Sue profiles #14 & 15
Oct. 24th, 2010 11:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valis2[Recap: Some of you might remember that at one of the HP conventions, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gmonkey42 and I put together a Snape and his Mary Sues presentation. In order to put the presentation together, we had to read a bunch of HP fanfics featuring Sues who were paired with Snape. The other night, I was scribbling notes on scrap paper, and realized that the paper in question was from a printout of the spreadsheet that we built to house the data. And then I started laughing at the quote, and I thought that we really should share the profiles because they're just too much fun not to.]
These were short, so I thought I'd do two.
gmonkey42 and I put together a Snape and his Mary Sues presentation. In order to put the presentation together, we had to read a bunch of HP fanfics featuring Sues who were paired with Snape. The other night, I was scribbling notes on scrap paper, and realized that the paper in question was from a printout of the spreadsheet that we built to house the data. And then I started laughing at the quote, and I thought that we really should share the profiles because they're just too much fun not to.]These were short, so I thought I'd do two.
- Name of Sue: Cynthia (no last name)
- Hair color: red, specifically the same as Lily
- Other: soprano voice, which it was pointless for the author to bring up because there's no singing
- Exchange student or DADA professor?: no
- Went to Hogwarts with Snape/Marauders?: Yes
- House: Slytherin
- Martial arts/sports: took dance lessons
- Moment of totally overblown temper?: not really an overreaction on the Sue's part but the author makes Sirius an even bigger asshole than he is in canon, if that's possible, to give the Sue an excuse to shun him
- Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: tolerates someone other than the Sue calling him "Sev"; talks a bunch of wussy romantic crap to her; the author sets him up as a Nice Guy, where he had a crush on the Sue [Lily who?] but was too shy to tell her and was just her friend in school
- Relationship with Snape: NiceGuy!Snape
- Other: written in the first person! That's even worse than present tense!
- Sue House: Sparklypoo
- Name of Sue: Megan RICKMAN OMFG
- Eye color: "warm brown"
- Hair color:brown
- Clothing: red negligee
- Other: the only woman Snape's ever found attractive besides Lily
- Curves in all the right places: yes
- Nationality: American
- Exchange student or DADA professor?: no
- Went to Hogwarts with Snape/Marauders?: no
- Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: After the final battle, Snape (somehow still alive) decides to go to America, so he just fuckin GOES without any plans or money or anything, to Indiana (gee I wonder where the author lives) and he meets the Sue in a coffee shop and asks her where there's a homeless shelter he can stay at because setting himself up to be totally helpless is so Snape.
- Relationship with Snape: lobotomized!Snape? This one's hard to classify
- Sue House: Sparklypoo
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(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 03:17 pm (UTC)Do you find these on ff.net?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 03:24 pm (UTC)Yeah, we snatched them all from ff.net. My proven method of finding Sues is to use the search feature. Select the option which allows you to search title and summary both. Pick a word that's kind of pretentious or angsty or whatever, and misspell it. Guaranteed to find you a Sue.
There are about fifteen left to post, and three or four of them are absolutely sensational. (I mean, these are funny, but wait till you see some of the others. WOW.)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 03:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 03:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 04:06 pm (UTC)These two profiles were done by
*checks the link*
...aaaand it looks like it's gone from the web. So sad! I would have liked to have skimmed it so I could find out. It sounds like a doozy. Amusingly enough, it was called "My Severus Snape Fanfiction."
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 04:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 05:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 08:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 08:18 pm (UTC)LMAO. I mean, I love Sirius, but LMAO.
... Indiana coffee shop. LOL WHAT.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 08:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 08:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 08:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 09:14 pm (UTC)I am bemused by the idea of anybody going to another country in order to declare himself homeless. If only he'd bought a cheaper airfare, he'd have funds to spare for housing.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 10:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 10:03 pm (UTC)And yeah, that is absolutely hilarious. Unless you imagine he just floo'ed himself there or something. I don't know where logic enters into this one, lol.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 10:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 10:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-24 10:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-25 10:17 pm (UTC)Seriously one of my MAJOR Sue/Snape pet peeves... DDD:
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-25 10:46 pm (UTC)And yeah, isn't that annoying? ugh. :(
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-26 06:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-26 06:48 pm (UTC)It is so...fantastic. I love the show to bits!!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-26 09:50 pm (UTC)I read that as "without any PANTS or money..." which makes it even more peculiar. Although I'd totally read a story where that happened, just for the giggles.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-26 10:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 09:20 pm (UTC)EXCELLENT.