Jeans woes

Jul. 18th, 2007 01:12 pm
valis2: Stone lion face (Default)
[personal profile] valis2
I'm going to attempt a regular entry, but I kind of feel like I'm taking cover under a table and shouting nonsense at someone across the room under another table while air raid sirens wail in the distance.

Most of you know I am a big girl. I shop at Lane Bryant. I buy nearly all of my clothes from them. I generally like their clothing, except for their weird obsession with replicating every single current fashion trend for big girls...sometimes they're just not meant for big girls, I'm sorry to say. I will never wear a tube top, for example.

Anyway, I usually like their jeans. Every two years or so they bring out a new line of their signature jeans, and they usually make a few crazy pairs on the side, as well. Last year, for example, they had a lot of ripped jeans, jeans with embroidery, and jeans with rhinestones. While I do not want to sparkle, I did appreciate the embroidered jeans, and I always love patterned jeans.

Their new signature line has debuted. They've completely overhauled everything...even the sizes. These jeans are sized 1 to 8. You have to be measured for them. Measuring involves a single waist measurement, which is translated into 1 to 8, and then you choose a color; yellow for straight waist through hip, red for slight curve from waist to hip, and blue for big curve from waist to hip. I was sized at 2 (or maybe 1, she thought), and I picked blue.

I tried on a few pairs, and 2 was definitely the size for me. I might have fit into size 1, except for a problem which I feel is rather insane; the zippers are just over half the size of a regular zipper. Why is this a problem? Well, I am trying on the blue pairs for a reason; I have a big, curvy ass. I literally could not get the 1 over my ass. The 2 was a real struggle, though when I finally zipped them up they looked fabulous. I have never had a pair of jeans fit so beautifully; there was no gap at the waistband!! I have never had that happen before. I always have to wear a belt. With these jeans I wouldn't have to.

I bought three pairs, and the fun manager who works there seemed stressed; I inquired, and she responded that she had to sell 53 pairs that day in order to meet plan. Well, I remember that sort of pressure from Waldenhell, and I commiserated. At least she was three pairs closer.

Well, that night I tried them on at home, and suddenly became distinctly aware of the other problem that a short zipper contributes to.

They ride up in front.

Whoa, Nelly, do they ride up in front. On the lighter-colored pair it was incredibly noticeable and extremely unflattering. On the darker-colored pairs it wasn't as noticeable, but it was very uncomfortable. I would have been rubbed raw within hours. No, thanks.

I returned them, and it was a bit embarrassing to explain why. I always feel guilty returning things, anyway, and I rarely do, but really, the truth is that I hadn't paid any attention to the front; the rear view is usually the more difficult of the two.

Even sadder, they have no other jeans available. No decorated jeans whatsoever. Everything is extremely plain and in the new sizes; they have some plain jeans left over in the regular sizing system, but I already have similar jeans and don't need more. I want fun jeans, with embroidery and patterns and stuff.

*growls*

Edit: I might not have been clear here. These are actually NOT low-rise jeans. The zipper is half the length, and the rest is just a seam. Seriously, I love low-rise jeans. They're so much more comfortable. But these new jeans aren't low-rise; they just have a half-size zipper, which is totally confusing.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-07-18 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schemingreader.livejournal.com
This has been my policy, and I think it's not working. I think I have to bite the bullet and decide to buy new jeans. (I didn't have a bazillion pairs, only two, but they were new from right before I got pregnant.) I have lost a bit of weight, but I just have to decide that my body isn't going to be the same shape after having a kid, and suck it up, so to speak.

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