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valis2Went to Renfest today for some time. It was enjoyable.
Renfest Observations #2
(For Observations #1: http://www.livejournal.com/users/valis2/13745.html#cutid1)
1. Sir, I see that you are attired in a pair of leather pants. And, save for your strange leather shoulder pads, you are quite unclothed from the waist up. Let me just mention to you that perhaps this was not the wisest course, as your bare stomach looks large enough to slap errant children across the street.
2. Oh, you have had your bald head decorated with facepaint, sir. Might I suggest that you stop obsessing over your cranium and pay more attention to your tights? Oh, you like black and white faux snakeskin? Er...I hate to mention this to you and spoil your excellent delusion, but everyone, even the hawker for soup-in-a-bread-bowl, knows that you purchased them in 1986.
3. Ma'am, it might be a good idea to remove the crushed velvet tights from your wardrobe, or at the very least find a longer shirt.
4. Girl in Stiletto Thigh-High PVC Boots: You are lucky that your ankles are fairly firmly attached, because otherwise they would attempt to forcibly remove themselves in an effort to escape your quite obviously lunatic desire to walk across a multitude of completely uneven types of terrain in five inch heels.
5. I am so sorry to disappoint you, but a walking stick and a garland do not a complete Renaissance outfit make.
6. Spandex was not available during the Renaissance. Incorporating it into your garb is not recommended.
7. Stop torturing the performers, Loud Teenage Boys. One day they might come into the McDonald's where you work. And then we'll see who's laughing.
8. If you cannot keep track of the three orders that you have taken in the last five minutes, food-booth-worker, then you should invest in a piece of paper and a pencil so that you will not have to ask each customer six times to repeat the single food item that each has ordered.
Interesting things I saw:
Three different Jack Sparrows, two fairly standard, but the third was wearing a perfect jacket of white crushed velvet, and looked smashing. I should have taken a pic.
Lovely drum and dance troupe. Made me want to stay for the drum jam, but I just didn't have the energy.
An entire set of black-clad pirates watching a musician singing a lovely ballad. They were all swaying in time to the music. Quite moving, really.
About pumpkinseed oil
Purchased some pumpkinseed oil...for cooking. Get your mind out of the gutter, you!
Anyway, it came with a lovely little brochure that, once read, yielded a small amount of hilarity, so I will share it with you.
"Faa Vivasole Pumpkin Seed Oil
Who are we?
We are an Austrian company dealing with oil-bearing seeds (pumpkin seeds with and without skin, poppy seed) and different kinds of oils (pumpkin seed oil, grape oil, olive oil) both in Austria and abroad.
What is 'Faa Vivasole Reinstes Kurbiskernol'?
'Faa Vivasloe reinstes Kurbiskernol' is a Styrian speciality. Our pumpkin seed oil contains a high portion of unsaturated faty acids as well as the vitamines A, D and E.
It's Healthy!
Due to its excellent nutty taste, this oil is ideal for salad and different dishes. The carefull production process gives the pumpkin seed oil its typical dark colour and its inimitable flavour.
It's Pure!
'Reinstes Kurbiskernol' is called 'pure' because its quality is continuosly controlled by the public food laboratory.
Your Advantages!
'Reinstes Kurbiskernol' is a high-quality product with an enormous increase in sales in the food industry.
Act Now!
Our common plans for the future."
The pamphlet also goes on to mention that it is "effective" in dealing with "climatisation problems and changes of the connective tissue".
I'd just like to know how it is an advantage to me that this pumpkin seed oil somehow increases sales in the entire food industry by itself.
It is interesting that the world is comprised of only two parts: "Austria" and "Abroad". Makes voting easy.
Okay, I'd also like to know about "vitamines". They sound frightening. As does the "public food laboratory".
Actually, much more chilling are the only hinted at "common plans for the future", and how I am urged to "Act Now!" This must be some elaborate code, hidden deep within the brainwaves of all sentient beings, triggered by the purchase of pumpkinseed oil. Mine is somehow defective, because I have no new primal desires forming yet. Or maybe I have to taste the oil, and then it will unleash the truly heinous Common Plans upon the world. Actually, I'd rather have Uncommon or even Rare Plans, or at least Uncirculated Plans. Common Plans probably involve some sort of pyramid scheme and watching Cosby Show reruns.
Renfest Observations #2
(For Observations #1: http://www.livejournal.com/users/valis2/13745.html#cutid1)
1. Sir, I see that you are attired in a pair of leather pants. And, save for your strange leather shoulder pads, you are quite unclothed from the waist up. Let me just mention to you that perhaps this was not the wisest course, as your bare stomach looks large enough to slap errant children across the street.
2. Oh, you have had your bald head decorated with facepaint, sir. Might I suggest that you stop obsessing over your cranium and pay more attention to your tights? Oh, you like black and white faux snakeskin? Er...I hate to mention this to you and spoil your excellent delusion, but everyone, even the hawker for soup-in-a-bread-bowl, knows that you purchased them in 1986.
3. Ma'am, it might be a good idea to remove the crushed velvet tights from your wardrobe, or at the very least find a longer shirt.
4. Girl in Stiletto Thigh-High PVC Boots: You are lucky that your ankles are fairly firmly attached, because otherwise they would attempt to forcibly remove themselves in an effort to escape your quite obviously lunatic desire to walk across a multitude of completely uneven types of terrain in five inch heels.
5. I am so sorry to disappoint you, but a walking stick and a garland do not a complete Renaissance outfit make.
6. Spandex was not available during the Renaissance. Incorporating it into your garb is not recommended.
7. Stop torturing the performers, Loud Teenage Boys. One day they might come into the McDonald's where you work. And then we'll see who's laughing.
8. If you cannot keep track of the three orders that you have taken in the last five minutes, food-booth-worker, then you should invest in a piece of paper and a pencil so that you will not have to ask each customer six times to repeat the single food item that each has ordered.
Interesting things I saw:
Three different Jack Sparrows, two fairly standard, but the third was wearing a perfect jacket of white crushed velvet, and looked smashing. I should have taken a pic.
Lovely drum and dance troupe. Made me want to stay for the drum jam, but I just didn't have the energy.
An entire set of black-clad pirates watching a musician singing a lovely ballad. They were all swaying in time to the music. Quite moving, really.
About pumpkinseed oil
Purchased some pumpkinseed oil...for cooking. Get your mind out of the gutter, you!
Anyway, it came with a lovely little brochure that, once read, yielded a small amount of hilarity, so I will share it with you.
"Faa Vivasole Pumpkin Seed Oil
Who are we?
We are an Austrian company dealing with oil-bearing seeds (pumpkin seeds with and without skin, poppy seed) and different kinds of oils (pumpkin seed oil, grape oil, olive oil) both in Austria and abroad.
What is 'Faa Vivasole Reinstes Kurbiskernol'?
'Faa Vivasloe reinstes Kurbiskernol' is a Styrian speciality. Our pumpkin seed oil contains a high portion of unsaturated faty acids as well as the vitamines A, D and E.
It's Healthy!
Due to its excellent nutty taste, this oil is ideal for salad and different dishes. The carefull production process gives the pumpkin seed oil its typical dark colour and its inimitable flavour.
It's Pure!
'Reinstes Kurbiskernol' is called 'pure' because its quality is continuosly controlled by the public food laboratory.
Your Advantages!
'Reinstes Kurbiskernol' is a high-quality product with an enormous increase in sales in the food industry.
Act Now!
Our common plans for the future."
The pamphlet also goes on to mention that it is "effective" in dealing with "climatisation problems and changes of the connective tissue".
I'd just like to know how it is an advantage to me that this pumpkin seed oil somehow increases sales in the entire food industry by itself.
It is interesting that the world is comprised of only two parts: "Austria" and "Abroad". Makes voting easy.
Okay, I'd also like to know about "vitamines". They sound frightening. As does the "public food laboratory".
Actually, much more chilling are the only hinted at "common plans for the future", and how I am urged to "Act Now!" This must be some elaborate code, hidden deep within the brainwaves of all sentient beings, triggered by the purchase of pumpkinseed oil. Mine is somehow defective, because I have no new primal desires forming yet. Or maybe I have to taste the oil, and then it will unleash the truly heinous Common Plans upon the world. Actually, I'd rather have Uncommon or even Rare Plans, or at least Uncirculated Plans. Common Plans probably involve some sort of pyramid scheme and watching Cosby Show reruns.