Growing as a writer

[valis2]

Right now I've been posting fic at the Archive Of Our Own. I'm enjoying the hell out of not having to reenter the header info for every single chapter. I like the interface, and thanks to the brilliance that is saruwatari, I have been putting in the original posting date for everything so it appears in order.

Anyway, I'm mostly scanning the stuff as I post it just to make certain the HTML works, but there have been a few that I've reread. I started writing fanfic in my head at a very young age, of course, but I always thought that it was embarrassing to put on paper and I never did until I met bookwench2096. After seeing the Mummy about a dozen times in the theater, she started writing a fanfic, which made me realize that I could, too, and I typed a few up on my manual typewriter and enjoyed the hell out of the experience.

I found the internet and ingested tons of fanfic, starting October 2003. I started writing HP fanfic after that. And it's so interesting to reread the things I've written over the past six years in fandom. My brain tends to think of myself as unchanging, and the fics as interchangeable, but actually, I think I've improved. It's really hard for me to even think this because of the way I was raised, but I do think that I've gotten better, and I'm feeling a sense of satisfaction over it. And guilt. ha!

I'm also intrigued by style. I've noticed different tones to my writing. Sometimes I like to get very lyrical, and sometimes I am stripped down, and sometimes middle-of-the-road. Makes me think that I have no style, which is distressing, but maybe there are similar elements in these tones that I'm overlooking.

Writing is a journey, and I'm starting to understand it a little better, which is heartening.

Comments

[idleleaves.livejournal.com]

My brain tends to think of myself as unchanging, and the fics as interchangeable

I tend to think that way, too. I always feel like I'm basically writing the same story, albeit with different characters and slightly different situations. I feel like they all come off the same, like they're all about similar themes, like they're all about similar atmospheres and similar unsaid things. And then I go back and read some of my earliest stuff and realise that although I do tend to have certain recurring themes, my writing itself has changed and so has the way I deal with those themes. It pleases me, even if I'm never convinced that I'm yet good enough.

but I always thought that it was embarrassing to put on paper

... I still struggle with that sometimes, honestly, and not just with fanfic. With original works, too. I guess it's just that I grew up literally being watched, never being allowed to have a computer monitor face the wall, having my written pages grabbed out of my hands and read by my mother "just to make sure" (sure of what, I never did figure out, since all she ever did was ridicule the writing), having my diaries read, having everything I did scrutinised. Bah.

maybe there are similar elements in these tones that I'm overlooking.

I think that's most likely the case. >_> There are certain stylistic elements which may be so basic and ingrained to you that they wouldn't even register, but would to someone else. And, honestly, I think that having a writing style that is malleable to a certain degree is a good thing. It means you can more easily compensate for point-of-view, or tone, or whatever else (other than plot and characters) need to be different from piece to piece.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I always feel like I'm basically writing the same story, albeit with different characters and slightly different situations. I feel like they all come off the same, like they're all about similar themes, like they're all about similar atmospheres and similar unsaid things.

I especially feel the repetition when I'm writing repeated stories about the same characters. I start to wonder if it's interesting to anyone at all. I start to bore myself, sometimes. And I worry that my hangups--the things that make me write--are too persistent, and also too alien for other people to connect with. I will often get completely absorbed in a small and bizarre detail that no one else cares about.

With original works, too. I guess it's just that I grew up literally being watched, never being allowed to have a computer monitor face the wall, having my written pages grabbed out of my hands and read by my mother "just to make sure" (sure of what, I never did figure out, since all she ever did was ridicule the writing), having my diaries read, having everything I did scrutinised. Bah.

That's absolutely awful beyond belief. My parents were great about privacy, but they were extremely critical about everything, and I still have trouble with that sometimes. I still think everything needs to be perfect, or I just don't think anything is good enough for anyone. Fanfic has been pretty liberating in that respect--I can toss a story out into the world and feel good about it, and not have to worry so much if it's not topnotch. It just has to be done.

Well, at least in theory. In practice, I still obsess over this stuff. lol.

There are certain stylistic elements which may be so basic and ingrained to you that they wouldn't even register, but would to someone else.

Yes, I totally get that feeling. I'll bet if you ran a little word-analysis program on the fics, some stuff would show up far more often. heh.

And, honestly, I think that having a writing style that is malleable to a certain degree is a good thing. It means you can more easily compensate for point-of-view, or tone, or whatever else (other than plot and characters) need to be different from piece to piece.

I hope that's true! I know that I like to write a lot of different things, and they take me different places, that's for certain. *nodnod*

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

I used to make up stories in my head about characters in Enid Blyton books when I was about 9, so I've been creating fanfic for a long time,so it seems LOL. My first stories were Star Trek (still on ff.net) and I started writing LOTR in 2004, but I shudder to read my early efforts! Thanks for sharing your experiences.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I've always thought of parallel stories while reading or watching anything. I've always inserted myself as a character and enjoyed the experience very much. I had no idea that other people did that, too, until the internet! So fascinating to see that so many other people want to immerse themselves in other worlds. :)

[hardboiledbaby]

Interesting. I'm always fascinated by how folks got started writing. I don't think different tones mean you have no style. I think it's part of the journey as well, part of the stretching and flexing different writing muscles. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. :)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I'm always fascinated by that, too. I mean, I've intrigued by writing stories since I was in first grade, like most of us, and I'm always interested in how others got into it, too. Fanfic also fascinates me because it's so accessible for everyone with a computer.

And I'm glad to share! That's what LJ is all about. ;)

[verdenia.livejournal.com]

I think reading about writing is fascinating.
Thanks for sharing with us.
♥

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I love to write about writing! I think most writers do. lol. *hugs*