A Guide to Writing Fanfiction. Part Two of Two: Mechanics.

[valis2]

• You Are Putting Your Work into a Public Space: If you are writing fanfiction to practice the skill of writing or to improve your writing skills, or to share your work with others, and you post it on the internet, then you have to be prepared for what comes next, which is interaction from the audience. Readers are going to tell you what they think about your work. You could receive compliments; you could receive complaints; you could receive helpful constructive criticism; you could receive flames (very negative reviews). Whichever sort of feedback you receive, you need to take with a grain of salt.
  
  Reviewers are just like writers. There are many different kinds of them. I have seen some of the most awful fics, riddled with errors, receive a comment of "Are you [the canon author] in disguise? Because I think you are!" I have also seen great fics get ignored or receive lukewarm praise. The important thing is to analyze the comment carefully, and see if you truly think it applies to your writing or not. Don't be too quick to throw it aside. If more than one review mentions the same flaw in your writing, you should definitely pay heed. Fanfiction writers and readers are a terrific source of inspiration and help, and they can really assist you in improving your writing.
  
  When I first began posting my writing publicly, I received a piece of concrit. It was short and to the point, and at first I felt rather upset, as if I was being attacked. When I analyzed it further I realized that it was a legitimate piece of criticism, and I did pay attention to it, and more importantly, I benefited from it, which is really my goal in writing fanfiction.
  
  I want to stress that if you're writing fanfiction and uploading it to a public archive, then you are writing because you want an audience to read it. By putting your fic out into a public space, you are going to invite comment. If you did not want feedback of any sort, you should not have posted it publicly, or you should mention that you are not looking for criticism in your author's notes.
  
  On the internet, there is one basic commodity: time. Time fuels nearly everything we do in the fandom community. Some people spend their time drawing. Some write. Some create exhaustive canon resource websites. If someone has taken the time to offer you constructive criticism, then be appreciative even if you don't agree, because obviously they cared enough to type up their thoughts and append them to your writing. Yes, there are people who take delight in tearing down others' writing, and it doesn't pay to engage them in conversation. For the most part, however, people in fandom are just trying to help.
  
  You can write the very worst story that has ever been posted, and you will get fans. Fandom is a huge place. But if you are always improving your writing, you will continue to get new fans. Good writing always attracts readers.
  
  For those who want to be successful in fandom, it's important to remember three basic steps. Finding your audience is the first step; convincing them to try your story is the second step; keeping them reading is the third step. If they comment, that's a bonus. It isn't a given.



• Who Wants to Read That? (Summaries): For most archives, your summary is the primary method of attracting new readers. A summary that says little or a poorly-written summary will turn people off. You want people to see your work, correct? Then spend time on the summary. Run it through a spell checker. Make it exciting, engaging, delicious. You need to make it so amazing that people will want to click on your story. There is so much competition out there that having a poor summary will hurt your chances of being read. Also, many people are turned off by authors who "beg" for reviews in their summaries, or authors who say they won't update unless they receive [x] number of reviews.
  
  You don't have much time to make an impact, honestly. When I browse for stories, I look for the pairing or character I am interested in, I take a quick look at the warnings, and I read the summary. If even one of the three is lacking, I don't click on it. Many fanfic readers use the same method. Definitely spell-check your summary. I cannot stress this enough. While most readers won't care if there is a misspelling or two in your fic, having one in the summary is a lot worse. It's like putting a suit with a ripped sleeve in the window of a clothing store.
  
  When you're archiving your fic somewhere, be certain to check for a posting template first. Some communities require word counts or genre. If you post your story without the relevant information, readers who might have enjoyed your fic could miss it entirely.
  
  Also, it's best not to cross-post your fic to too many LiveJournal communities. Most people I have talked to have said that three is the logical limit for cross-posting.



• Titles: A good title will say a lot about your fanfic. It will intrigue people, draw them into your writing. A good title will have layers of meaning that might not be apparent until the reader has finished reading your story.
  
  A misspelled title should be avoided at all costs. Proper punctuation is a must as well. The title is the first thing the reader will see of your fanfic, and if there are obvious mistakes, it will most likely be the last thing they will see of your fanfic as well.
  
  I would also caution against writing titles in different languages, as well. Firstly, the reader might not understand what you're saying (unless they're familiar with that language) and might not want to bother to find out, and secondly, it can look pretentious.



• Potential Audiences: One of the most common mistakes a new writer often makes is in assuming that everyone will want to read his or her story. Unfortunately, nobody's story will appeal to everybody. For everyone who loves Mercedes Lackey, there's someone who deplores quick angsty fantasy books and adores long, intricately plotted books like Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norris.
  
  Fanfiction, of course, is quite similar. Some people read epics; some people, only drabbles. Some people only read certain pairings, or only Gen stories. Interpretation can be another layer, as everyone has their own unique view of a character. A reader who likes Noble!Snape will not be inclined to read In-It-For-Himself!Snape. There are other reasons why people won't read your fic. Perhaps they're not drawn in by your summary, or perhaps your fic just isn't accessible to them.
  
  In fandom, there are specific groups--target audiences, if you will--of readers that are drawn together by certain pairings. There are people who read slash pairings, people who read het pairings, people who read gen stories, and people who read stories with original characters. Certainly some people jump in and out of groups at will, or belong to more than one group. There are some people in the first three groups who avoid the last group like the plague.
  
  Each layer in your story--pairing, plot, length, main character--will dissuade another segment of fandom from reading your piece, especially if you are in a large fandom. You have to work to gain an audience, earn its respect, and keep it interested. Good writing often crosses boundaries and attracts more readers. I would normally never read a story with Draco in it, but if one of my favorite writers writes a Draco story, I'm more likely to try it. Your potential audience can be expanded with exposure, recs (having someone recommend it as a good read), and just plain good writing.



• Know the Rules: Writing, like nearly everything else, takes practice. Misusing tenses, grammar, and all other mechanics of writing will bring your work down a notch in the eyes of those that care. There are levels of sophistication in readers as well as writers. Certainly most readers will not notice your continual use of the passive voice. The readers who do, however, might hit the back button.
  
  Once you're grounded in the rules, you can begin testing their boundaries. Breaking the rules can make interesting fics. It still means that you should do your homework first.
  
  If you're not well-versed in grammar and mechanics, you might want to borrow a book from the library or find websites for writers. There's a lot of help out there.
  
  You can break the rules after you know them.



• I Wouldn't Spell It That Way, Dave (Using a Spell checker): Using a spell checker is an important part of writing, but you should remember that it isn't foolproof. Spell checkers cannot help you with homophones. I once read a piece where the author had mistakenly written that the "mussels" of the horse flexed as she rode it. No, the horse was not an oyster/equine mix. If you have trouble with homophones, then a good beta can help. Also, programs that check grammar are notoriously suspect, because language is rather complicated, so it's a good idea to double-check their suggestions.
  
  You must know the rules yourself. You must have access to a dictionary and a good guide to grammar if you are serious about writing good fanfiction. A good Beta reader is important as well.



• Betas: You are the alpha reader, the first person who reads your story. A beta reader should be the second.
  
  There are many different kinds of betas out there. Punctuation/grammar/spelling betas, plot betas, canon betas, Britpicking betas. Some betas are good at it all. Finding the right beta is a bit tricky, but once you have, your writing can only improve.
  
  Betas can find and correct little mistakes that you don't even notice. Betas can also tell you more important things, like their initial reaction to a major plot point, or whether the chapter in question "works" in the manner it is meant to, or whether your story is dragging and needs to get to something major soon. Before you take on a beta, you should be certain that this person has the skills you're looking for. Look at work they've beta'd to ascertain their quality. Listen to their suggestions carefully. Their first reaction is very important. They can tell you what will be confusing to your audience, what will be jarring, and what its strengths are. Make certain you give them proper credit. Some people also like to mention in their author's notes that "any mistakes that remain are my own."



• Respect Canon: If you're writing for a specific fandom, then it is your job to know that particular fandom's rules. The source material of a fandom is collectively referred to as canon. Facts that are present in canon become general rules in fandom. It is canon that Severus Snape has black eyes. It is canon that Han Solo is a great pilot. It is canon that Gil Grissom is knowledgeable about insects.
  
  Readers will shy away from fics where Hercules has wings or Lex Luthor breeds chickens in his run-down shack without explanation. Readers will scratch their heads in confusion if Hermione suddenly knows how to fly without a broom, or if Ron finds a spell to raise the dead. Every fandom inhabits a unique universe with its own set of rules and guidelines. Knowing your fandom's canon will make your fanfiction that much stronger and will render it far less confusing to the readers. It will allow the readers to concentrate on your story. Yes, turning Harry Potter into a girl can be interesting, but most fanfiction readers are tuning in because Harry Potter is a wizard, and they want to see what sorts of wizarding things he'll do next.
  
  Of course, you can shout at the top of your lungs that "It's fanFICTION, and I can do whatever I want," but that won't endear you to anyone. The rules of the fandom universe are what make the universe that particular universe. If you obliterate the rules, you may as well write an entirely original "Quacky McDuck Sings the Blues" story instead of forcing someone else's characters to do odd things.
  
  There are lots of rules that aren't visible without careful reading or viewing. Severus Snape never refers to Harry Potter as "Harry" or "Mr. Potter", only as "Potter". The Hufflepuff common room in Hogwarts is past the kitchens. You should know to whom Clark Kent has revealed his powers, and you should read the Appendices of Lord of the Rings so that you know exactly what happens to Legolas and Gimli and Samwise after the War of the Ring if you are writing for those fandoms. It's also helpful to take a look through fan sites that contain guidelines and resources. In the Harry Potter fandom, there is an amazing online guide called The Harry Potter Lexicon that even JK Rowling has complimented—it's easy to use, exhaustive, and its very existence makes simple canon errors inexcusable. Certainly we all make mistakes, of course, but many can be avoided through the use of online fan resources. Look around, and you're sure to find someone who can point you to the best source. There are often communities where you can ask questions and other fans will try to answer.
  
  If you do feel you want to explore other facets of the fandom, then by all means, do so, but be certain to take the letters AU and apply them soundly to the description of your fanfiction. AU stands for Alternate Universe, and that is where you can invent all sorts of unique scenarios. Draco Malfoy in "The Prince and The Pauper". Harry Potter turned into a newt. Clark Kent as a Buddhist. Xena taking anger-management classes in modern-day Los Angeles. AU lets the reader know that the rules have changed because you're providing a new set. Readers rely on descriptions, and they're far more likely to give your fic a chance if you apply the proper labels to it.
  
  Whatever you write, be certain that the rules—whether they are canon or your own—are consistent.



• Voyage to the Core of the Fic (Theme/Plot): When you come up with an idea for a story, you generally think of a plot and/or theme.
  
  Plots are usually fairly obvious. Harry falls in love with Ginny, but first has to win her father's approval is a plot, if a rather simplistic one. As long as the characters grow and develop during Harry's quest, it can be turned into something interesting. Guinevere finds that Arthur cheated on her first, and vows revenge, but finds that she loves him too much to go through with it is a more complex plot. Not only is there an interesting twist, but there is a psychological element to it as well. Guinevere begins as a flat character, but somewhere during the fic she grows, because she realizes that revenge is useless. She has changed from the icy queen who vowed to destroy her enemy, into a woman who must understand that her king is a man as well.
  
  I fall through the mirror into Middle Earth is lacking something, however. Where is the change? What is the end result? What does the character learn, and where does she go? And I don't mean which locations does she visit. I am talking about the character's heart and soul. What happens to her in Middle Earth? How does it tempt her, burn her, heal her? That's a story people want to read.
  
  Generally, it's a good idea to have the plot thought through before you begin. Everyone outlines or prepares their plot in a different fashion, of course, so you should discover which technique you like best. I personally prefer daydreaming for days about the story, and then writing down every single plot element I can remember before I arrange them in a logical manner. Afterward I re-read it several times before pouring over it with a fine-toothed comb to be certain there are no inconsistencies or glaring errors. I then flesh it out a little bit more before checking it over again. Some writers, however, fly by the seat of their pants, or write out a much more detailed outline. The only right way is the way that works for you.
  
  Theme is a bit trickier. It can sometimes be termed as the "message" of the story. A good example is Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, whose central theme is of mortal man daring too much--daring to take the power of the gods (creation) for himself.
  
  There is a theory that all stories belong to one of these three categories: Man vs. Man, Man vs. Nature, and Man vs. Self. In all of these examples, the novel's protagonist sets himself against something else, with the plot slowly revealing his fate. A good example of Man vs. Man would be Tale of Two Cities, where the protagonist must struggle against his fellow human beings. An example of Man vs. Nature is Moby Dick, where Nature is embodied in the White Whale. An excellent example of Man vs. Self is Hamlet. Hamlet struggles with himself during the play.
  
  What does all of this have to do with fanfic? Exploring a theme can be very rewarding, and add another layer of texture to your writing. Even just identifying a theme can help set it into motion. I wouldn't quite say that theme is optional, really, but then again, not every fanfic has a readily identifiable theme. There is a theory that most fantasy novels contain a version of the classic Good vs. Evil theme, and some fanfic certainly seems to follow that blueprint. I have read fanfics with the theme of betrayal, the abuse of power, and redemption, and they are all better for having a recognizable theme. It can really enrich and sharpen your writing.



• Attack of the Plot That Everyone Has Already Seen: The very nature of fanfiction implies a set, finite universe. The rules of the canon writer have shaped the universe and the characters that inhabit it. It logically follows that if you are pairing two canon characters together, especially two popular characters, then many writers have already written fics around them. Sometimes it might be a good idea to check out some of the most popular fics just to see what is already out there. You want your piece to be unique, fresh, and interesting, and if it has too much of a similarity to a very popular piece, whether on purpose or not, people might not read it. And there are some scenarios that are written so frequently that they are considered to be clichés. A little investigation before you expend a lot of effort outlining and writing your piece can help you avoid an unpleasant experience.



• Use Fewer Words (Strunk & White): It's pretty simple advice, really, and certainly applies to fanfic. Use fewer words. Avoid repetitive phrases. Try not to include unnecessary dialogue tags; let your dialogue speak for itself. The more unnecessary words you omit, the tighter the piece becomes.



• It's All Happening to ME (Passive Voice): Most writing guides deplore the use of the passive voice.
  
  Active voice is rather straightforward. The narrator is performing every action and seems directly involved.
  
  Sari said hello to Chewbacca. Sari found a box of Pop-Tarts under the console. Sari ate her breakfast.
  
  And now an example of passive voice:
  
  Hello was said by Sari to Chewbacca. A box of Pop-Tarts was found under the console by Sari. Breakfast was eaten by Sari.
  
  As you can see, now everything is happening to Sari, instead of having Sari actually perform the actions. Even though these are extreme examples, you can see that the passive voice robs the writing of energy and direction. It's better to phrase everything actively and keep this energy in the writing.
  
  There are times where only the passive voice will do. Generally, however, it's best to try to avoid it.



• Trump Lines and Trump Scenes: A trump scene is a scene the author thought was so clever and/or fabulous that they had to warp the logical procession of plot to push it in.
  
  I've done it, definitely. The thing is, if you're going to do something like that, you really need to smooth things over, and make it fit properly. I've seen it in anime, where the artists really wanted to do this cool scene with water snakes/red zombies/glowing ponytails; in fact, I think in some anime films they simply illustrate a bunch of cool scenes and play connect the dots with the rest of the story, so the poor writers end up trying to figure out how to get zombies into the plot.
  
  A trump line is a little more subtle. The writer is of the opinion that Severus Snape is tremendously brave, and thinks that none of the other teachers really understand how brave he is, so she writes a totally unnecessary staff meeting where one of the characters stands up and says (while pointing at Snape), "I cannot sit here a moment longer and listen to that pompous windbag Umbridge when another man, with bravery in spades, sits here quietly." It's rather gratuitous, and it's obvious to...well, readers who pay attention, who will wonder if the scene was created to continue the plot, or just to deliver a zinger.
  
  Every scene should further the plot. The temptation to use a killer line or scene can be very great, but it should work within the constraints of the plot.



• The Gang's All Here (Every Character is in the Scene): When you think of a scene, it needs to be viewed through the eyes of all the characters involved in it. It often seems as if writers have the main character's viewpoint down pat, but the other characters wander about like zombies, with the occasional flash of canon verve.
  
  If Snape, Flitwick, and Hooch are having a conversation about Bludgers, then it needs to be analyzed from all three angles. You should look at it carefully to make certain that it makes sense from all three characters' viewpoints. Would Snape really be enthused about Hooch's speech about better judging techniques? Maybe not, if he thinks it will impact his Slytherin Quidditch team. Would Hooch care what Snape says? She probably thinks he's a stick in the mud. Or maybe she thinks he's dangerous. Flitwick might be thinking about enchanted toast. Each character is a living, breathing person, with many reasons and rationales for doing things in a certain way, and should be treated as individuals.
  
  Which brings me to another point, which is the continuing nature of the story. If a character does something risky, like try to tame a dangerous creature that she can't quite control, then the other characters are probably going to have their own thoughts about it. Some of them will voice their concerns, while others will privately say something to someone in a position of authority, or even the media. They most likely will not ostracize her for a single event like this, but some of them might speak to her or treat her differently for a little while afterwards, at least. People tend to remember things, and they store up opinions and thoughts. Characters don't always have enough room to be this complex, but they should definitely reflect the events that have happened in the story, at the very least.



• I've taken English classes/I read a lot/I am an English major: Ah, yes. The Curse of Consistent Quoting. I have definitely been guilty of this one. So has Sharyn McCrumb, a published mystery author. When I read the first of her Elizabeth MacPherson novels I rolled my eyes. Elizabeth was particularly annoying because she continually quoted from all sorts of odd sources, and she would get into quoting wars with other characters. Fortunately Ms. McCrumb somehow got the picture, and within a book or two the only character left quoting aloud is the character's cousin Geoffrey, who acts in plays (mostly Shakespearean), and for whom the quoting is second nature and quite entertaining. It is quite understandable that, if your character is an actor or writer or English major, they would occasionally quote something. Very occasionally. It is not understandable when it gets out of hand or it comes from an unlikely character. Too often it's "Look how well read I am!" or "Check this out, it's my favorite quote!", and that isn't as interesting to the reader as it is to the author. I wrote a "quoting war" scene when I was fifteen. Yep. And it was awful. I read it now and laugh, because it pulls me right out of the story. It's not something that almost ever happens in real life, unless you're in an arts program.
  
  The same applies for references to something really cool that you're reading right now. Look, I just re-read Lord of the Rings, and honestly, I was incredibly moved by "the Doom of Man" as being a wonderful name for, well, death. Don't think that I didn't have this amazing urge to have a character in my Harry Potter fanfiction use this phrase. But I know better. It would just be weird and jarring for those who wouldn't catch the reference, and pretentious to those who would.
  
  Also be wary of including different languages. If you quote in another language, many times it draws the reader out of the fanfiction in order to find out what the word or phrase means. I'm not saying don't ever quote or make a reference to other works! I'm just saying, work it in properly, and really make certain that it's a good fit. A properly placed translation is helpful as well, but even so, it can be annoying to try to look for the translation on the page. I've seen this quite a bit in fanfiction. Characters will suddenly say something ominously in Latin, or quote Wordsworth. Or Byron. Or some other worthy Romantic poet who doesn't deserve to be pulled out of his slipcover for this. I've read fanfics where two characters have a Meaningful Scene in which one blithely quotes Dante's Inferno and the other, without missing a beat, quotes Dante's Purgatorio. It just doesn't work unless it is very plausible that these two characters would be doing so. The thing is, in Harry Potter canon at least, no one quotes almost anything. I don't even remember reading any Wizarding "proverbs," honestly. And no one speaks in Latin, except aural spell components. There are exceptions—of course there are exceptions! There are always exceptions (humor fics spring to mind immediately). I'm just saying that quoting and alternate languages have to be well thought out.
  
  I would also mention that having your character curse in eight different languages after stubbing her toe is really unrealistic as well. I know a few polyglots, and I can assure you that I have never heard them curse in more than one language at a time. I would understand if she cursed in her native tongue while under stress, but it seems strange that she would curse in many different languages, one after another. Most polyglots curse in the language they happen to be speaking at the time.



• Sing a Song of Fanfic (Songfics): Music can be a wonderful companion. Many fanfic writers I talk to mention that they listen to music while they write. It can bring out great images, and it can also break you out of existing patterns and make you consider new emotions or directions for your fic.
  
  Sometimes a song will just click with a certain scenario. I've listened to songs before that practically write their own fics. In fact, certain songs will immediately make me think of a pairing or a scenario that I associate with them. That doesn't mean, however, that your audience will see or understand the same thing.
  
  To write a successful songfic requires several things. Your audience must be familiar with the song. They must feel the same emotion(s) that you do when you hear it. And they must correlate the same images/events to the song that you do. All of these things must align, and it's next to impossible. No, really. Songfics are a very risky thing to write, because people are so unique. One person might listen to the same song and have exactly the opposite reaction that you did. One person might not like that genre of music. One might not catch the connection.
  
  It's much easier to write the fic without the lyrics, and then mention the song in your author's notes, if you must.



• Where Is This Coming From? (Point of View): Point of View is one of the most important decisions you'll make in writing your piece. POV will shape your fiction and affect the end result, sometimes drastically.
  
  For fanfiction I think writing Third Person Limited (Rotating Characters) is an excellent choice for many stories. I think that it allows the author to connect with the audience through whichever character is being focused on at that moment, and it is a lovely way to create tension, though it isn't the only choice, by far. For those of you who don't know Points of View, I'll explain (very briefly):
  
  First Person POV is told through "I".
  
  I looked at Severus. His corset was definitely too tight, and one of his stockings had a run in it. His false fingernails were pasted on crookedly. "That's the worst tart disguise I've ever seen," I said, rolling my eyes. "Voldemort is never going to believe that you do this for a living." I frowned, wondering if my plan would actually work. It seemed doomed.
  
  "Lupin was distracting me," said Severus breathlessly.
  
  "I thought I sent him for a flea dip!" I exclaimed, putting my hands on my hips.
  
  Severus passed out.
  
  It has a strong personal feel to it; however, it is limiting, because the entire story must (usually) be told from one character's perspective. It's particularly suited to drabbles and short fics where you need to create empathy for your character in a short amount of time.
  
  Second Person POV is told through "You".
  
  You notice that Clark Kent is staring at you avidly, so you slam your locker shut. You've always liked him, but he's never noticed you before. Not until now. Not until you started wearing that glowing stone around your neck. Your phone rings. "Hello?" you say.
  
  "Hi, Sari," says a familiar voice. "This is Lex. I'm willing to negotiate."
  
  He must really want that stone. You feel a thrill of excitement crawl up your spine.
  
  People rarely write in Second Person POV, for the obvious reasons...it's unusual, honestly. And even more limited than first person. It's quite distracting. Even the best fanfiction can be limited by a second person POV. That's not to say that there aren't any good fanfics with this POV; just that they're uncommon. Unless there is a specific reason to use it, it should probably be skipped by a beginning fanfiction writer, or else the fanfiction suffers from having the feel of a Choose Your Own Adventure story.
  
  Third Person Omniscient: Now we're getting somewhere. TPO is told through "He, She, They". Tolkien used this. We see the world through all of the characters' eyes, and we experience their thoughts and ideas. We have an omniscient (all-knowing) narrator that helps us keep track of all of the different characters and the world. The author is a narrative goddess here, and can say things about the future or the past with impunity. The narration is not dependent on the characters; the characters are dependent on the narration. It can be great. It can also be complicated, and it can be impersonal.
  
  Sari watched as the orcs approached. Legolas noticed that she held herself with grace, her long hair flowing in the wind. She turned and smiled at him, feeling the familiar battle-lust. "This is what I love to do," she said. "Orc-killing makes it all worthwhile. It stops the pain, if only for a little while."
  
  "We should wait for the others," cautioned Legolas, wondering at her courage yet again, that she would attack so many at once. Her blades would serve her well in combat; they would cut deep and true.
  
  There was little tension between the two of them; they both sensed that this was a stand they had to make. This would make the difference between hope and doom for their friends. They looked at each other one last time, and respect shone in their eyes.
  
  The group of orcs was in a hurry, as they had been called to battle late. They were not prepared for the vengeance that ensued as Legolas and Sari flanked them and slaughtered them all.
  
  You see, the narrator knows all about what's going on. She knows that the orcs are doomed. She knows that Sari and Legolas will be unmatchable in battle. She knows that the road was the site of a battle three thousand years ago as well. She knows that Sari was born thousands of years ago next to a divella tree. What the narrator chooses to reveal shapes the story. The narrator is the master.
  
  I will skip over Objective and go straight to...Ludicrous speed! Oh, wait, I mean...
  
  Third Person Limited: Again, "He, She, They", but here we see the world through only one character's eyes. There is no overpowering all-knowing narrator. The readers only know what the character knows and experiences.
  
  Sari knew without even having to ask that Lupin was uninterested in her. Her clumsy attempt at asking him out had failed miserably, because he looked suddenly like a fish out of water as he stared at her, his mouth working to come up with an adequate excuse. I wonder if he's already involved, she thought. "That's okay, Lupin," she said brightly. "I know that you're busy. Look, I'll just see you later."
  
  "Sari, I'm...I'm sorry," he said. He looked concerned. "I don't want you to feel left out...it's just that...the timing is not right. Next week?"
  
  She realized that the full moon was tomorrow, and suddenly felt awful. One of her shurikins poked her wrist, and she shifted her arm. "Oh, next week? That would be lovely." She smiled brilliantly at him, thrilled that he was still interested in her.
  
  Here we experience only what one character feels and thinks, and what other characters look like they're thinking. We don't know Lupin's true thoughts, only what he appears to be thinking. Which leads us to...
  
  Third Person Limited (Rotating): "He, She, They". We see the world through only one character's eyes at a time. There is no all-knowing narrator. The characters trade their points of view at certain scene changes. (JK Rowling writes mostly in Harry's thoughts, but she does have one or two chapters that are looking through someone else's eyes, so in a very technical way she belongs to this viewpoint.) What's great about this set of viewpoints? Well, it is relatively simple and straightforward, but very powerful. The possibilities are quite attractive. In one scene, the male character can be thinking naughty thoughts about the female character. In the next, we see that the female character is angry, and won't give in, or perhaps she's shy, or perhaps she's already engaged, or she's about to pull out her shurikens. Tension results from changing the viewpoint and seeing the situation through someone else's eyes.
  
  [First scene] Han smiled. She was certainly sexy, and seemed to know her way around a bar full of rogues, but he knew he was way out of her league. "Listen, Sari, I'm real sorry for your bad luck, but I can't help you."
  
  "Then I'll turn you in," she said brightly. "Your ship will be crawling with stormtroopers so fast your head will spin."
  
  Han frowned. He wondered if she was serious. "Look, I've already got a cargo, and passengers. I can't take another on board."
  
  "You can, and will," she said. She looked so determined that he wasn't certain she'd take no for an answer. "I've got money, I'm ready to go, and I'm not leaving your side."
  
  [Second scene]Sari was so nervous she couldn't stand it. The stormtroopers hadn't searched the cantina yet, but it was only a matter of time. "...I really could use your help," she concluded.
  
  "Listen, Sari, I'm real sorry for your bad luck, but I can't help you," he said, smiling crookedly at her.
  
  Her heart froze. He was her only chance to get off this planet. Keeping her panic tightly locked up, she forced herself to look nonchalant. "Then I'll turn you in," she said brightly. "Your ship will be crawling with stormtroopers so fast your head will spin." Hopefully he wouldn't realize that there was no way that she could actually make good on her threat.
  
  He frowned, looking a little worried. "Look, I've already got a cargo, and passengers. I can't take another on board."
  
  She could sense that she almost had him. She put on her best authoritative look. "You can, and will. I've got money, I'm ready to go, and I'm not leaving your side."
  
  The first scene is told from Han's point of view. We see his thoughts, and we only see what Sari looks like she's thinking. We don't see Sari's true thoughts, we don't read her motivations, we only know what she's saying and presenting to Han.
  
  The second scene is told from Sari's point of view, and we learn that her threat is idle, and that she, in reality, needs to get off the planet now, and is panicking. The reader sees how Han is being played, but also sympathizes with Sari. The twin scenes give the reader more information and complement each other.
  
  The thing is, and I cannot stress this enough, if you are going to use this absolutely lovely point of view then you must abide by its rules. And it has one very very big rule. Stay in character, until the scene changes. Then stay in that character until the next scene change. And so on. This has to be one of the more-violated rules, and it causes chaos and sadness among readers. They'll hit the back button, especially if Sari has quoted from Hamlet as well.
  
  Here we have an example of the old Switcheroo Viewpoint Mistake:
  
  To say that he was angry was an understatement. Severus was furious.
  
  The girl in front of him cowered, her imbecilic hair color infuriating him even further. "I'm sorry," she said, shivering as she looked into his scowling face.
  
  He noticed her eyes, one red, one black, and nearly snorted in derision that she had dyed her hair to match. "You should be," he said cuttingly. "That was, quite possibly, the worst attempt at a potion I've ever seen." He stared at her with his fathomless black eyes, pursing his thin lips in an expression of distaste.
  
  She nearly started to cry. "I'll brew it again," said Sari desperately. "I promise it will be right this time!" She was frightened, and she nodded her head, the red hair gleaming in the firelight.
  
  "You'll do no such thing," he said softly, in a tone of menace. He could see her fright plainly, and it pleased him. "You will fail instead." He smiled wickedly, feeling triumphant.
  
  She felt as if she had been dashed to pieces on the uncaring rocks.
  
  This isn't too confusing, simply because it is too short, but the idea is there. Too much of this and the reader goes back and forth like a yo-yo. Somehow we are not omniscient (all-knowing), yet we are absorbing two viewpoints at once. We have both Snape's thoughts, and Sari's thoughts. Plus, as an added bonus, while we are in Snape's viewpoint we have him somehow describing his own eyes, which is rather silly when you think about it. Sari also seems to know what her hair looks like in the firelight, though she isn't looking at it.
  
  I am not suggesting that everything has to be divided perfectly and that we can never have a hint of emotion or description that is from or of the other person. This is where creativity comes in. Perhaps, if it is told in Sari's view, she could notice his fathomless eyes. If it's told from Snape's view, he could see the terror on Sari's face. The thing is he can't think about things that only she would know or be thinking if it is in his view. And vice versa. That is the crux of it. So many Harry Potter fics try to emulate JK Rowling, but end up with some sort of Pin the Tail on the Narrative Mess that no one except the author can puzzle through.
  
  I've pointed this out before to fanfiction writers, and they've said things like "I want to show what both of them are feeling" or "So? I'm writing like Tolkien!" If you wish to write like Tolkien, then by all means, use Third Person Omniscient. Just be certain to read about it! Know the viewpoint's limitations and strengths. Doing a strange version of Third Person Limited with Occasional Omniscience will only confuse readers. And if you want to show what both of them are feeling, then you have three choices: Third Person Omniscient, as described above, Third Person Limited with Rotating Views and write each scene twice or more depending on how many views you want to show, or realize that it's just too awkward to show every single person's view about every single event and that someone's viewpoint will have to be inferred from another.



• When, Exactly? (Tenses): I will only briefly talk about tenses, because it can get rather complicated. There are (in general) two popular tenses to write fanfiction in: the Present set of tenses and the Past set of tenses.
  
  Mixing the Past and Present tenses is very confusing. You should try not to mix them, as it's confusing and jarring to your readers.
  
  Present Tense: Everything is happening now. This is a very visceral tense, a tense that grabs the reader and pulls them in. There is a feeling of urgency.
  
  Every time Han sees her he wants to hold her, he wants to protect her from everyone else. But he can't. He can only watch as, again and again, Leia pushes herself to the limits and keeps the rebels alive and one step ahead of their enemies. He nearly growls as, yet again, Ackbar takes more of her precious time and resources, and he wishes once more that he could smuggle her away from here, taking her somewhere beyond war.
  
  It's all happening now. There is a sense that anything could happen. The Present Tense is great for short, stylized pieces, wonderful for creating tension and keeping the reader guessing. However, it is not the best choice for a longer piece. It's awkward to use to refer to events in the past in this tense.
  
  Past Tense: The most common choice. The narrator is revealing what happened, keeping us at a consistently moving point in the past.
  
  Severus woke up that morning wondering if this day was the day where he would finally be found out. As he dressed he wondered if this would be the last time he'd be putting on robes. As he extinguished the torches in his room he wondered if this would be the last time that he would leave.
  
  Dumbledore was waiting for him. "Severus," he said, smiling. "Good morning. I have some good news for you."
  
  "Good news, Headmaster?" replied Severus.
  
  "Yes," beamed Dumbledore. "There are blackberry flapjacks waiting for us at the Head Table!"
  
  He scowled, remembering the last time that blackberry flapjacks had been served. It meant that the Headmaster wanted something from him.
  
  The reader follows along as the narrator spins his or her tale. There is a little less tension; Severus must be alive by the end of this tale, or he couldn't be telling it to us now. But all in all it is the most-preferred tense for writing narrative fanfiction, and it definitely gets the job done in the smoothest possible away.
  
  I'd also like to mention that, if you're going to use the Past set of tenses, then watch out for the Past Progressive tense. It can be a bit tricky. It bleeds away some of the urgency and vitality of a fic. For example:
  
  I was beginning to see a pattern. I was writing a letter to Han about how Sari was bad news. It was going to be delivered by Wookie.
  
  sounds much more active and interesting as:
  
  I began to see a pattern. I wrote a letter to Han about how Sari was bad news. It was delivered by Wookie.
  
  If you see the Past Progressive tense, rewrite it in you head to see if it makes as much sense in the simpler past tense. If it does, you can eliminate a word and make your writing that much tighter.



• Who Said That? (Maintaining Clear Dialogue): Dialogue is incredibly important. Whole books can be written about how to write dialogue and use dialogue effectively. I will only provide the smallest outline here.
  
  Dialogue must be clear. That is the cardinal rule. The reader must always know who is saying what to whom. Here are a few examples of proper dialogue formatting:
  
  Sari frowned. "I don't like you," she said.
  
  "I don't care," replied Snape.
  
  "You should," she said, "because my tuition pays your salary."
  
  "Your tuition?" he spluttered in rage.
  
  "Have you ever played Frisbee?" She picked up a neon pink disk and waved it at him.
  
  "You obviously desire detention," he snarled, "so I will do my best to arrange one for you."
  
  "Aww!" she said. "You're not giving in to my spunky, feisty persona! What's up with that?"
  
  "Enough," he said in an ominous tone. "Out of my classroom! Out! To the Headmaster's Office with you!"
  
  Another rule to follow is only one speaker per paragraph. This also helps maintain clarity.
  
  "For a long time I wished I could get away from Tatooine," said Luke in a sad tone. "But now I wish I was there again. The arid land of my childhood...its twin suns..."
  
  Leia nodded. "I know..."
  
  He remembered that her home planet had been destroyed, and she could never go back again. "I'm sorry."
  
  "We will start a new home," she promised.
  
  Han waved at them both. "Hey, we need to get out of here! Chewie, start the engines!"
  
  Now the same excerpt, without a paragraph change for every new speaker:
  
  "For a long time I wished I could get away from Tatooine," said Luke in a sad tone. "But now I wish I was there again. The arid land of my childhood...its twin suns..." Leia nodded. "I know..." He remembered that her home planet had been destroyed, and she could never go back again. "I'm sorry." "We will start a new home," she promised. Han waved at them both. "Hey, we need to get out of here! Chewie, start the engines!"
  
  Without the paragraph changes, we're a little confused as to who is saying what. To the author, I'm certain it's very clear, but to the readers, it's a mess. We have no idea that it was Leia who said "I know". We also don't know that Han is saying the end piece of dialogue. It could be any of the characters.
  
  I have read many novice pieces of fanfiction where it was very difficult to puzzle out who was saying the dialogue. Why torture the reader? Make it clear. A new paragraph for each piece of dialogue, and a name if there is more than one person involved in the dialogue of the same gender. (Otherwise "he said" could mean both Han and Luke, for example.)
  
  Dialogue is extremely important. An otherwise excellent fanfic can be ruined if the dialogue isn't interesting. Having the characters repeat aloud what just happened is an example of clunky dialogue. Exposition and/or plot summarization can be tricky to write as well. The goal is to make the dialogue as natural as possible.
  
  Sometimes it pays to view/read the canon source again, just to understand better how each character speaks. If the dialogue is written well enough, the reader should be able to guess who is speaking without looking at the dialogue tags.
  
  Watch out for using too much jargon, or trying to shoehorn slang words into your fanfic. Unless they flow naturally, they will stick out like a sore thumb.

In Conclusion: Writing is only as good as the effort that is put into it. It isn't easy. It takes practice and patience. A musician does not pick up an instrument for the first time and play a concerto. They practice. They learn the rules of music. They practice even more. It's a never-ending process.

The results are rewarding. To look at a piece you have written with satisfaction, to receive a positive comment from a reader who really understood what you were communicating—it makes all the effort worthwhile.

Good luck!

We aren't paid for fanfiction. We write it and share it for the joy of it, for the feedback, for the chance to become better writers. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.

First version: Thanks to mortifyd for reading the rough draft, and ginarsnape for helpful suggestions.

Second version: Thanks to rexluscus for beta reading. Any errors that remain are mine alone.

Back to Part One

Comments

[jen-deben.livejournal.com]

I remember with great fondness and thankfulness how your POV section in the original article saved my hair.

Because I would have yanked all my hair out, while frothing at the mouth, if I hadn't been able to painlessly point the person was beta reading for toward that article, saying, "That bit about switcheroo viewpoints? Absorb that."

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank goodness for POV explanations!

I received the most comments about the POV section for the original version, I think. I know that it can be tricky, and I'm so glad it helped you explain POVs to the alpha!

[seaislewitch.livejournal.com]

Check, check, check...so far, so good!

Great essays! I've saved them to my memories for future reference.

Thanks for doing this!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, glad you enjoyed! I really love writing these, it makes me feel very productive. ;)

[sylvadin.livejournal.com]

I wish your Guide was required reading for new fanfic writers! Imagine the improvements in story quality over at fanfiction.net. (Then again, we might lose all those 'gems' we stumble across and snicker over...)

Meanwhile, I shall slink over to my writing corner and contemplate all the errors I've committed in my own writing. Gulp...

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we'd be so sad if all the horrors disappeared! I always feel better about my own feeble attempts at writing after I've read the masterpieces at ffnet. heh.

And your writing is wonderful! I lurve it.

[summerborn.livejournal.com]

What a fantastic guide! I wish I'd seen it six months ago :D.

I'm curious why you skip over Third-Person Objective POV? Just not enough interest for it in fandom?

I've heard a different definition for "alpha reader", as well. The "alpha" is the person I go to when I've got a fairly good idea of where my story is going, but it's still mostly just an outline. Same usage I've seen with software. I didn't know there was an alternate meaning, so this is an enlightening guide in more ways than one :).

[valis2.livejournal.com]

What a fantastic guide! I wish I'd seen it six months ago :D.

hee! It was here, languishing on my Livejournal.

Oh, and it's at Sycophant Hex somewhere. I need to send them the updated version.

I guess I was just lazy about TPO. It's not that complicated, but I think at the time I wrote the original I didn't see its use. Maybe I should expand and include it...heh, something for version 3.

Y'know, there are always differing explanations for things. I always thought OC meant Original Character, meaning that it was a new and original character the author wrote. Turns out there are a lot of people who think it means Other Character, meaning a character who isn't written by the canon author. Who knows, y'know? Both definitions are valid.

[gina-r-snape.livejournal.com]

Whuh? Huh?

Whoa, that was aaaaaaaaaaaaaages ago. So sweet of you to remember me. :-)

And very thoughtful of you to put so much effort into a guide.

Feel free to put a link on the TPMM links page to these if you like. (Don't recall if you already did).

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it was about a year and a half ago, but seriously, you contributed to the first version, which is still the lion's share. ;)

Oh, that's a good idea about the link, thank you!

[darklocket.livejournal.com]

This is one of the best writing guides I've come across in a long time. Seriously! *bookmarks*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you so much! I am really glad that it turned out to be useful. :)

[veradee.livejournal.com]

Here via metafandom. Thanks for compiling this. I'm tempted to say that I know the rules, but it's great to get them in such a condensed form.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Thank you so very much! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. :) Thanks for the comment!

[iamrighthere.livejournal.com]

Thank you for writing this. It's very informative and is rather like a mini online writing course!

I have just completed the first draft of a very long fic (about 100 pages). It is written in the present tense, which you indicate is not all that great for longer works. I do agree with you, but sometimes stories come out the way they want to. I just hope that I've taken enough of your advice about other things to make up for it.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Thank you for writing this. It's very informative and is rather like a mini online writing course!

Yay! Thank you so very much. I enjoyed writing it, definitely.

I have just completed the first draft of a very long fic (about 100 pages). It is written in the present tense, which you indicate is not all that great for longer works. I do agree with you, but sometimes stories come out the way they want to.

Of course. There are always exceptions to everything. It all depends on the piece. Most of the advice here is meant very generally. ;)

here via metafandom, take two

[toxictattoo.livejournal.com]

Well done! Very comprehensive and spot on. Thank you for this.

Re: here via metafandom, take two

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you so very much! Glad you read it, and thanks for the comment, I appreciate it!

[mythdefied.livejournal.com]

Here via metafandom.

Yay! A good writing guide I can link to on LJ! I'm glad I read through this, it prompted me to look up passive voice and relearn why it was a bad thing. That was always one of my biggest problems (that and the semicolon). Your section on POV is definitely going to be a big help the next time I need to point out the difference between "writing like Tolkien" and just getting sloppy with the POV changes.

Quick question: what about epithets? Do you have any advice on the use of those. Personally, I find them to be the Evil That Must Die in most fanfic, but there are differing points of view where they're concerned.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh, yay! I'm so glad you found this useful. I really enjoyed writing this, and it gave me a lot to think about with my own writing, as well.

*headdesk* I knew I forgot something! Will add a bit about epithets for version 3.0, hee!

I try to avoid them, myself, because I know they can be pretty jarring. But then again, I don't think they're always evil; once in a while it actually adds something. I think they're helpful when you have an omniscient narrator, too, because otherwise it can get too confusing. Though using any honorific titles in bed can be a bad idea (With surprising heat, the Headmaster kissed him thoroughly). hee!

[mythdefied.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's anything wrong with an epithet or two thrown in occasionally, it's just when people use it constantly in place of proper names that my head hits the desk and my finger hits the back button. And you're right, it's the style of narration that makes all the difference. Done in first person or omniscient is one thing and I'd expect to see more epithets in those, but when you get into the other styles, it's annoying.

I did a rant (http://erinslashslut.livejournal.com/68186.html) on it a couple years back. It's geared towards the Spander end of the Buffy fandom, but it applies in a general sense.

[athenakt.livejournal.com]

Ah, how grammar is frequently a source of angst. Recently I've read a number of stories which pulled off the Third Person Limited (Rotating) POV, but for some reason the stories have started to strike me as though they were written by two authors sending email back and forth to each other. It's driving me a bit batty that I can't figure out what makes some of those stories less obvious about it than others. I'm surprised you didn't make mention about some stories where authors write a scene from both viewpoints before going on to new territory versus just alternating the viewpoints with each new scene, especially with the examples you gave.


Regarding Third Person Omniscient versus "the old Switcheroo Viewpoint Mistake"- what is the biggest difference between the two for you? Is it the additional narrative about background and the like?

A great read- thanks!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Regarding Third Person Omniscient versus "the old Switcheroo Viewpoint Mistake"- what is the biggest difference between the two for you? Is it the additional narrative about background and the like?

The difference is the narrator. There are no over-encompassing narrative flows in the Switcheroo...just the feel of TPL viewpoints being mixed up. Tolkien really is the best example of TPO. When you read his TPO, you get a feeling for the history, for the characters, for the background information. The narrator can know the thoughts for all of the characters. There's a fine line between the two POVs, honestly, but if you're reading a fanfic where every scene has two main characters in it, and you read the feelings of only those two characters, and there is no other attempt at an omniscient narrative flow, then it's the Switcheroo. At least, in my opinion.

Personally, I like TPL better anyway. You can show a lot from the main character's view; you can even show things that the main character might not quite process, which really deepens the fic.

[snegurochka_lee]

I can't even begin to tell you how useful this is. Thank you for putting it together!

*bookmarks*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you so much! It was actually a very good thing to write...it helped me as a writer. When you're trying to explain something, you have to make an effort to understand it first, after all...ha! ;)

[lady-branwyn.livejournal.com]

Expositional block is so much nicer sounding than infodump. *grin* I wish this article had been around when I began writing fanfic because I made (and make) so many of these mistakes.
If I can, I ask more than one betareader to take a look at a piece because, as you say, different readers will focus on different aspects of writing. Anyway, thanks for sharing this article!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

We all definitely make so many mistakes in the beginning! And it's interesting how so many times we all make the same kinds of mistakes. When I was writing this I really tried to think about all of the things that I've messed up, and that was how I began the original entry. This time I just tried to add more errors. I should have kept the original title..."Mistakes I've Made in Fanfiction!"

[lady-branwyn.livejournal.com]

BTW, did you know that your guide was recommended over in the Middleearthnews LJ community? Go you!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Wow, really? That's great! Last time it was mentioned somehow in the LotR community as well...something called fourlobsters, I think. That makes me very happy!