing power, is half-demon or full demon, red eyes, glowing fangs, etc. Another character does something really obviously obnoxious, and DMS goes into full power mode, punishing and yelling like they would really like to do in real life.

2) Perfect Mary Sue. She's beautiful, can sing, play an instrument, has all powers or several really strong ones at least. No one ever gets the better of PMS. (Hee hee.) Most important...have to repeat it...she has no flaws. She has no flaws. No, really. She does everything right. We all would love that.

3) Ultra cool Mary Sue. She's the one who is a bartender in Europe, the most sought after bartender in Europe, but works only a few days a month, but makes enough from those three days to support herself, yet gives enormous tips to...gas station attendants. And bad guys accost her out of nowhere, but she is so tremendously ultracool that she deals out death in a matter of moments, yet not soon enough to save the gas station attendant. So now she's cool *and* has Righteous Anger. Right on, UCMS!! She seems to be a young adult kind of author self-insertion...can take care of herself, has mad skillz, isn't chained to a desk job, and yet gives to charity.

4) Bad girl Mary Sue. Very near DMS, but plays out more like a soap opera than a bad anime film.

These are just my interpretations...there are better ones out there.

Got off topic there a little. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though a lot of fanfic is...not good, to say the least, it still has redeeming qualities, and I wish that I didn't feel so odd writing it.