Mike Newell in Hell

The idea for this came from "Stephen Sommers in Hell", which I originally wrote after I saw the Mummy, and continued to write with bookwench2096. I'll find it and put it up at some point.

Anyway, the basic idea behind this is that three of us have been hired to produce a script for "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire", and the following is a transcription of the first meeting between Mike and us.

Inside Warner Bros: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire preliminary meeting between director Mike Newell and screenwriters valis2, aerynstales, and bookwench2096.

Mike: Hello, pleasure to meet you.
valis: Likewise.
aeryn: Yes, a pleasure, to be certain. *winks*
bookw: Lovely to meet you!
Mike: Now, we've set this meeting up to discuss the rough draft of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire---
bookw: Harry Potter? Who's that?
Mike: The protagonist. Messy black hair, glasses, scar on forehead.
bookw: I don't remember him.
Mike: Yes, exactly my point. This was supposed to be a script of Harry Potter's fourth year at Hogwarts. Yet the script was delivered to us with the title "Severus Snape and the Goblet of Fire". I thought it was a typo at first, but upon a cursory inspection I realized that the script, in fact, followed Severus Snape quite closely.
aeryn: And...?
Mike: *looks at the three of them* Don't you understand? Harry Potter is the main character.
valis: In your version.
Mike: In every version!
( Click for more insanity )