The Thanksgiving Rant
Nov. 23rd, 2005 09:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valis2I was supposed to leave tonight and drive up north with my sister to spend the next couple days with my parents, but the weather is delaying us a little. We'll leave tomorrow instead.
I am very much looking forward to seeing the parental units. Thanksgiving is a nice holiday. It's nice to be thankful for what you have, and who is in your life.
My grandmother adopted a cockatiel quite by accident several years ago. It flew into her backyard, obviously confused, and she ended up bringing it in and keeping it. When the bird died, she got another one.
She does not clip their wings, which makes me mental. About six months ago the cockatiel freaked out (as it does every single time) when the phone rang. This time a door was partially ajar and she flew right into it, breaking her back and a wing. My grandmother was beside herself. We urged her to have the bird put down, but she would not, and we were astonished when the bird recovered. It will never fly again, but it does run around and seems in decent spirits.
Well, during this Bird Trauma, my grandmother bought another bird, because she couldn't be without one, and she was afraid of what would happen if the hurt bird passed away. But Hurt Bird recovered, so she had two of them.
Then she got a third.
And a fourth. Fortunately, the fourth turned out to be a biter, so she sent it back to the store.
She's eighty-three, stubborn, and the most passive-aggressive person I have ever met. She is torture to be around. So when we were discussing Thanksgiving, my parents said they would drive (FOUR HOURS) to her house, pick her and the three birds up, and bring them up north for the weekend. I volunteered to bring her back, but my parents said they would do it.
Anyway, long story short: My parents said the birds had to stay in a bedroom, because their house isn't birdproofed (well, my grandmother's isn't either, argh! I could say so much more about the birds, how she feeds them horribly (they eat people food all the time, and not fruits and nuts, but guacamole and whipped cream and foods that birds just shouldn't be eating), but I swear, I would turn purple) and they have built-ins that the birds could get trapped behind, and then we'd never get them out. Well, my grandmother did her passive-aggressive routine, and finally had a conversation with my mom last week where she unleashed her usual manipulative masterpiece.
She told my mom she wasn't coming. She was too afraid her birds might catch a draft (well, that is something to worry about, honestly). She said "My birds are my life. Thanksgiving is just a meal, and I'm not into food."
What she was really saying is (I know this because I can translate into Passive-Aggressive with ease) Beg me to come. If you do, then I win, because then you'll be admitting how important I am and how much you love me. If you don't, then I will secretly go to my neighbors, relatives, and friends, and tell them all how you couldn't be bothered to spend Thanskgiving with me and I had to spend it alone. Either way, I win.
Yeah, who cares about family when you have birds? Why be thankful at all?
I could explain further, about how she is as healthy as a horse, the kind of health that elderly people dream about having, yet is destroying it with horrible eating habits. She eats nothing all day, and then, when it gets into night, she eats ice cream and maraschino cherries and all sorts of ick. (Yeah, I know, I don't have much room to talk after last night, but that's only once in a blue moon, honest.) She makes her poor nutrition everyone else's fault, as everything is, because she "[hates] to eat alone".
I'm so sick and tired of it. My poor mom...she gets the brunt of it.
I am very much looking forward to seeing the parental units. Thanksgiving is a nice holiday. It's nice to be thankful for what you have, and who is in your life.
My grandmother adopted a cockatiel quite by accident several years ago. It flew into her backyard, obviously confused, and she ended up bringing it in and keeping it. When the bird died, she got another one.
She does not clip their wings, which makes me mental. About six months ago the cockatiel freaked out (as it does every single time) when the phone rang. This time a door was partially ajar and she flew right into it, breaking her back and a wing. My grandmother was beside herself. We urged her to have the bird put down, but she would not, and we were astonished when the bird recovered. It will never fly again, but it does run around and seems in decent spirits.
Well, during this Bird Trauma, my grandmother bought another bird, because she couldn't be without one, and she was afraid of what would happen if the hurt bird passed away. But Hurt Bird recovered, so she had two of them.
Then she got a third.
And a fourth. Fortunately, the fourth turned out to be a biter, so she sent it back to the store.
She's eighty-three, stubborn, and the most passive-aggressive person I have ever met. She is torture to be around. So when we were discussing Thanksgiving, my parents said they would drive (FOUR HOURS) to her house, pick her and the three birds up, and bring them up north for the weekend. I volunteered to bring her back, but my parents said they would do it.
Anyway, long story short: My parents said the birds had to stay in a bedroom, because their house isn't birdproofed (well, my grandmother's isn't either, argh! I could say so much more about the birds, how she feeds them horribly (they eat people food all the time, and not fruits and nuts, but guacamole and whipped cream and foods that birds just shouldn't be eating), but I swear, I would turn purple) and they have built-ins that the birds could get trapped behind, and then we'd never get them out. Well, my grandmother did her passive-aggressive routine, and finally had a conversation with my mom last week where she unleashed her usual manipulative masterpiece.
She told my mom she wasn't coming. She was too afraid her birds might catch a draft (well, that is something to worry about, honestly). She said "My birds are my life. Thanksgiving is just a meal, and I'm not into food."
What she was really saying is (I know this because I can translate into Passive-Aggressive with ease) Beg me to come. If you do, then I win, because then you'll be admitting how important I am and how much you love me. If you don't, then I will secretly go to my neighbors, relatives, and friends, and tell them all how you couldn't be bothered to spend Thanskgiving with me and I had to spend it alone. Either way, I win.
Yeah, who cares about family when you have birds? Why be thankful at all?
I could explain further, about how she is as healthy as a horse, the kind of health that elderly people dream about having, yet is destroying it with horrible eating habits. She eats nothing all day, and then, when it gets into night, she eats ice cream and maraschino cherries and all sorts of ick. (Yeah, I know, I don't have much room to talk after last night, but that's only once in a blue moon, honest.) She makes her poor nutrition everyone else's fault, as everything is, because she "[hates] to eat alone".
I'm so sick and tired of it. My poor mom...she gets the brunt of it.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-24 02:40 am (UTC)Did you know that avocado is poisonous to birds, Machiavelli?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-11-24 02:57 am (UTC)I could try explaining this to her, of course, but it will go over like a lead balloon, honestly.
*sigh*
For the birds
Date: 2005-11-24 03:54 am (UTC)Re: For the birds
Date: 2005-11-24 12:19 pm (UTC):)
Re: For the birds
Date: 2005-11-24 06:15 pm (UTC)...oh, wait.... "Never mind."
Re: For the birds
Date: 2005-11-27 01:48 am (UTC)Re: For the birds
Date: 2005-11-24 02:46 pm (UTC)And your icon is great!