woe.

[valis2]

So I checked back on the loan, and the amount I'm approved for won't even make a dent in my credit cards. Worse, the payment for the loan would be slightly more than what I pay as a minimum payment on the one card I'd be able to get rid of with the loan.

I am well and truly up against the wall, my friends. I think I'll just be able to get through the next few months by the skin of my teeth--but my long-term plans are screwed. I've had to charge a lot of things this year, and it's now catching up with me.

The original credit card debt was from starting a business over ten years ago, and it smarts because much of what I bought in the beginning wasn't good merchandise. Now that I know what to buy and have a great source for closeout merchandise, I'm tapped for funds. I had paid off about one-fifth of my balance, and hadn't charged a thing until last year. Now my balances are higher because of the Big Trip earlier this year and the previous year, and a bunch of other stuff, too. I have paid a bit extra on it over the year, but not enough.

I was hoping to make a big dent in my cards from the fall season--but that didn't happen, because I underperformed at all shows. I think I was just above breaking even. I know there's a market for what I have, but this is getting ridiculous! I have some ideas about what I've done "wrong," but still, I'm just not certain what to do next.

Even worse--I'm in a vicious cycle as far as paying for shows, too. Only one show promoter I know accepts credit cards, and their shows were the ones I pinned hopes on and was disappointed. I have to pay for two shows (from different promoters) for next year, and I'm scrambling to come up with the cash. I have bills waiting, too.

I also have to pay sales tax for the blergh shows and my MI sales tax, too.

I hope beyond all hope that I've lost enough money this year that the government will not require taxes paid. I just can't take that on top of everything else--not when I've just paid off the 2006 taxes two weeks ago.

Yeah, I know, it could be a lot worse. Seriously. But that doesn't erase the huge load of worry I've eased myself into over the past two years.

Comments

[privatemaladict.livejournal.com]

That sounds extremely frustrating and scary. I guess that's the trouble with running your own business - you don't get the security of a regular slary. I hope things pick up for you next year!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yeah, if I could budget, this might be a little easier--but it's hard to budget when the figures are so nebulous, y'know? *hugs* Thanks, sweetie!