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valis2- [Krycek:] My head is in Scully's lap and she's stroking the sides of my face with her strong little hands...She must not realize the phenomenal view I've got from down here. God, I love her thighs. She could use some Oil of Olay on that throat, though. Those lines are gonna be ugly in another fifteen years.
Such a romantic, that Krycek. - Summary: Scully gets poisoned then someone messes with her brakes and gets in a car accident.
Wait...who gets into the car accident? - Summary: [Mulder and Scully have] seen each other naked. They've seen each other dead. There has to be a reason why they haven't gone to bed.
Those are the criteria for having sex? Seriously? Seeing each other naked? Okay, maybe that second one is a bit tougher to manage. - [Mulder] started singing [to Scully], "Man, it's a hot one. Like seven inches from the midday sun. Well, I hear you whisper and the words melt everyone, but you stay so cool. My Munequita. My Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa.
- [Scully:] "It's obvious what I'm speaking of here Mulder. You've got all these, these...um--these..."
SCULLY WAS AT A LOSS FOR WORDS
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Just in case you're confused, no, that wasn't me, that was actually in the fic.
Mulder interrupted her.
"Idiosyncracies?", he asked smugly. Mulder's vocabulary was sooo much better than her's. She only knew 'doctor words'.
Could "hers" ever really have an apostrophe in it?
FEEDBACK PLEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEEE?????!!!!!!!! It's my first post, I REALLY WANNA know what you think.
Okay. Here's my feedback: I think that "hers" should never, ever have an apostrophe in it. - Scully won Mulder the largest teddy bear. Mulder won each of them a pair of gigantic sunglasses...the kind that are an electric neon color and about a foot wide. He wore his and made Scully wear hers too.
- I have just read a short fic where the author's notes before and after include a James Joyce poem, quotes from the Bible, and quotes from a couple popular songs. The notes are very nearly longer than the fic. They're also full of squee and multiple exclamation points. Example:
[Author's note:] 'You Were the One'(actually, the title is written in french, something like Ceit'e Toi, I'm just to lazy to get the original spelling) is sole property of Billy Joel(I love you Billy!!!).
The fic? Desperate, bleak, dark as hell, and full of suicide references. It's so incongruous in all ways.
Seriously. She even mentions that she had "a lot of fun" while writing it. - [Scully:] I can see nothing in front of me, behind me I can see millions of tiny lights, bobbing like wind in the blackness. It warms my skin, so pale as to be translucent, and giving off emanations like some fungus in a lost closed cave.
- I'm reading a fic right now where Mulder is hopelessly in love with Scully. Then it turns out that Krycek is hopelessly in love with Scully. Now Jeff Spender is hopelessly in love with Scully. If Skinner turns up at some point, I have no doubts that he, too, will be hopelessly in love with Scully. However, if the CSM is hopelessly in love with Scully, I will be hopelessly in love with clicking the close tab button.
- [Krycek:] =E2=80=9CMr. Skinner,=E2=80=9D I said calmly. =E2=80=9CAlthough clearly I =E2=80=99m not the person you so want to speak to, I would be happy to know what=E2=80=99s troubling you.=E2=80=9D
- Author's Notes: There's an interesting story behind this story..... I work at an amusement park, and on one particular day, I was really bored, and so I wrote this on register tape.
Yes, as you probably suspected, this is more interesting than the actual fic. - From the author's notes to one fic:
FROHIKE IS MY MAN, AND IF YOU TOUCH HIM I SHALL BE FORCED TO PHYSCICLY HURT YOU!!
Frohike is not in the fic at all, as far as I can tell.
Okay, so that wasn't enough to make you run screaming for the hills. Here:
"Yes. I see. Okay. So that's the point. When do we need to be there? Fine. Okay I'll tell her. All right see you then. Bye," Mulder told the mystery person on the telephone.
Scully then walked into the office to see Mulder hang up the jet black telephone.
"Who was that?" She questioned the tall man sitting with his feet on the cluttered desk.
"That was-uh-Wheel of Fortune. They are sort of kind maybe, Okay this is it. We have to go on Wheel of Fortune, I already told them we were going to. They are having some kind of Government workers and their partners and were going to be on the show next week. Start watching your game show sister were going on," Mulder told the short red head wincing, ready to jump under his desk at the sound of her roar. - Krycek can't keep his hands to himself and he talks in his sleep, snuffling and snorting half in Russian.
Is it really possible to snort in Russian? Let me know. - "Put some pants on, Frohike. There's already enough violence in the world," Byers says.
*laughs and laughs* Okay, that was awesome. - Summary: What if Scully never died? What if Mulder was on Jeopardy?
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 05:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 05:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 05:47 pm (UTC)Yeah, much as I love realism in fic, much as I love the shedding of the rose-coloured glasses... that is not the way to go about it. Heh.
Those are the criteria for having sex? Seriously? Seeing each other naked?
They've seen each other naked!
They've seen each other dead!
There has to be a reason
Why they haven't gone to bed!
Makes a nice poem, actually.
... But yeah, if having seen a person naked is the basis for wanting to screw 'em, most sports locker rooms should logically be giant orgies.
Just in case you're confused, no, that wasn't me, that was actually in the fic.
I literally LOL'd at that.
[Scully:] I can see nothing in front of me
Except purple prose.
However, if the CSM is hopelessly in love with Scully, I will be hopelessly in love with clicking the close tab button.
I would be hopelessly in love with bashing the author over the head with a clue bat, but that's just me.
"Put some pants on, Frohike. There's already enough violence in the world," Byers says.
*laughs and laughs* Okay, that was awesome.
ROFL! It's so nice to find a funny line in badfic... one that's actually funny, as opposed to being funny because it's horrible.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 06:02 pm (UTC)It's so funny to me because of the juxtaposition of crass sexual hunger and crass looks objectification. It's a double whammy of ugh!
Makes a nice poem, actually.
Doesn't it, though? *laughs and laughs*
But yeah, if having seen a person naked is the basis for wanting to screw 'em, most sports locker rooms should logically be giant orgies.
OMG OUT OF MY BRAIN! I almost put that in there!!! ahahahah!
I literally LOL'd at that.
Dude, I kept looking at this entry and getting worried that someone would think I was shouting AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. haha!
ROFL! It's so nice to find a funny line in badfic... one that's actually funny, as opposed to being funny because it's horrible.
Exactly!! I love including those occasionally. Mad props to the author.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 07:39 pm (UTC)Ah, X-Files. It brings the badfic like nothing else.
(I totally replied to entry instead of to thread, the first time. Ooops.)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 07:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 06:35 pm (UTC)The "=E2=80=9D" one made me laugh a lot harder than I want to admit.
Scullys so stupid, she's only know's 'doctor' word's! Riiiight.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 07:51 pm (UTC)And yeah, the formatting issues on that fic came to a head in that sentence. lol!
That Scully. She really is a moron. *snorts*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 06:44 pm (UTC)Not to most of them, just to the one where Frohike has no pants. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 07:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 08:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 08:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 06:54 pm (UTC)Is it possible to snort without it sounding like Russian? No, wait...that's Klingon. And it's not snorting it's spitting. *nods knowledgeably* You can't speak Klingon without spitting.
*refuses to divulge just HOW she knows that as it would expose her as an even bigger geek than she already appears*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 07:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 07:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 08:12 pm (UTC)Although clearly I =E2=80=99m not the person you so want to speak to
For some reason this one left me going 'I am =E2=80=99m. You killed my father. Prepare to die.' Or perhaps 'Yes, Potter, it is I,
the Half-Blood Prince=E2=80=99m!'*goes off to read about pantsless Frohicke*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-20 08:17 pm (UTC)Oh yes! As usual, it's not the plot, but how the fic is about the plot. Awesome fics have been written about trimming toenails, y'know? Er, at least I think so.
For some reason this one left me going 'I am =E2=80=99m. You killed my father. Prepare to die.' Or perhaps 'Yes, Potter, it is I, the Half-Blood Prince =E2=80=99m!'
bwahaha! "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a =E2=80=99m."
*goes off to read about pantsless Frohicke*
hee! You'll have to let me know what you think. I remember that the writing was pretty good!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-21 01:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-12-21 03:17 am (UTC)I'm still working on the x-rated one. I just need two more lines...