Sue Profile #24

[valis2]

[Recap: Some of you might remember that at one of the HP conventions, gmonkey42 and I put together a Snape and his Mary Sues presentation. In order to put the presentation together, we had to read a bunch of HP fanfics featuring Sues who were paired with Snape. The other night, I was scribbling notes on scrap paper, and realized that the paper in question was from a printout of the spreadsheet that we built to house the data. And then I started laughing at the quote, and I thought that we really should share the profiles because they're just too much fun not to.]

• Name of Sue: Bolt Yerk


• Eye color: silver


• Hair color: short, spiky, crimson


• Clothing: "often wears loose black jeans, soft fur-lined ankle boots, and a loose t-shirt. Her robes habitually have a phoenix on them across the left shoulder and a pair of silver sunglasses "


• Curves in all the right places: "subtle curves and semi-long legs"


• Exchange student or DADA professor?: DADA prof


• Tragic past: yes- didn't know she was a witch until 2 years before, has abusive ex-boyfriend


• Went to Hogwarts with Snape/Marauders?: no


• Past relationships: Has abusive ex-boyfriend, Brian


• Other: Gave Harry secret information needed for him to defeat Voldemort


• Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: Sweeps her into his arms, carries her to his room and throws her on his bed. Also forces ex-boyfriend to apologise for hitting her, calling her a bitch and everything he had ever done to her.


• Relationship with Snape: fellow professor, wanted him since beginning of year, finally does something about it at end of year ball Ball


• Other: Author calls the the dance the "end of the year Yule Ball". Since Yule is at Christmas time, why would a ball taking place in June be called a Yule Ball?


• Sue House: Sparklypoo

Comments

[soldurios.livejournal.com]

There are times when I find the comments more entertaining than the description itself. Mainly because others tend to bring up classic things that sometimes escape me. Reading through these comments, it struck me that people were a little confused as to the name. I don't really see anything particularly confusing about this. So to make the whole issue more sensible, I've added a visual that should help.



As you can see, Dumbledore has sunk to a new low and allowed in a dog to teach DADA. Bolt here had to deal with an abusive owner. Snape, with a secret fondness for dogs, sympathized with Bolt and always gives him an extra snack.

The "end of the year Yule Ball" is actually a pretty rubber ball that Snape gave to Bolt at the end of the year. It's called a Yule Ball because it has pretty pictures of Christmas trees and snow painted on it.

As for Bolt giving Harry secret information on Voldemort, this was due to Bolt bringing a dead rat to Harry's doorstep. Unfortunately, Peter couldn't tell Harry much of anything, what with the being dead and all, but Bolt was trying and Harry was too nice to argue.

As a postscript to this whole ordeal, the students did say that Bolt was the most informative DADA professor they've ever had.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO OMG OMG.

I can't even quote anything in this comment because the whole thing is covered with awesomesauce. YES.

YES.

And of course Bolt was the most informative DADA professor they've ever had. Probably the best-smelling, as well, except for Lockhart.

LOL! YOU WIN.