Stephen Sommers in Hell part one

[valis2]

For my Mummy friends here on LJ...


Part 1 – The Beginning of The End

SS: Who are these characters? They weren't in the first movie.
valis: Yes they were.
bookwench: Absolutely.
chastity: They were great.
SS: And their names are Chastity, valis, and Bookwench. Hmmm.
valis: Excellent names.
bookwench: Absolutely.
chastity: They're great.
SS: And where were they *exactly* in the first movie?
chastity: We---I mean they were behind a rock in the Med-jai scene.
bookwench: Absolutely.
valis: There they were. Really gave the film texture.
SS: Okay, if you say so. But I do have a few questions about their roles in the sequel. There seems to be a few...well, I guess you would call them orgy scenes.
chastity: Orgy scenes? I don't recall any of those.
bookwench: Absolutely not.
valis: There were a few...love scenes. You know, for the women.
SS: They seem to involve a lot of naked Med-jai.
bookwench: The more the merrier, that's what I always say.
chastity: This is Hollywood, after all. You need a spectacle.
SS: Well, perhaps, but I was hoping that the main characters would somehow be involved.
valis: You mean the Med-jai aren't the main characters?
bookwench: Blasphemy!
SS: Hold the phone there. Don't you remember Rick? The dashing adventurerer? And his lovely librarian sidekick Evelyn?
valis: Who?
bookwench: I dimly recall some sort of falling bookcase scenario.
chastity: Oh, the tart and the thug.
SS: Hey! Those are my characters!
chastity: Oops! Well, they are remarkably well written as far as tarts and thugs go.
SS: Look, I'll just forget you said that. But this next thing is really---well, I just am not sure that we want to exceed the PG-13 rating, and this would get us an NC-17 at least.
valis: Hey, remember your core audience here!
bookwench: Absolutely!
chastity: You have to market it to the ladies.
SS: Actually, my core audience is a little younger. But this scene involving Ardeth Bay and the lime jello---I really don't think that it would get past the ratings board.
valis: What?!
bookwench: Prudes.
chastity: It's very artistic.
SS: And the scene with the chocolate sauce is right out.
valis: What?!!
bookwench: No way!
SS: Look, this movie is supposed to have an Indiana Jones kind of vibe, and the way this script is going, it should be called "Ardeth Bay and his Love Tribe."
bookwench: Absolutely!
SS: NO! Not at all! This is supposed to be about adventurers and thrills and chills. It's supposed to be an action---
chastity: Wait! There's *lots* of action!
SS: Look, I don't think this is going to work. I really just don't believe that Imhotep would become a gigolo in modern day Detroit, Michigan, and that he would end up shacking up with a phone operator in Detroit.
chastity: But that was the best part!
SS: And Ardeth Bay would not travel through time to bring all of the---how did you put that?---"old-school" Med-jai back just to worship three women in the desert.
valis: It could happen.
SS: Let's just---just start the rewrites, okay, ladies?

Comments

[larilee.livejournal.com]

Now I would buy a ticket to see that and I like the first two movies. Imhotep strips, doesn't he? Slowly and with a surround camera and a sultry soundtrack... could we about 3-D?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

3-D, AND supah widescreen. *evil grin*