I haven't done one of these in a while...
Oct. 27th, 2006 09:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valis2Behold...another TV Guide horror.
A wonderfully whimsical clock sculpture featuring the delightful M&M's Characters happily running their very own chocolate factory.
Any time is a good time for M&M's!
There's nothing as sweet as M&M's Brand Chocolate Candies! Now you can acquire a beautifully designed clock sculpture showcasing all of your favorite M&M's Characters working 'round the clock to sweeten your day! Presenting...the M&M's Collector Clock.
Bursting with scrumptious details! For your wall or desk.
This mouth-watering creation is expertly crafted of cold-cast porcelain, and the irresistible M&M's "Spokescandies" are meticulously hand painted in bright, authentic colors. The clock features a genuine quartz movement and runs on one AA battery (included). It will look great on a wall or freestanding on any flat surface.
A sweet price. Order today!
You can treat yourself to the M&M's Collector Clock for $99, payable in three montly installments of just $33 (plus $7.80 total shipping and service). Satisfaction guaranteed. Order today!
The very first line warns us that we are stepping into a realm of horror.
Seriously. Let's look at the concept.
First of all, the factory is creating candy-coated chocolates, whose primary purpose is consumption by humans. The factory does look very cheerful. There are five large candy-coated chocolates, and we see many small, happy candy-coated chocolates emerging from the factory door. Two of the factory's turrets are tiled with more brightly colored candy-coated chocolates.
This is true horror, folks. Forget My Bloody Valentine (which, coincidentally, featured a character who gives another character a candy assortment with a little something extra thrown in, if you catch my drift). We have strayed into a twilight realm, a sugary Soylent Green, if you will.
Let me explain further, if you haven't quite put the pieces together. These candies are marching to their doom, oblivious to what awaits them.
It's even worse if you consider that they are being driven there by their own kin. The five large oppressor candies are taking raw ingredients, creating candies, and then breathing the breath of life into them. Once they are mobile, they are used to help create more of their brothers and sisters.
And then the five Candy Despots sell their little cousins by the truckload, fully aware of their fate.
It's not enough, either, that the sweet, innocent little candies are sealed into bags and carted onto cold, impassive shelves to be snatched up by grimy toddler fingers. The Candy Overlords flaunt their power by tiling the roof with their minature companions, in full view of the workers. If that's not pure evil, I just don't know what is.
ETA:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jen_deben points out that there are poor souls nailed to the clock, whom she suspects were rabble-rousers who were Made An Example Of.
Even more ETA:seaislewitch mentions that The orange one in the front sort of has a grimace, like he's sorry for the sins he is about to commit. Orange has a conscience! Long live the revolution!
Other TV Guide horrors
Any time is a good time for M&M's!
There's nothing as sweet as M&M's Brand Chocolate Candies! Now you can acquire a beautifully designed clock sculpture showcasing all of your favorite M&M's Characters working 'round the clock to sweeten your day! Presenting...the M&M's Collector Clock.
This mouth-watering creation is expertly crafted of cold-cast porcelain, and the irresistible M&M's "Spokescandies" are meticulously hand painted in bright, authentic colors. The clock features a genuine quartz movement and runs on one AA battery (included). It will look great on a wall or freestanding on any flat surface.
You can treat yourself to the M&M's Collector Clock for $99, payable in three montly installments of just $33 (plus $7.80 total shipping and service). Satisfaction guaranteed. Order today!
The very first line warns us that we are stepping into a realm of horror.
Seriously. Let's look at the concept.
First of all, the factory is creating candy-coated chocolates, whose primary purpose is consumption by humans. The factory does look very cheerful. There are five large candy-coated chocolates, and we see many small, happy candy-coated chocolates emerging from the factory door. Two of the factory's turrets are tiled with more brightly colored candy-coated chocolates.
This is true horror, folks. Forget My Bloody Valentine (which, coincidentally, featured a character who gives another character a candy assortment with a little something extra thrown in, if you catch my drift). We have strayed into a twilight realm, a sugary Soylent Green, if you will.
Let me explain further, if you haven't quite put the pieces together. These candies are marching to their doom, oblivious to what awaits them.
It's even worse if you consider that they are being driven there by their own kin. The five large oppressor candies are taking raw ingredients, creating candies, and then breathing the breath of life into them. Once they are mobile, they are used to help create more of their brothers and sisters.
And then the five Candy Despots sell their little cousins by the truckload, fully aware of their fate.
It's not enough, either, that the sweet, innocent little candies are sealed into bags and carted onto cold, impassive shelves to be snatched up by grimy toddler fingers. The Candy Overlords flaunt their power by tiling the roof with their minature companions, in full view of the workers. If that's not pure evil, I just don't know what is.
ETA:
jen_deben points out that there are poor souls nailed to the clock, whom she suspects were rabble-rousers who were Made An Example Of.Even more ETA:
seaislewitch mentions that The orange one in the front sort of has a grimace, like he's sorry for the sins he is about to commit. Orange has a conscience! Long live the revolution!Other TV Guide horrors