Dancer's Horror: A Murder Mystery by valis2, age eight. Part Two.

[valis2]

The rest of the epic Murder Mystery follows...

Dancer's Horror 9 Suddennly Jenny yelled, "There's Mrs. Kristensmother!" Mrs. Kristensmother was Kristen's mother. We ran. Mike dropped his cone, so I gave him a lick of mine. Kristen's real last name was here...I will most likely never see her ever again, but I erased her name anyway, to save her the embarrassment if she does, somehow, find this LJ and put two and two together. And get your mind out of the gutter. Food is a big thing in my world, and sharing with my dream boy meant I was really crazy about him. And we get to see the other leg.

Dancer's Horror 10 After that accident, we jogged. Kristen told Mrs. Kristensmother what happened, and Mike was embaressed when when Kristen told Mrs. Kristensmother about how he dropped his cone. Whe all laughed and told jokes. But when we stopped at Jenny's house, it was burned to ashes! Jenny cried. Kristen told her mom to stop at their house. Uh, yes, after multiple deaths, the funniest thing has to be dropping an ice cream cone. And what a twist of the plot! Her house is burned to ashes! The tension just keeps getting kicked up a notch. And what's this with Kristen telling her mom to stop at their house? They're jogging! It's not like they're in a Hummer or something.

Dancer's Horror 11 Everybody's house was burned down. Everybody's except mine. So we had to live in my house. My dad built another, big part to the house. One day, Kristen, Jenny, Carol, and Mike got a letter. It read: Dear sweethart, We are your parents. Are house is rebuilt. I know you thought we were dead but we aren't. We will pick you up at 1:00, June 15. MOM & DAD Um...I don't even know where to begin with this crazy page. Obviously, though, I must have loved it at the time, because I didn't have to draw anything at all here. So their parents just let them live with someone else's parents for months, and let them think they were dead this whole time. I also find it remarkably suspicious that all four of them only received this one letter, apparently a collaboration between the parents. Or is it from...the murderer?

Dancer's Horror 12 We were so happy that we push two chairs and a table. I put on a tape and Mike put a cowboy hat in the middle. On the tape was a Mexaican hat dance! Whenever I get happy, I push furniture! It's a great high! Okay, a bit of explanation is necessary here. Some of you will be bewildered by this, but...when I was little my parents brought home a new stereo system, complete with tapedeck and turntable. My family is consumed with music. We are all very much into it. So this was a really big deal for us. We'd never owned a cassette tape before. Anyway, the system came with a cassette tape, and the cassette tape was labeled, "Mexican Hat Dance". Well, you would have thought it was a Puccini aria, the number of times it was played that night...hell, even that month. Even years later we would pop it in sometimes. It always seemed to signify some bright new beginning. So if your house burns down and your parents disappear and then months later send you a form letter saying that they're alive and going to pick you up on June 15th---now you know what to do. A Mexican hat dance.

Dancer's Horror 13 One day the man entered the place again. We had a plan, so we memorized it. Carol punched him in the stomache. Mike jumped on him. Jenny pulled his hair. I took his gun. Kristen wacked him on the head with a book. It's good that they memorized the plan. Imagine if there had been confusion on the part of Jenny, and she tried to jump on him at the same time as Mike instead of pulling his hair. I wonder where the stomache is located. In between the abdomen and the mustache? It's rather remarkable that such a stone-cold killer would be so obsessed with a tiny dance studio that he would keep returning. Perhaps he was a failed former instructor. And even more remarkable that not a single law-enforcement official has thought to set up a stakeout there. Anyway, apropos of nothing, the book is titled The Winston Dictionary. I have no idea why.

Dancer's Horror 14 The next day we were in the papers. The End! YOUNG KIDS CAPTURE CROOK! On the FRONT PAGE, no less. Or, at least, Mike is.

Dancer's Horror 15 About the AUTHOR valis2 is 8 years old. She doesn't like a lot of sports. She likes Animals, pictures, writing and forests. She started writing in October, 1980 because there was a contest for the best ghost story. valis2 didn't even join. Her book for the contest is called A Ghost Story. This just cracks me up. I'm such a nonconformist that I write an entry for a competition and don't even enter it, and I'm all proud of that.

Well, I hope this didn't burn out your retinas.

Comments

Live commentary on DANCER'S HORROR!

[gillieweed.livejournal.com]

CONTAINS HBP SPOILER!



valis27 : exactly.
gillieweed : ew! would you drink tea called "Lemony Gunpowder"?
valis27 : uh...no.
valis27 : The first half of "Dancer's Horror is nearly done!
valis27 : w00t!
gillieweed : what's that?
gillieweed : how about "dong ding" tea?
valis27 : ew!
valis27 : The eight-year-old valis2 masterpiece, Dancer's Horror! What, you haven't heard of it?
gillieweed : i never knew the title!
gillieweed : just that it was a horror story
valis27 : check it out! Part One is up.
gillieweed : on your LJ?
valis27 : yep!
valis27 : *gives link*
gillieweed : aw!
gillieweed : illastrated
valis27 : insane
gillieweed : the FRONT PAGE!
gillieweed : oh this is serious stuff
gillieweed : "What kind of insane parent would let their child attend a class where every other student has been killed?"
gillieweed : wizarding parents, apparently
gillieweed : sounds like Dance Class at Hogwarts to me
gillieweed : i think valis2 was ahead of her time
valis27 : haha!
valis27 : I think valis2 needed ritalin
gillieweed : maybe she did
valis27 : heh...
valis27 : we'll never know now
gillieweed : Mrs. Dancerteacher!
gillieweed : ROFL
gillieweed : oh come on now, tell the truth, valis2 really grew up to be JKRowling
valis27 : heh...I couldn't think of anything to call her. In the story she's "Mrs. Hagieual or something, but I don't know if that was the dance teacher's real name or not, and I don't want to take the chance.
valis27 : Heh...well, the first story I wrote was a ghost story, just like JKR...*giggles* *pops pipe dream*
gillieweed : yeah well i bet JKR wears jewelry made of polymer clay
gillieweed : wow donuts and icecream are really fattening in this!
gillieweed : is that kristen or carol who just gained 40 pounds?
valis27 : hahahaha!!!
gillieweed : does black currant iced tea sound good?
valis27 : Hmm...could be interesting, except I hate iced tea. And most hot tea.
gillieweed : oh well then!
gillieweed : brb
valis27 : okay
gillieweed : back
valis27 : hey there! Part two is up
gillieweed : oh yay!
valis27 : i know you were on pins and needles wondering how it would all work out
gillieweed : i was! i might have to go get some wine or something first
gillieweed : oh! she's skinny again!
gillieweed : or is that her mother--Mrs Skinnymother
valis27 : you totally need wine to deal with this insanity.
valis27 : I have no idea who anybody is, except Mike, the blonde.
gillieweed : oh then it was mike who got fat now he's skinny
gillieweed : oh yeah i see the dropped icecream now
valis27 : hahaha!
gillieweed : that's why he's skinny. he didn't finish his icecream
valis27 : hahah! He was gorgeous.
gillieweed : he's probably fat and bald now
valis27 : I wonder. I mean, he was gorgeous.
valis27 : and nice! What an insane combination!
gillieweed : for a nine year old, right?
gillieweed : I have to comment on this:
gillieweed : Uh, yes, after multiple deaths, the funniest thing has to be dropping an ice cream cone.
valis27 : ahahaha! LOL!
gillieweed : you see! JKR again. If Draco had been the one (he's a blonde!) to drop his icecream during a massacre, Harry, Ron and CERTAINLY Hermione would have a good guffaw
valis27 : oh, yes! And then they would have hexed him.
gillieweed : oh yes, in fact they probably hexed him with the droppoconia hex
valis27 : LOL!
valis27 : oh, that's great.
valis27 : But, as a slug, he wouldn't have been able to eat it anyway.
gillieweed : well that's true. it's an ill wind that blows no good you know
gillieweed : oh this part about the letter is hilarious
gillieweed : and i think Harry should have done a mexican hat dance when he got his hogwarts letter
valis27 : ha! I'm calling my latest chapter of tLS "Front Page News".
gillieweed : ROFL
valis27 : Which, coincidentally enough, is also the name of an adult bookstore here...
gillieweed : will Snape drop his icecream?
valis27 : haha!
valis27 : He might receive a form letter from Dumbledore...
gillieweed : i'm going to post a transcript of this chat as my "comment"
valis27 : "Hey, why'd you kill me? What's the big idea?"
gillieweed : be warned
valis27 : haha!
valis27 : Do it!
gillieweed : ok then!

Re: Live commentary on DANCER'S HORROR!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

haha! That was too much fun...I wonder if anyone will read the whole comment.

[charliesmum.livejournal.com]

that's just adorable.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

You're very sweet to say so! I thought it was a bit frightening, myself. ;)

[kleio-the-muse.livejournal.com]

Oh, I laughed so much! It's amazing how kids manage to adopt the genre, any genre, while keeping their own insane troll-logic intact. Yes, there must be people dropping dead left, right and centre, but there must also be a spot of comic relief, and what could be funnier to a kid than a dropped ice cream:D

And your comments were hysterical:D This in particular made me gigle quite uncontrollably:

Whenever I get happy, I push furniture! It's a great high!


*looks at flat in disarray*

"OMG! Have you been burgled?"

"What? No, I'm just so happy I can't stop pushing furniture!"

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Haha!! Yes, now there'll be a twelve-step program for furniture-pushers. And FPAnonymous. ahahah!

The other story is a lot more boring because it's just a story about a blizzard, and it doesn't have any deaths at all in it, unfortunately. It's rather dull. Though I think I might be able to think up so good commentary for it.

[agatha-s.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this! I was already a fan of your floating cats, but I like your earlier work even better. It puts me in such a good mood, I think I'll have to go and push some furniture. :)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Now all the floating cats are sulking. Their balloons are drooping.

:) Glad you liked it!

[zakkati.livejournal.com]

I'm going to do a Mexican hat dance just because I thought your story was so funny and very cute!

:)

Ps: Did I miss the floating cat illustrations?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Well, the original entries were here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/valis2/60342.html) and here (http://www.livejournal.com/users/valis2/60582.html), and I was going to post the story I wrote a few years later with them in it, but I can't find the notebook. I will look around again today, because it would be pretty funny. My friend blumsmile remembers it, and she howled when she read it, and that was right when it was written, mind you. ;)

[zakkati.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I love their little loincloths and the way they are all grinning and happy. Wonderful stuff!

:D

[valis2.livejournal.com]

It is pretty surreal, isn't it? I have no idea where it came from, but I spent a lot of time daydreaming there.

[gypsyjolie.livejournal.com]

OMG, sho cute. I love looking back at our younger selves like this. I have all my Young Author's books that I made each year of elementary too. Hmmm. Too bad I don't have a scanner. Thanks for sharing your 8 year old self - :)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Aw, you have to get a scanner!! Oh, please! Or bring it with you next time you come over. ;)

[todayiamadaisy]

That is so very, very cute! I remember a story I wrote when I was 8 or 9, about warring gangs of street children. There were 10 kids in all and they had alliterative names going down the alphabet like Alby Anderson, Brenda Billings, etc. My problem was that I couldn't think of a surname starting with "I", so I made one up based on the only "i" word I could think of... and thus Ian Idiota was born. Poor Ian. (Actually, poor all of them - they all died in the end. I was a gritty realist child author)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Gritty realism! Wow! And I bet nobody dropped ice cream cones after multiple deaths and laughed.

[aramintasnape.livejournal.com]

That was so funny! I think all my creative writing at that age was a bit like this - all mega disasters that end well. Your ending reminded me a bit of Scooby Doo for some reason ;) Probably because it always ends with the kids capturing the crook!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Ha! Too bad I didn't have anything about "You sneaking kids" in there. *giggle*