Sue Profile #24

[valis2]

[Recap: Some of you might remember that at one of the HP conventions, gmonkey42 and I put together a Snape and his Mary Sues presentation. In order to put the presentation together, we had to read a bunch of HP fanfics featuring Sues who were paired with Snape. The other night, I was scribbling notes on scrap paper, and realized that the paper in question was from a printout of the spreadsheet that we built to house the data. And then I started laughing at the quote, and I thought that we really should share the profiles because they're just too much fun not to.]

• Name of Sue: Bolt Yerk


• Eye color: silver


• Hair color: short, spiky, crimson


• Clothing: "often wears loose black jeans, soft fur-lined ankle boots, and a loose t-shirt. Her robes habitually have a phoenix on them across the left shoulder and a pair of silver sunglasses "


• Curves in all the right places: "subtle curves and semi-long legs"


• Exchange student or DADA professor?: DADA prof


• Tragic past: yes- didn't know she was a witch until 2 years before, has abusive ex-boyfriend


• Went to Hogwarts with Snape/Marauders?: no


• Past relationships: Has abusive ex-boyfriend, Brian


• Other: Gave Harry secret information needed for him to defeat Voldemort


• Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: Sweeps her into his arms, carries her to his room and throws her on his bed. Also forces ex-boyfriend to apologise for hitting her, calling her a bitch and everything he had ever done to her.


• Relationship with Snape: fellow professor, wanted him since beginning of year, finally does something about it at end of year ball Ball


• Other: Author calls the the dance the "end of the year Yule Ball". Since Yule is at Christmas time, why would a ball taking place in June be called a Yule Ball?


• Sue House: Sparklypoo

Comments

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Isn't it, though? omg, I forgot how bad this was.

"What is it, Bolt?" [The abusive boyfriend] asks sharply.

"I want you to leave, now. You are not my boyfriend nor will you ever be again. This is not your world. You are a muggle, a non-magick person. I am a witch, one with powers beyond what you can comprehend. Leave, Brian, don't come near me again." She says icily, staring him down.

[soldurios.livejournal.com]

Lucius would approve. Get that muggle out of the wizarding world, Mary Sue!

Here. Have a mask and a new tattoo. If you want, we can put some sunglasses on the skull just for you.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

OMG WIN. Your comments are always made of win. homg, laughing so hard.