Found this in my old entries. Rerun #2: the valis Mary Sue.

[valis2]

From last June:
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One of the funnier threads I've found recently was this thread from marysues: thread. In it you use a template to create a Mary Sue of yourself. Just for fun, I made my own...

FANDOM: LotR/HP
NAME: Laurelleaf Evergolden Sa'thena Maaiye of the House of Veeritu'ul N'b'laeynth
FULL SPECIES: Half-elven, half-witch
HAIR COLOR: Honey-kissed light brown down to her waist
EYE COLOR: Pale green, like pieces of jade
UNUSUAL MARKINGS: Rune tattoo on her ankle, sidhe mark on her wrist
SPECIAL POSSESSIONS: Vorpal Sword of Continued Shininess, Wand with thestral hoof core
ANNOYING ORIGIN: Left on Hogwarts doorstep due to shame of parents; however, Voldemort took her for his own daughter before Dumbledore could, raising her to be his successor and the premier Dark Witch of her age
ANNOYING CONNECTIONS TO CANON CHARACTERS: Legolas is her father and Lily Potter is her mother
ANNOYING SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can read people's minds, can control the weather, knows jujitsu, can speak eighty languages, inherited a ring from her father that alerts her to the presence of trolls, can get really, really angry for no apparent reason, all Death Eaters fear her, she's Aragorn's soulmate, she's Snape's soulmate, she's Sirius Black's soulmate, she can de-seed a watermelon with a single glance, can fly, can understand the secret language of animals, knows the Vulcan neck pinch, has attended Durmstrang, Beauxbatons, and Hogwarts, studied privately with the most advanced Dark Witches and Wizards of her time, wears a Silmarel, occasionally borrows the Ring of Power from Frodo, can re-ink a disposable ballpoint pen, writes poetry of such astonishing beauty and clarity that men swoon, sings in a rock and roll band called Leviathan, can cause junk mail to burst into flame, and, of course, is an unregistered Animagus...who turns into a unicorn.
OTHER ANNOYING TRAITS: Those weren't enough for you? Fine. She lives in a magical tree house that she transplanted from Lothlorien that no one but her can see. At this point I'm actually annoying myself.

Comments

[cactus-wren.livejournal.com]

she can de-seed a watermelon with a single glance

One of the less common Sue traits, that is. *snort*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

But quite useful, I think. ;) hee! More useful than many of the Sue traits I've seen...

[pandora-nervosa.livejournal.com]

My super-Sue ability is to correctly guess the postage of any package without weighing it first. My secondary ability is to shake exactly two aspirin out of a bottle.

Jealous?

~g~

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Hee! What great talents!

Let's see...

I can usually correctly guess what a truck driver is about to do while on the road...

I can sleep during the day...

Hm. My Sue abilities aren't as cool as yours!

[pandora-nervosa.livejournal.com]

We (a big group of geek friends I had in college) sat around one evening and thought up lame super powers and those were my two. I wish I could remember everyone else's. Of course they were much funnier while high. God, that was like 15 years ago. I'm dating myself. ~g~

[chrysantza.livejournal.com]

I think that de-seeding a watermelon would be a useful talent to have, Sue or no Sue. Unless she wants to spit the watermelon seeds at Sevvie-Wevvie to show him how adorably spunky and cyoot she is.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I can just see him hexing her right into the next dimension after she tries that. ;)

[gillieweed.livejournal.com]

LOL! I can see this!


What was that?
*giggles* Nothing!
It was something, are you spitting at me?
Just a wittle seedy-weedy.

**VWOOOM!***

*grumbles under breath* Seedy-weedy indeedy.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

"Aw, Sevvie, whatsamatta, can't take a teeny weeny joke?" *giggles*

"Avada..."

[gillieweed.livejournal.com]

"...Kadavra!"

*POP*

Just joking. Not!

[superbunny3000.livejournal.com]

i did some research on this 'mary sue' phenomenon, and i couldnt stop laughing. i can think of lots of mary sues. when i was wee, all the stories i ever wrote could have fit into one volume: The Legendary Epic Saga of the Amazing (and breathtakingly beautiful) Mary Sue.

thank god i stopped before the sickness could really take hold.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, absolutely I understand. Mary Sue is, for many writers, a hurdle, a rite of passage---nearly everyone writes one. In fact, some people never stop writing them.

All it takes, generally, is for the self-aware Mary Sue writer to realize how ridiculous it is...

[agatha-s.livejournal.com]

she can de-seed a watermelon with a single glance

can re-ink a disposable ballpoint pen

can cause junk mail to burst into flame

:D
I would love to read a story about a Sue who does these things.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

It would be fairly unique, I'd imagine. ;)

[gillieweed.livejournal.com]

It would be unique. A useful Sue.

[bell-witch.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha! I need to go make my own Sue.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Go for it! It's fun.

[kleio-the-muse.livejournal.com]

she's Aragorn's soulmate, she's Snape's soulmate, she's Sirius Black's soulmate

Well, fuck me sideways - I wanna be her!:D

[valis2.livejournal.com]

ha! Doesn't everybody? *swoons*