The birthday entry!

[valis2]

My birthday is August 27th...however, I will be out of town, hence the early

valis birthday spectacular!!!

As far as celebrations go, I've done "say something nice", "made up gossip about people", and "death eater roles" memes. I think that the most fun was the valismort Death Eater entry, so I'll be doing part two of that, because it's my birthday, and I get to do what I want. *giggles* And I demand that you all have a lovely day and think Evil Thoughts!

The first valismort list


_noesumeragi_: Her Evil Pen is always ready for a quick Evil Cartoon. Though Snape has been avoiding her lately, muttering something about a rather lifelike doll she possesses...

absurdwords: She has recently learned the valuable art of Calamari Cursing. Make certain you compliment her decorating skills the next time she hosts potluck...Oh, and she keeps saying something about cooking right eyes, and then she runs away, giggling. It does sound Evil, though, so I approve.

ac1d6urn: Has been recently appointed Evil Fic Decoder. She will find what Evil lurks in the hearts of fic.

aerynstales and lfire1: This superbly Evil set of twins roams the land, doing our Evil Business, which seems to involve undoing lots of black buttons, or so they tell me, because I keep catching them practising Buttonus Unfastenus.

agatha_s: Can reproduce her Evil Icon with nothing but a ball point pen and some paper. Such talent does not go unrewarded.

angelruse: Keeps scribbling in a notebook. An Evil Notebook. And has been sorted into our favorite house. No, not Hufflepuff! Slytherin.

annecatherine: She has presented us with an alphabetical list of all appetizers served at official Evil Luncheons. And she's been compiling a list of snapesforte's hexes, but it's taking some time.

aphrodeia: Her Evil Ginger Cats will shred our enemies to bits! Or is that shed? Hmm. We might have to rethink this one. Also has been renovating part of the Riddle Manor for us, with beautiful Evil Tile.

aramintasnape: Official Producer of Lovely Teeny Minions! She has two already committed to the cause. And they're so cute! Er, Evil.

arionrhod: She has this amazing Werewolf Baiting power you just have to see to believe. They flock around her and even snuggle.

avus: Squid Fu! And if you're really uppity, he'll Sonnet Hex you right into the Evil Duck Pond.

b2wm: Has been earnestly explaining something called "elves", and claims that they do not, in fact, wear tea-towels. We're all a little skeptical.

blackletter: Defending the Evil Thesis as we speak! Evil Luck to you. Smite them!

bleodswean: Keeps muttering about something called "Constantine" under her breath in a very unflattering manner. And still won't let us have a look at this Trent Reznor Muggle in her basement.

cactus_wren: The Evil Pool is open, the Deck of Doom is dispensing delights, and we're all glad to have such a lovely Evil Summer Hangout. Though she has mentioned that someone keeps stealing the beach towels.

caladan_dd: Draws the Evil Landscapes so that we might more efficiently plot the doom of our enemies. Though Remus Lupin keeps showing up somehow in the corner of each painting. We keep meaning to talk to her about that.

cantabile: New to the DEs. Has pinned a how-to-pronounce-my-name guide to her Evil Lapel. And has new glasses, that shoot red laser beams out to crisp Muggles in an instant! How perfectly Evil!

cantatrix05: Composes some of our Evil Songs. Though they all seem to be about Snape, which is troubling.

charliesmum: Has been training our secret weapon! Evil Charlie is nearly ready to destroy all with his Evil Cuteness! We will be unleashing him upon unsuspecting Muggles soon.

chocolate_limes: Has finally put away her Dalek costume, but won't stop with the Dalek cake. That's okay, it's moist and flavorful.

chrysantza: Watch out! She has Evil Fizzy Bath Bombs, and she is unafraid to use them.

circumartificia: When she caters an Evil Event, everyone shows up. She knows how to plan a ball, y'all. Each napkin even has its very own Evil Napkin Ring.

cordelia_v: Beware her Striking Pen, that will cut to the heart of any matter and then jot it down in essay format. And she won't even break a sweat.

cruisedirector: Her Evil Naughty Stories series is quite the hit with the DEs. They're in the Evil Library.

dark_cygnet: Has been trying to explain the Evil of Muggle soap operas to us, but I'm not certain that music composed for the sake of Muggle cleanliness is really quite our style.

deepforestowl: She has been perfecting a lovely hex she calls Muggleus Bombastic which she claims will cause all Muggles within the area of effect to dance quite amusingly to "Mr. Lover Lover".

delicfcd: His team of Evil Pirate Ninjas has been working overtime. Has a relationship with cheese that none of us quite understand, nor want to question.

dphearson: Watches over the Evil Wine Cellar and dispenses the perfect wine, every time, whether it be Muggle hunting, putting the Minister of Magic under the Imperius Curse, or just hanging out at the Evil Pool.

elddonnemar: The terror of her flat noodles is hard to describe. Her brothy Evilness causes our enemies to wet their pants, which is excellent.

elliek_21: Has been planning our next Evil Outing. Says that "white water rafting" will be quite fun for all of us, though I have a feeling that Snape will bow out.

eloisasnape: Wears the Evil Smock of Despair during interrogations, and damned if it doesn't reduce the suspect to tears every single time.

gillieweed: Has been investigating the possibilities of purchasing an Evil Bus. We don't know what we would do with an Evil Bus, but she says it will be well worth it.

gina_r_snape: Gina has purchased an Evil Karaoke Machine and claims to have plans for it. We can't wait.

gmth: Has been coordinating a massive DE gift exchange, which is certain to be impressive. Though we still have to seat her separately from Narcissa at gatherings.

gypsyjolie: Has been caught drawing a massive, detailed diagram entitled "Subjugation of the Weasley Boys" on the back of a cocktail napkin. An anatomically correct diagram, no less.

iibnf: Since her Onslo plans ended in the befuddlement of an opossum, she has taken to drinking a bit too much firewhisky. We've tried everything...grilled cheese Lucius sandwiches, plastic statues of otters, even charming the glass to sing George Michael's greatest hits, but no luck. She just giggles.

imadra_blue: Has been trying to demonstrate the Force to us for the last two weeks. It seems to involve a lot of limb displacement, so I think we might just stick with the Cruciatus.

julian_black: Has been dispensing Evil Iced Coffee at DE meetings recently as a pick-me-up.

junediamanti: Has just finished the DE Budget, and it weighs in at a hefty sixty pounds. And that's just the first volume. Has taken to speaking to Snape in a Northern accent and then giggling when he flushes red.

karasu_hime: She has been hanging tiny silver stars and gauze all over the Riddle Manor. It's quite pretty. Oh, and they're Evil Stars. w00t!

khames: Drawing the Evil, oh yes. And such a wondrous evil it is!

kleio_the_muse: Has been looking quite refreshed at meetings recently, and, when asked what her secret was, giggles and says, "Spike in chains in my bathtub", which doesn't really make sense, but we just nod and smile.

lady_branwyn: Has taken to wearing a shirt with a white tree on it. I hope that it's an Evil White Tree. Also mumbles about someone named "Faramir" a lot. Not a proper wizarding name, if you ask me.

larilee: Our Public Relations Division has recently won several prestigious awards for Longest Time On Hold During a Firecall, Most Beautifully Restrained Temper, and Best Voodoo Doll of Cornelius Fudge. Though she stubbornly refuses to loan it out.

ldybastet: Our newest member, who has been demonstrating how to juggle writing several Evil Fics at once. Most impressive!

ledivinemarquis: Has made Severus Snape blush. More than once.

linnpuzzle: Talks about someone named Crowley a lot. I hope he's not a new Dark Lord; I might get jealous.

luvboromir24601: Beware Jenny the Ringwraith! She slices, she dices, she makes julienne fries out of our enemies. And she has the most fetching Ringwraith boots. They're awesome. And she sings "These Boots Are Made for Walking" as she's smiting Muggles with them! An outstanding DE.

mariannelee: Her fantabulous Death Eater Collection for Fall just came out. The Evil Togas are to die for.

mimbulus: Her tea parties are scrumptious! She makes the best Evil Salmon, too.

mortifyd: Has compiled a list of the Best Evil Insults ever, and has been generously sharing them with us, to the chagrin of every Muggle we meet.

ms_hecubus: Her Evil Penguins have infested so many levels of Muggle government that it's difficult to actually get through to a Muggle at this point.

musigneus: Her Evil Fiery Mouse spell is the Hex of the Month! Congratulations!

mysduende: Our resident Evil Siren packs so much punch into her Seduction Spell that we've had to institute a ten mile radius restriction rule.

nebulaean: Regularly creates heartstirring Evil Art.

odyssey01: Has been reprimanded for drawing too many portraits of blood traitors. Has even drawn a portrait of that Muggle-loving fool! Though assures me that we can make copies for target practice, which would be quite amusing.

ozymannedias: Has been rallying some around a strange cause to detach the head of Jude Law from the rest of his Muggle body.

pandora_nervosa: Pandora's Rockin' the Evil Parties have become so popular that we've twice had to level a city block to get rid of the witnesses. She parties in style, that one. We approve.

pen_and_umbra: Strike a pose. You know you want to. Our very own Evil Ingenue, who lures in the Muggles with ease. She puts them to work in her Evil Crafts Empire. Wait til you see her detailed version of Hogwarts, made entirely of Evil Popsicle Sticks!

privatemaladict: Her Evil Charms research has led her to the Evil Badger Charm, which is quite innovative. She promises not to use it on any of the DEs.

rickfan37: Has taken to wearing her Evil Charming Scarf, though we wish she'd take it off when we're in Diagon Alley because she always gets it stuck to a lamppost. It does come in handy, though when we happen to walk past an attractive male Wizarding specimen...

sapphiresnape: Has created an Evil Office in minature, and it's quite lovely. And Evil.

saridout: Has taken to exuberantly running up and down Muggle streets, shouting "Bring out your dead!" and laughing hysterically. We're not certain why, but it is pretty funny.

scarah2: Has constructed an Evil Picnic Table on her property. The last time we were there, there were gummy worms piled ten feet high on it. We don't ask.

scatteredlogic: Has been working on an Evil Romantic Song collection.

scribbulus_ink: Our Power DE. Runs here and there, spreading Evil everywhere, and it's quite satisfying. Her files on Remus Lupin are extensive, though we're not certain why Snape seems so interested in reading them all the time.

serpenatrix: Has a joke wand that turns into a cabbage. Shares naughty pictures of Snape whenever he's not around.

shagsthedustmop: Has been experimenting with something she calls "Sims DE". We're not sure what it is, but she's been spending a lot of time working on it. And giggling.

shezan: Has been researching Evil for quite some time and says we have a lot of catching up to do.

snapesforte: Has been developing a DE Gallery for her amazing portraits. Also, she and Snape have been missing for the past three hours. I wonder why.

straussmonster: Puts together mix tapes for Muggle hunting and DE meetings. We need stirring music when we're running through the streets, dispensing Evil!

subrosax: Has demanded that our next target be Pizza Hut, claiming that their Pizza Evil is upstaging us.

superbunny3000: Insists that we call her the Evil Platypus. Sometimes even wears a platypus costume, though she claims it's her "real" appearance, and her DE robes are the costume.

sylvadin: Has been hosting seminars with pen_and_umbra about making a lovely DE mask from leftover Ice Mice, lettuce, and glue.

tamony_lenore: One of our girls on the front line. Always ready with a curse or two. Especially fond of the Dancing Curse, which she sometimes casts on Lucius as a party trick, though he's rarely amused by it.

tapedeck: Is even now plotting a doom for our enemies that involves scribbling with a Muggle pen. Or at least, that's what she tells us.

tbranch: He has been working on a cure for Muggle diseases. Oh, no, that's not it at all. He's been drawing Evil Pictures. w00t!

themostepotente: Has been slyly writing little sonnets in honor of Lucius and secretly pinning them to his robes. Don't think I don't know.

todayiamadaisy: Has been demanding the destruction of the Muggle telephone system. I'm all for it.

trickofthedark: Has been handcrafting Evil Root Beer. Mmm. Tastes so...eeevil.

vanityfair00: One of the newest DEs. Wait til she finds out about the Snape closet. *evil grin*

violet_quill: Continues her surveilance of Remus Lupin, even though no one has asked her to.

undunoops: Causes mass hysteria with Evil Drawings. We have to be careful!

whitemunin: Is trying to convert us all to the wondrous Evil of a Muggle thing called a "Sharpie". Must look into it.

zakkati: Always the first in line for a bit of Muggle hunting, she brings her custom curses and impresses us all. Last week's "chickenus footus" curse was particularly amusing.

ETA: randomspectator is furthering her "powers in evil philosophy". "Woe betide any unsuspecting innocents I suck into conversation about the meaning of life!" she crows.

Whew!

Comments

[superbunny3000.livejournal.com]

yay! im the evil platypus now! behold my duck bill of DESTRUCTION!

oh and....

HAPPY (early) BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! i hope its full of all kinds of good stuff.
hows your eye doing by the way? are you all healed up now?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

When I was in Chicago I so could have used your Duckbill of Destruction many times over. :)