Thoughts after thinking

[valis2]

So I was listening to the first episode of slashcast again. It's been so long that I had kind of forgotten the episode (it's here if you're interested), so it was like listening to it new again. I'm most interested in the interviews of writers, and the interviewee for this ep was amanuensis1. (I was hoping there'd be a transcript I could link to, but I don't see one on the transcript community, sorry.)

Anyway, it was a fascinating interview, as it was bound to be with Amanuensis involved. She's a really great writer and a really cool person. I met her at a con or two and, though we only exchanged a few sentences, she was warm and welcoming.

She said some really thought-provoking things in the interview. Things that I could identify with and things that I've long thought about, and there were other things, too, that fascinated me, so you all get to hear about it, lol.

Amanuensis is apparently well known for writing Lucius/Harry. While I don't really read that pairing, I've heard great things about her writing, and the things I have read by her have been pretty awesome. She also apparently writes non-con. Now, I know that's a hot-button topic in fandom, but I'm just going to look at it from a different perspective for a moment. What I'm interested in here is that, when you write a bodice-ripper or a romance, one of the big releases is the end, where you imagine happily-ever-after. Well, in most cases. I'd say that nearly all published mainstream romance books end on an upbeat note, usually with the couple having gotten together, and with the assurance that they will stay together and their love will go on and on and on. So what interested me is that Amanuensis was talking about some of her stories, and there is basically a setup for non-con, and by the end of the story the situation doesn't change--the person who is receiving simply has to continue to endure and not break. For someone who enjoys noncon, that must be the equivalent of the typical end-of-a-romance scenario. It reminds me of some of the endless h/c stories, where one of the heroes gets injured again and again and again.

It turns out that she's fairly story-monogamous. I usually write the same way. Whenever the "post bits of your WsIP" meme pops up, I never bother participating, because it would just be...one bit. She did mention that sometimes she opens a document and saves a few lines for another piece so she'll remember it later, and I do that occasionally, too. Most often, though, I just concentrate on one, unless it's really long, in which case I take a few breaks to pop over and write a short story or two.

The interviewer, emmagrant01 has a special connection with Amanuensis, which reminds me very much of working at the bookstore. See, Emma loves Amanuensis's writing, and they both agreed on a style that they like to read and write. Amanuensis said that she doesn't like to read stuff that's "pre-chewed." And Emma agreed...it's one of those synergy things. I remember that when I was working at the bookstore, there would be people who would come in and just gush and nearly start crying over the Bridges of Madison County. They had a special connection with the writing. Other people loathed it. Writing is such a personal thing. It's a form of telepathy, to me. You are arranging words so that another person can enter your visionscape. And some people just won't be predisposed for your visionscape.

It was a pretty big lesson for me, working at the bookstore. The books I recommended at first were not often the books that the buyer wanted to read; I had to learn how different everyone was, and how different their tastes were. I got better at recommending. Anyway, I had to relearn this lesson in fanfic. I just thought, hey, this is a HP fic I'm writing. Everyone who likes HP will like that fic. Wrong-o. Hearing Amanuensis and Emma talk just reminded me about how sometimes you can find someone who not only shares your visionscape style but also writes scenarios you want to read. It's awesome when it happens. Also, I really agree with Amanuensis about the pre-chewed thing. I love it when a fanfic makes me think. If I have to puzzle a little, it's more rewarding. And I like to trust my audience and hope that they'll understand the little subtle extra things I throw in there. One of my favorite things to do is have a third person limited POV, and have the main character do something, and have the other character react but the main character doesn't understand or quite get it but the audience does. Love love love.

Amanuensis also talked about what she calls "the frenzy," which is when the need to write overwhelms. She pointed out that everyone has their own name for it. I usually say that I'm "drinking fire." Which doesn't really make sense like calling it a frenzy does. But that's what it feels like, especially when I'm finally pulled out of it; I just feel used up, and kind of raw.

Last thing I noted was this (transcription may not be exact, I was writing quickly):

Whatever you contribute, only you can contribute...[there are] things that one person can put on the earth that no one else can in the same way...when you create something...nobody can do that same thing.

I really love that she touched upon this, because it's the one thing that always sustains me. Whenever I start thinking about awesome writers, I start deflating, and I get to the point where I never want to write again. But this thought can sometimes revive me. No one has the exact perspective that you have, and no one will put words together in precisely the same way as you do. Cheering and encouraging.

It was a very good interview and I'm glad I listened to it again.

Comments

[hardboiledbaby]

"the frenzy," which is when the need to write overwhelms. She pointed out that everyone has their own name for it. I usually say that I'm "drinking fire." Which doesn't really make sense like calling it a frenzy does.
In Little Women, Jo calls it "genius burning," and while I wouldn't call it 'genius' (in connection with my writing), I get that "burn," that all-consuming desire to just write, everything else be damned. Not always good, when there are other things that needs must be done, but I don't think I can get rid of it. I don't think I want to.

No one has the exact perspective that you have, and no one will put words together in precisely the same way as you do.
So true, and indeed very encouraging.

Lovely thinky thoughts, babe. Thanks for sharing!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Sadly, the "burn" is not common for me--I rarely get it, honestly. Usually I get the zone, which is similar but not so wearing.

And yeah, sometimes when I'm writing instead of packing boxes or listing stuff, I get a little freaked out. But the writing always feels so good! hee!

I am so encouraged by the thoughts of unique perspective. It's the one thing that always makes me feel better about writing.

Thanks for sharing!!

[idleleaves.livejournal.com]

Heh. You made me remember something from TWH, the only con I've ever been to. We had a drabble evening, with mostly Queerditch Pubbers but a bunch of other people besides, all sitting in overstuffed chairs (and on the floor, since there were so many of us) in the lobby of my hotel. We took turns yelling out random prompts and then spending twenty minutes drabbling them out. I didn't actually manage to write much (can't really do it in public like that), but it was fun to just sit there. The reason I remember her was because her prompt made me laugh: Harry/Lucius, "Take the money and run."

One of my favorite things to do is have a third person limited POV, and have the main character do something, and have the other character react but the main character doesn't understand or quite get it but the audience does. Love love love.

Ffffuuuuuuck I love that, in both reading and writing. I write almost all of my stories from third person limited, and this is one of the reasons why. I don't necessarily have the main character not understanding something that's going on, but it means that the story is anchored firmly in one person's POV, and they're going to have to filter everything through that world-view. Everything is not laid bare; there's still some things that the POV character does not see or know.

... I almost never get that all-consuming urge to write. I get mental images that are all-consuming, but that's not the same thing. Sure, I have times when I'm particularly inspired and spend hours writing and planning and revelling in mental image, but I never feel like I'm on fire.

Talking about writers' block, once, I described my desire to write like background noise. That little write-write-write voice in my head is basically always there. It's like having music on in the background at work; you don't listen to it consciously all the time, but a tiny part of your brain still processes it. Hitting a bad block is like having that background-noise radio break; it's weird, at first, but you get used to it and after a while you don't notice or think about it anymore. Then, several months (or years) later, someone repairs the radio and the music comes back on and you suddenly realise how much you missed it when it wasn't working, and how quiet it really was without it.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

The reason I remember her was because her prompt made me laugh: Harry/Lucius, "Take the money and run."

ha! That's great. And yeah, she's great. :)

I love that, in both reading and writing. I write almost all of my stories from third person limited, and this is one of the reasons why.

Totally. I adore it when as an author you can show something that another character feels, and you don't have to beat someone over the head with it, you just let it unwind and hope people notice. I love that so much.

I once read a story where I just...it was just SO good that I consumed it. Then, upon subsequent readings, I realized that the author had actually let the other character's thoughts and feelings come through, and I'd just steamrolled my way past it. It was like reading a completely different story, and it was done so elegantly and so well that I just marveled at it.

Then, several months (or years) later, someone repairs the radio and the music comes back on and you suddenly realise how much you missed it when it wasn't working, and how quiet it really was without it.

Oh, that sounds so awful. Seriously. I have a near-constant narration going on, kind of like what you're describing, and anytime that my head is not completely actively working on something, it's spending time narrating something. If I couldn't access that I think I'd be so sad! :(

[drusillas-rain.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to learn to listen to the burn. I got so good at ignoring for so many years (not just in writing, but in other things that I wanted to do), that it's been really hard to pick-up and follow it.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, that is really a shame! I hope you get back in the groove again, and soon. I often get to the point where I just can't seem to get through a barrier; it isn't quite a block, it's more of a hump, and once I get past it, I'm okay, most of the time. Often I get stalled out at a particular sentence, and it just defeats me. lol.

Good luck, sweetie! *hugs*