Not the best of days.

I'm freaking out at the new 6A stuff, worried that fandom is going to freak out and dissipate here on LJ just before we all need it most. I also paid for a permanent journal, and am now worried that I'll regret it.

Even worse, yesterday I did something unbelievably dumb.

I signed up for four Thursday night shows, and last night was one of them. Well, last week's show was horrid. The threat of bad weather ruined it. So I looked on the radar, and saw a string of thunderstorms moving through, and then looked at the city-specific forecast, and it called for t-storms at 4pm and at 9pm. Well, the show is only from 5-9pm, and there is a concert involved...and no one likes wet grass, right? Not to mention that it's almost a two hour drive, and it's $30 worth of gas, and I am ABSOLUTELY BROKE right now. Last week COST me money. So then I thought I wouldn't go.

But then I changed my mind. I looked at the forecast again, and it said there would be a few hours of partly cloudy weather in there, and I figured, what the hell. I might as well. My car's loaded already.

So I got in my car and drove twenty miles, into a windy, nasty storm o' doom. I decided to turn back, because the clouds looked like they went on forever.

I am such an idiot. I even looked at the radar, and knew that it was a strip of storms. I got home, and within minutes the storm hit, and then?

SUNNY. BEAUTIFUL. WEATHER.

And it was too late to go back.

I am so angry at myself. I need money more than ever, and customers knew I was going to be there, and I'm quite certain I would have had a few sales, at the very least.

And I'm depressed for other reasons, too, but won't go into that. Nothing RL, don't worry.

return of emo!valis

Yeah, you're right, she never really left.

Today's various and sundry:


• Went to do the post office stuff, and thought, hey, I have a lot of inventory in my car at the moment, I'll stop at this store and sell some. I mean, I didn't do the show yesterday, but maybe I can still get something going on my own.
  
  The store is located in a weird spot, so I turn into the business two doors down, and it turns out the business in between them is pouring concrete. Seriously, this is a crazy coincidence; it's the first time ever I've attempted to enter that way. I have the weirdest bad luck. So I have to exit in a place where it is nearly impossible to make a left turn, and then I have to go and turn around, etc., and I finally get there, and the owner isn't in, of course.
  
  It's really hard for me to be proactive about business; I hate being pushy. And every time I try to do something like this it never works.



• Mail received: Two charge card bills, a notice from the cemetery group photo competition explaining that the judging was rilly rilly hard and I didn't make the cut, a letter (and my check returned) from a show I was counting on that does not have enough vendors so is cancelled, and another notice from the IRS...apparently I've been paying my monthly installment on the wrong date, and now I have to pay two in one month. And, while not impossible in a normal month, this is NOT a normal month, this is mass brokitude month. Oh, and what are the odds that the payment is about what I made at one of those shows--you know, the one I didn't go to yesterday? Yeah, it's about the same. Great. Now I'm even happier about flaking out.



• The Potterpocalypse is nigh.

At least I'll see rook543 at the release party tonight.