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valis2- How To Tell If Lord Voldemort Is (Or Is Possessing) Your Co-Worker or Colleague.
- Always wears sunglasses. Even indoors. Even at night.
- From his job application:
NAME: Steve Sonotthedarklord
GOALS: learn C++ programming, network with like-minded persons,take over the world and kill that nasty little Potter boy,become Microsoft certified - Has an Access file on his desktop called "Walpurgis Knights" that no one can get into.
- Is often seen with coffee pot in the breakroom, tapping it with an oversized toothpick and mumbling something about creating a Horcrux.
- Hisses at computer.
- Has locked desk drawer that will not budge. Occasional thumping noises are heard from within, which he claims is his pet rat. Not certain if he's joking.
- Insists upon being referred to as "Lord Steve."
- Never seems to type anything, but his work is always done.
- Has been caught scribbling in a diary.
- Colleagues bring him tea with a spaced-out look in their eyes, and don't seem to recall it when you mention it later.
- Picture of snake on desk in "Friends Forever" frame.
- Won't let anyone touch his "special" tea cup, which, oddly enough, bears the initals "HH."
- Calling his voicemail yields the following: "Leave a message after the tone. If it's about the...thingy, then page me."
- Copy of World Domination for Dummies on his desk.
- Refers to colleagues who quit as "traitors" and often offers his services to management to hunt them down and "make them pay."
- Writes long-winded memos about the "purity" of UNIX.
- On casual Fridays, wears T-shirt that says, "Ask me about immortality."
- Often receives personal phone calls from a "Steve Snape."
- Prefers individual projects.
- Previous supervisor who criticized his work disappeared under rather strange circumstances.
- Only worked at the Help Desk for two days because a customer complained, saying that he had referred to her as a "filthy Muggle, unfit to lick our database's hard drive."
- Got very drunk at the annual Christmas party and announced to everyone that he can turn a mousepad into a bat. Attempted to demonstrate, but passed out instead.
- Fills out direct deposit forms, but HR is unable to locate the bank of "Gringotts."
- His screensaver is a slithering snake.
- From
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marginaliana: Has keychain that reads "Dark Lords Have Big Wands."
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 03:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 03:51 am (UTC)Does that mean "the Edge" is Severus, or Bellatrix? Hmm.
(no subject)
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 03:57 am (UTC)*cracks up*
These are great.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 04:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 04:29 am (UTC)He would probably arrange all his work projects to come to fruition in the last month of the school year, too.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 04:30 am (UTC)Imagine if they had some sort of Tri-Office Tournament...
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 04:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 11:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 09:15 am (UTC)No 11 wins! Closely followed by no 4 and 6. *g*
But the funniest thing is that some of those traits do really exist in the outside world. :-) Like no 1: people who think of themselves as super-cool and wear sunglasses on a winter night in the underground.
The world is full of Voldemort wannabees! ;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 11:18 am (UTC)The world is full of Voldemort wannabees! ;-)
That just makes this guide more relevant! hee.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 09:32 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 11:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 01:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-17 12:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 02:53 pm (UTC)Thank you, that made my morning.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-17 12:04 am (UTC)Now that I think about it, Imperio'ing co-workers could be quite a bit of fun...
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 03:03 pm (UTC)*checks reflection* My eyes! And where'd my nose go?
This was fantastic! I so appreciate the humor you've been leaving on my friends page!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-17 12:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 03:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-17 12:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 03:45 pm (UTC)25. Has keychain that reads "Dark Lords Have Big Wands."
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-17 12:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 05:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-17 12:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-16 07:53 pm (UTC)I think I should keep an eye on my colleagues. Especially the one with the maniacal laughter.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-17 12:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-18 10:16 pm (UTC)It reminds me of me when I was working for Xerox. So many similiarities. Ah ... memory.
;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-18 11:19 pm (UTC)Glad you enjoyed.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-20 11:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 02:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-20 12:08 pm (UTC)*uses your icon*
Oh, and here via hogwarts_today.
(Sorry for the double post. I forgot I hadn't picked the icon yet. Gah!)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 02:54 am (UTC)I'm so glad you liked them! ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-20 01:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 02:55 am (UTC)I have that happen sometimes, too. Honestly, even with my obsessive refreshing and my careful paging through the flist, somehow I miss things. Weird, isn't it?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-20 02:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 02:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-20 03:51 pm (UTC)Oh and I got linked her by Hogwarts Today. ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 02:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-20 05:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 02:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-20 05:57 pm (UTC)(and I read about the special tea cup and HH, and said, "...Horatio Hornblower?" *is slow*)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 02:58 am (UTC)I was a bit worried about Helga's cup, but in the end I decided to toss it in there anyway. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-21 02:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 02:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-21 02:34 am (UTC)*giggles*
I had a nice laugh, and am trying to think up my own to add. XD
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 02:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-21 02:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 03:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-21 02:54 am (UTC)This alone signifies Voldemort. =D
(no subject)
Date: 2007-02-27 03:00 am (UTC)