Starsky & Hutch badfic quotes: A deadly case of procrastinated vengeance

[valis2]

Yeah, I had to break down and do it. I had no choice. Most S&H fic is pretty good, but once in a while a gem jumps out at me...

• "Shut up and shut the door," he ordered. The boy jammed his foot on the execrator making the car jump to life, the car that had been behind them squealed around them honking as it sped by.
  
  Ah yes, the horror of the Spellchecker Gone Mad.


• As she went out of the room leaving them alone, Starsky sat down on the chair at the bedside and rested his forehead on the side of the bed, next to the big blond hand.


• [Starksy] knew that being a cop meant you always had enemies, but he couldn't think of anything messy he and Hutch had been a part of lately. Could this be a procrastinated vengeance?


• “What would you like?” Mandy asked Hutch.
  
  “I’m not feeding him too,” Joey yelled.
  
  “You can’t starve him to dead,” Mandy retorted. “For God sakes Joey.”


• Hutch was loosing his rational. His reasoning skills weren't what they used to be.


• Is the "overheard mistaken activity" thing really that funny? I'm pretty sick of it. You know, that thing where one character walks up and hears two characters moaning, or saying, "Put it in harder," and it turns out that they're building a deck.


• The faceless, grey suited beaurocrats labeled the curly haired cop as a “loose canon” and a “liability” and tried to exclude him from the meetings whenever they could.
  
  *blinks* Wow, after years of reading the mistake of "cannon" when someone means "canon," I finally see the reverse!


• Um. I have to say, I like the fics where the bad guy happens to have an obsession with tall, athletic blond men. New fandom, new weaknesses, y'know? ETA: Too bad it goes places I'd rather it not. Still, I did like the first half...


• Starsky had just finished describing Hutch’s beat up heap to the motel manger, “Yep,” the man said. “They were here.”


• Unseen, Starsky winced slightly. He knew that look in his partner´s eyes. The 'Hutchinson, Sen. Has Left The Building'-look.
  
  Look, I read the lines before and after, trying to figure out what the hell it means, but I couldn't figure it out. Senior? Senator? No clue.
  
  Wait--I've figured it out. It is senior. It's Hutch's dad. But this line makes no sense in the story, even though I now know what Sen. means.
  
  Anyway, it leads to this:
  
  [Hutch:] "You know, kindnapped. Taken. Captured. Held against my will."


• "Omig-d...." She reached across [Hutch] to press the call button.
  
  Um. I know that the author is omitting the "o" in god and I know why, but I am five years old and this amused me because for just a second I thought she was referring to a Transformer character named Oh-mig Dee.


• "Ok, Ok, we'll go over the details later" conceited Anderson.... "Your detective, he's in rather delicate way, and I don't mean with child, if you catch my drift"


• ‘Well my diagnosis as a doctor is that you’re exhausted and if you’re not careful you’re going to be dehydrated as well. So you have two choices Dave. You can either lie there while I get the nurse to bring you a proper meal and a drink and then go to sleep. Or I can set up a drip and sedate you. What’s it to be?’
  
  Starsky grinned up at her. ‘I love it when you’re so masterful. I’m not too fond of needles, so I’m gonna go with the second option’ He lay back against the pillow and closed his eyes as Judith headed back to her real patient.
  
  Might want to think that through again, Starksy.


• She smiled a bedimpled smile, her eyes shining with the light of insanity.

Comments

Re: Off subject but I had to say it

[little-tristan.livejournal.com]

Lurker, that's the word I wanted. I think I'd freak out a little if I had 300 friends. Isn't it overwhelming?

I've already made one friend snafu. She looked promising, we had a lot in common, so I dropped her a comment and put her on my list. Then she sandbagged me in her reply and her very next post was a huge thing about THE ONE thing that's always a deal breaker for me, friendwise, in real life and online. (We all have our quirks.) So I dropped her and she thinks I'm a bitch and maybe I am but that's how it is. Generally I feel safe about asking people who've initiated contact in the past, and that's why I have maybe 6 friends and one's my sister. :)

Re: Off subject but I had to say it

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Lurker, that's the word I wanted. I think I'd freak out a little if I had 300 friends. Isn't it overwhelming?

Actually, no--because my flist has cycled quite a bit.

Some people show up on LJ, post frantically for awhile, and then disappear. Some people show up on LJ and are going through something big in their lives, and when it's over, they don't need LJ anymore, and drop it.

Some people are so regular you can set your watch to them--one post a day for years and years.

Some people are sporadic.

Some people spam all the time. For years.

So what happens is eventually those temporary LJers drop off LJ, and then you go and friend more people, and some of them drop off, and so on and so on. Of the 300, only about 150 are actually active, and only about 50 of those are active daily/weekly, so it's quite manageable, though I do forget who people are and get confused sometimes, too.

As far as friending snafus...well, I've definitely done my fair share, and a lot of them were because I didn't bother to really look into the person's profile/entries. Now I'm really careful about that. If I see a lot of memes I head for ze hills, lol. (And I have to say now that memes are not all bad. It's best when they're behind an LJ-cut so I can decide whether or not to view them. Um, which is 99% of the time a not.)

Re: Off subject but I had to say it

[little-tristan.livejournal.com]

I love the cut but it only works for me sporadically. Anytime I didn't use it and you think I should have, believe me, I tried at least three times.

I get the idea that memes (and I don't know what that stands for, either) are the same as email forwards. ie: something for people to do to stay in touch when they have nothing to say. I have a real life friend with whom I have nothing in common and never see but we communicate through forwarded jokes and cat pictures. (Except when she sends me some racist anti-Obama or anti-Hispanic stuff, then I lecture her into submission.) But mostly it's cats.

Re: Off subject but I had to say it

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I love the cut but it only works for me sporadically. Anytime I didn't use it and you think I should have, believe me, I tried at least three times.

Hey, I don't mind a few memes--though they do mess with some people's custom formatting, and let me tell you, that causes unhappiness--so don't think I'm giving you pointed advice here. It's just a general thing. ;)

A meme (pronounced meem) is an idea that spreads wildly. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meme) Er, that's an oversimplification, but still.

Re: Off subject but I had to say it

[little-tristan.livejournal.com]

I haven't been guilty of too many memes. Just one or two, so far. And it's getting late so simple's good. I'm going to keep posting videos, though, and hoping for a response. Sooner or later I'm going to hit on song that other people like.:)