X-Files: fight the badfic

[valis2]

• Plot Summary: Mulder goes on a shopping espedition that sort of backfires on him
  
  I would also like to give a thank you to a person that some of you may know as Fox Mulder, for giving me some great help with this story.
  
  Really? Mulder couldn't spell "expedition"?


• [Krycek] shivered from time to time, his eyelids flattering, while he tugged at the handcuffs.
  
  Considering the eyelash pr0n the fandom consistently writes for Krycek, this almost makes sense.


• "Jesus, Walter--have you no music in your soul? Image...imagine that you're Ricky Martin on steroids," Krycek's voice was nasty, menacing; Walter got the picture.


• "Oh, it feels good!" Mulder finally was able to discover speech.


• CONTENT WARNING: m/m sex and some swearing. By the way, in my universe Mulder is not colour-blind in the slightest... I believe he made that up!
  
  This makes me crack up so much. I love it when authors are completely consumed with the tiniest of details in canon, but then decide to ignore some of them. And I'm intrigued about how color-blindness could be such an important aspect of a fic.


• This is hilarious--it's a "spotter's guide" to various kinds of Kryceks. Total LOL. An example:
  
  Bad to the Bone!Krycek (Rattus Juvenalis Diabolicus): This vicious and totally unrepentent version of the Krycek is invariably bad news for the Mulder, who this Krycek pursues relentlessly. It is probably inadvisable to allow them to meet in any environment which contains something the Mulder can be handcuffed to, as blood will undoubtedly be spilt and it is unlikely that the Mulder will emerge from such an encounter without requiring hospitalisation and/or many hours of counselling. Or just plain burying, in extreme cases.


• [Mulder:] "Well, a few years ago I was called to Chicago to help out on a murder investigation and I met a Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP."
  "A Mountie...in Chicago?" Scully looked even more disturbed.
  
  Ahooga! Ahooga! Crossover alert! And I have to wonder why a Mountie's presence in Chicago would be so disturbing to Scully.


• Mulder finally turned on his back. He folded his fingers, otter like across his slightly rounded stomach.


• I've just read a very short fic, with Krycek's POV just after he's lost his arm, and the dialogue is unintentially hilarious because it's so incredibly over-the-top and melodramatic. I mean, literally like, "How must I do what I must do? I have only one arm! How can I achieve the things I am meant to achieve?" I just laughed and laughed. In actuality, I think there'd be a lot of swearing involved.


• Fox favoured them with one of his gut-wrenching smiles--as if they weren't already putty in his hands--and left the room.
  
  This is one of those fics where the author spends a lot of time talking about how gorgeous Fox is, and how everyone nearby recognizes this and eats it up with a spoon. Two male tailors are being favored with this smile, btw, and Krycek is noticing the effect with a little bit of jealousy.


• The FBI had already found out that the granite block indeed was dangerous, because one of the scientists had fallen into a kind of coma, after the black cancer had intruded him.


• Just like any fandom, I've discovered fun little subpairings, like people who got really caught up in the Lone Gunmen characters. I always wonder how those pairings fared. You know, how many people clustered around it. X-Files was pretty big, so I'm sure there was at least enough for some feedback, but I do wonder if they made their own little sub-fandom, and did they have their own lists and archives, and so on. ETA: I've found Frohike/OFC.


• [Krycek:] "Despite what you think, I can count the number of people I've killed on one hand."
  [Mulder:] "Well, that's fortunate."
  
  This is a great, witty exchange, and I'm not being sarcastic. (Krycek only has one arm in this fic.)


• Krycek refused to be lured into a slanging match instead he pushed a cutting from a newspaper across the coffee table towards his one-time partner being careful not to move too far into the weak light emanating from the side-table.


• [Scully:] "There's worse. The fire crew have just intercepted another call. Doctor Hudson's home has been raised to the ground."
  
  So the house was below ground level and was brought up?


• [Summary:] Mulder and Scully go out to dinner and are forced to confront their feelings when a mysterious stranger in a coffe shop forces them to. There are two endings to this story. Author would appreciate feedback on which one is better.

Comments

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

What's the link for the flattering eye lashes? Sounds like something I might want to read. I love ott Krycek shit.

Now I can't remember, what's the correct spelling of raised in that context? Razed? Bah, bad brain.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Damnit, I have no idea where I got the eyelashes bit. I'll have to see if I can find it, but no promises.

I believe it's "razed," yeah. But it certainly gave me pause at first.

I am mega-overdosing on Krycek stuff right now. I've gone through all of the A authors on Gossamer just looking for Krycek fics. OCD, you know me...

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

If you find anything good, let me know. I like stuff that's a bit schmoopie - but with a preference for Mulder saving Krycek from the silo, or stuff where they Witness protection him, particularly where his arm grows back. Themes totally more important than quality of writing.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I have found some good stuff. Keep in mind that you've probably read all of this before. Naughty stuff, of course. And I don't know if any of them will work for you--keep in mind that I like h/c and a touch of angst and sometimes schmoop, so we might not align here.

Comeuppance IV (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?ComeuppanceIV.mult) (No, I have no idea where the other three are) is a bit schmoopy. And it's all about the bullets.

The Maze (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?Maze.Alyss) is about them getting stuck in a maze together. Not schmoopie, though.

This one might be up your alley--Strange Allies (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?StrangeAllies), which features Mulder rescuing Krycek from the silo. However, it is not M/K.

So Many Monsters (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?SoManyMonsters.Antrim)--some hot sex. h/c

Homecoming (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?Homecoming.Antrim) Angsty, h/c

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Guardian (http://allthingsrat.ditb.org/stories/sugarrush/guardian.html) ends with K getting his arm back.

Quicksand (http://imajiru.7dragons.net/fiction/xf/quicksand.html) Mulder grabs K to arrest him, K has a cold, they spend the night in a motel together.

How to Throw a Curve Ball (http://www.ditb.org/terma/cgray/curve1.htm) Long, a bit angsty, satisfyingly plotty.

Responsibility (http://ciceqi.slashcity.com/responsibility.html) which you have to have read, I'm sure. Krycek rescues Samantha and reunites Samantha and Mulder. Awesome fic.

Possession (http://ciceqi.slashcity.com/Possess.htm) Awesome fic, dark fic, Mulder trying to help Krycek, who's become a slave to the Oilians.

Solidarity (http://ciceqi.slashcity.com/solidarity.htm) is a great fic--it apparently is a sequel, haven't found the first fic yet, but it didn't hamper me too much. I skipped over some of it but really liked the mood and the plotty stuff.

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Thanks - some sound familiar, some may be new.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Mercy (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?Mercy.DBKate) has an arm-growing-back thing. Mulder/Krycek/Pendrell. Forced!Druggie!Krycek.

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Oo, thanks, I'll add this to my reading list. Not sure about the Pendrell part, though.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Closing the Distance (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?ClosingTheDistance.Dobbin) seems interesting so far. He's not quite Witness protected--he's moved and invented a new life. Er, Krycek, that is.

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Access denied...

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I forgot--Gossamer doesn't allow you to link. You'll have to do it the hard way, so sorry, hon. :(

[valis2.livejournal.com]

grah. Nope, no link. So sorry, I fail at this stuff.

[marginaliana]

otter like?!?!?!?

Also, I am loving the "I can count the number of people I've killed on one hand" exchange. Brilliant.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Dude, that exchange made me laugh out loud. I love it. I love finding good stuff, srsly. It's what makes me swim through the archives, otter-like, cracking open the shells...*grins*

[artystone.livejournal.com]

You know how when you put an lj cut in the default text comes up "read more".

Well no. Just...no.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

bwahaha! So, so true. *grins*

[bookwench2096.livejournal.com]

Now, THIS is funny:

"Jesus, Walter--have you no music in your soul? Image...imagine that you're Ricky Martin on steroids," Krycek's voice was nasty, menacing; Walter got the picture.

The image of Walter Skinner in spandex, lip synching La Vida Loca nearly made me splort coffee all over my desk.

And just when I thought it was safe to read and drink again, there was this:

[Krycek:] "Despite what you think, I can count the number of people I've killed on one hand."
[Mulder:] "Well, that's fortunate."

I might be imagining it, but my dear Valis...I think you're trying to kill me.

Slowly. By nasal coffee poisoning.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

The image of Walter Skinner in spandex, lip synching La Vida Loca nearly made me splort coffee all over my desk.

bwaahha! Isn't that AWESOME?! I nearly died.

I might be imagining it, but my dear Valis...I think you're trying to kill me.

Slowly. By nasal coffee poisoning.

Wasn't that an awesome exchange? Seriously, there are some jewels in the sand. *nodnod*

And you should count yourself lucky--you cannot imagine the horrid pr0n I've filtered out of these entries! I'm saving you from the worst, honestly.