Sue profiles #14 & 15

[valis2]

[Recap: Some of you might remember that at one of the HP conventions, gmonkey42 and I put together a Snape and his Mary Sues presentation. In order to put the presentation together, we had to read a bunch of HP fanfics featuring Sues who were paired with Snape. The other night, I was scribbling notes on scrap paper, and realized that the paper in question was from a printout of the spreadsheet that we built to house the data. And then I started laughing at the quote, and I thought that we really should share the profiles because they're just too much fun not to.]

These were short, so I thought I'd do two.

• Name of Sue: Cynthia (no last name)


• Hair color: red, specifically the same as Lily


• Other: soprano voice, which it was pointless for the author to bring up because there's no singing


• Exchange student or DADA professor?: no


• Went to Hogwarts with Snape/Marauders?: Yes


• House: Slytherin


• Martial arts/sports: took dance lessons


• Moment of totally overblown temper?: not really an overreaction on the Sue's part but the author makes Sirius an even bigger asshole than he is in canon, if that's possible, to give the Sue an excuse to shun him


• Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: tolerates someone other than the Sue calling him "Sev"; talks a bunch of wussy romantic crap to her; the author sets him up as a Nice Guy, where he had a crush on the Sue [Lily who?] but was too shy to tell her and was just her friend in school


• Relationship with Snape: NiceGuy!Snape


• Other: written in the first person! That's even worse than present tense!


• Sue House: Sparklypoo

• Name of Sue: Megan RICKMAN OMFG


• Eye color: "warm brown"


• Hair color:brown


• Clothing: red negligee


• Other: the only woman Snape's ever found attractive besides Lily


• Curves in all the right places: yes


• Nationality: American


• Exchange student or DADA professor?: no


• Went to Hogwarts with Snape/Marauders?: no


• Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: After the final battle, Snape (somehow still alive) decides to go to America, so he just fuckin GOES without any plans or money or anything, to Indiana (gee I wonder where the author lives) and he meets the Sue in a coffee shop and asks her where there's a homeless shelter he can stay at because setting himself up to be totally helpless is so Snape.


• Relationship with Snape: lobotomized!Snape? This one's hard to classify


• Sue House: Sparklypoo

Comments

[thedoingofit.livejournal.com]

I'll probably swoon in a huge entry about it once I've finished devouring the episodes.
EXCELLENT.