There are times
Jan. 12th, 2008 02:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valis2when I want to switch lives.
Sometimes I get jealous of other people who have sane, responsible adult lives. No, really. I am a total grasshopper, out in the sun and the snow, and worse yet, it's my own thinking and actions that have gotten me here.
I am really trying to make a life, and it's not working out, and I'm starting to see that I have some issues that are thwarting me.
I was home for FOUR MONTHS STRAIGHT. What did I accomplish? Nothing beyond what I absolutely, positively had to do. I wasted a lot of time. My website is STILL not operational, and it's been five years! I have three years' worth of clothes and shoes (nice-quality) to sell on eBay--and I didn't list a thing!
I am totally procrastinating.
It's time to draw the line and make my life. I have less than a year before I attempt to buy a house. I must get my website going. Cafépress. EBay the clothing/shoes. And now I want to work on an Etsy shop. I meant to work on my children's series, and nothing happened. I wanted to at least write a chapter, if not two or three, for tLS.
All of those things I've been meaning to do MUST BE DONE so that I can see what my income level becomes with all things running concurrently. I absolutely must bring in at least $400 more per month than I'm making now. And I really want that house.
(Yeah, I did drag some videogame stuff out and sell it. And I did get ready to sell clothing, but didn't sell any. I'm pretty disappointed in myself--I did my usual, and not much more.)
I need to drag myself out of the credit card hole.
I need to get into a regular work schedule. My mind just cannot grasp this--I do have periods where I work like a crazy person, and then, almost as a spiteful thing, my mind rebells when I get home, and wants to play on the internet. It wants to jump from thing to thing, and if it doesn't feel like doing what I must do, it gets pouty, and disoriented, and I sit at my crafting desk and stare at things and get nothing whatsoever done.
How do people get past their own roadblocks? I haven't a clue. When all is said and done, I do work 40+ every week, but I should do more, definitely. And I must do more. I must get super organized so that I stop making stupid mistakes (or at least fewer stupid mistakes) and I have to try to pay attention.
The usual valis method:
1.) Have to do something? Okay, I will sit and think about it and think about it, trying to understand the whole situation so that I can attack it in the best, most efficient manner.
2.) Let's see...the job consists of parts A through G.
3.) Hmm. There are other things I must do in order to complete parts B and G. Therefore I will not start the project until I have B and G ready to go. Otherwise I will have half-finished things lying around, which I hate.
4.) Hmm. Part C isn't quite efficient enough. Something might break/fail. Must put everything on the backburner so that my mind can solve it later.
5.) Thinking about part C.
6.) Distracted (from one day to three years); might possibly complete part B and/or G, but probably not.
7.) MUST DO PROJECT. Time is almost up.
8.) Thinking about the project anew.
9.) Hmm. Must do things in order to complete parts B and G. (Finishes what is left)
10.) Hmm. Part C. Fucking bastard part C. I hate you.
11.) Asks family and friends for advice. Is dissatisfied--everyone has thought of the same solutions.
12.) DEADLINE LOOMS.
13.) Works on parts A through G in scattered fashion--completing parts A and D, then running to G, then back to B, then back to G, and so on, leaving C until last because I'm still freaking out about it.
14.) Frantically finishes everything, and works on part C in haphazard manner.
15.) Everything is finished, but contains stupid mistakes.
I am a procrastinating perfectionist, I have a touch of OCD, and my mind is constantly distracting me. Yes, I can focus sometimes, and I do--I'm able to do really boring detailed work when I'm at my day job for eight hours at a time--but at home? Argh! I just can't get back into a rhythm.
I think I'm just so used to dashing about in between time away that I have no idea how to work out my schedule when I'm home.
Now I'll try to think of positive things. I don't want to make myself obsess over the negative things. I have managed to get rid of three giant boxes of video game stuff, I've managed to prepare enough for the clothing listings that I will be able to list them as soon as I get home, I have sorted some merchandise I needed to sort (2/3 done, I'd say) and am ready for spring shows, I actually have sent off applications for spring shows, and I've managed to find a pair of shoes. And I put together an entire dress outfit for a wedding I went to in December. And I did shows while I was home, and I crafted several items, and I had a giveaway on the LJ, and I cleaned out bookcases because of the water leak. I also now have a new DVD player for the office, so theoretically I'll be able to craft and watch DVDs and not obsess so much over the crappy cable. And I am getting a new car stereo installed on Monday and new brakes on Tuesday, which I really need. I have made a little bit of progress on the children's series.
Thanks for letting me rant, flist. I needed that.
Sometimes I get jealous of other people who have sane, responsible adult lives. No, really. I am a total grasshopper, out in the sun and the snow, and worse yet, it's my own thinking and actions that have gotten me here.
I am really trying to make a life, and it's not working out, and I'm starting to see that I have some issues that are thwarting me.
I was home for FOUR MONTHS STRAIGHT. What did I accomplish? Nothing beyond what I absolutely, positively had to do. I wasted a lot of time. My website is STILL not operational, and it's been five years! I have three years' worth of clothes and shoes (nice-quality) to sell on eBay--and I didn't list a thing!
I am totally procrastinating.
It's time to draw the line and make my life. I have less than a year before I attempt to buy a house. I must get my website going. Cafépress. EBay the clothing/shoes. And now I want to work on an Etsy shop. I meant to work on my children's series, and nothing happened. I wanted to at least write a chapter, if not two or three, for tLS.
All of those things I've been meaning to do MUST BE DONE so that I can see what my income level becomes with all things running concurrently. I absolutely must bring in at least $400 more per month than I'm making now. And I really want that house.
(Yeah, I did drag some videogame stuff out and sell it. And I did get ready to sell clothing, but didn't sell any. I'm pretty disappointed in myself--I did my usual, and not much more.)
I need to drag myself out of the credit card hole.
I need to get into a regular work schedule. My mind just cannot grasp this--I do have periods where I work like a crazy person, and then, almost as a spiteful thing, my mind rebells when I get home, and wants to play on the internet. It wants to jump from thing to thing, and if it doesn't feel like doing what I must do, it gets pouty, and disoriented, and I sit at my crafting desk and stare at things and get nothing whatsoever done.
How do people get past their own roadblocks? I haven't a clue. When all is said and done, I do work 40+ every week, but I should do more, definitely. And I must do more. I must get super organized so that I stop making stupid mistakes (or at least fewer stupid mistakes) and I have to try to pay attention.
The usual valis method:
1.) Have to do something? Okay, I will sit and think about it and think about it, trying to understand the whole situation so that I can attack it in the best, most efficient manner.
2.) Let's see...the job consists of parts A through G.
3.) Hmm. There are other things I must do in order to complete parts B and G. Therefore I will not start the project until I have B and G ready to go. Otherwise I will have half-finished things lying around, which I hate.
4.) Hmm. Part C isn't quite efficient enough. Something might break/fail. Must put everything on the backburner so that my mind can solve it later.
5.) Thinking about part C.
6.) Distracted (from one day to three years); might possibly complete part B and/or G, but probably not.
7.) MUST DO PROJECT. Time is almost up.
8.) Thinking about the project anew.
9.) Hmm. Must do things in order to complete parts B and G. (Finishes what is left)
10.) Hmm. Part C. Fucking bastard part C. I hate you.
11.) Asks family and friends for advice. Is dissatisfied--everyone has thought of the same solutions.
12.) DEADLINE LOOMS.
13.) Works on parts A through G in scattered fashion--completing parts A and D, then running to G, then back to B, then back to G, and so on, leaving C until last because I'm still freaking out about it.
14.) Frantically finishes everything, and works on part C in haphazard manner.
15.) Everything is finished, but contains stupid mistakes.
I am a procrastinating perfectionist, I have a touch of OCD, and my mind is constantly distracting me. Yes, I can focus sometimes, and I do--I'm able to do really boring detailed work when I'm at my day job for eight hours at a time--but at home? Argh! I just can't get back into a rhythm.
I think I'm just so used to dashing about in between time away that I have no idea how to work out my schedule when I'm home.
Now I'll try to think of positive things. I don't want to make myself obsess over the negative things. I have managed to get rid of three giant boxes of video game stuff, I've managed to prepare enough for the clothing listings that I will be able to list them as soon as I get home, I have sorted some merchandise I needed to sort (2/3 done, I'd say) and am ready for spring shows, I actually have sent off applications for spring shows, and I've managed to find a pair of shoes. And I put together an entire dress outfit for a wedding I went to in December. And I did shows while I was home, and I crafted several items, and I had a giveaway on the LJ, and I cleaned out bookcases because of the water leak. I also now have a new DVD player for the office, so theoretically I'll be able to craft and watch DVDs and not obsess so much over the crappy cable. And I am getting a new car stereo installed on Monday and new brakes on Tuesday, which I really need. I have made a little bit of progress on the children's series.
Thanks for letting me rant, flist. I needed that.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-12 11:17 pm (UTC)Last year I made a concerted effort to get myself organised. Someone recommended Dave Allen's Getting Things Done, and it was useful. Not the whole system (Me maintaining 43 organising folders? That will never happen.), but the general process of collecting and reviewing and breaking things down to the next basic task is great. It's worth a read if you can find it.
The thing I find most helpful is every night to write a list of three things that I'm going to do the next day, things that I would be disappointed if I hadn't done by the time I went to bed the next night. Today's list, for example, is to go for a bike ride, finish my library book so I can return it tomorrow and update my wall calendar (today being Sunday, it's a relaxed list). And then I just have to make sure I do those things; if I do anything else, I write it down in the next column, so at the end of the day I can see that I did actually achieve something. :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-13 12:14 am (UTC)That sounds interesting. Franklin Planner used to be the go-to organizational system, but I find that it only lasts a month with me; I hate investing so much time in writing everything up. Eventually it falls by the wayside.
The thing I find most helpful is every night to write a list of three things that I'm going to do the next day, things that I would be disappointed if I hadn't done by the time I went to bed the next night.
I remember when you were first talking about that system--it still intrigues me. I like that idea, too. I really need to look at what I'm doing and start working my schedule around it so that I can have some time to waste and some time to work. The wasted time keeps flowing right over the working time!
(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-13 02:23 am (UTC)Yes, I could see that being a problem with the Getting Things Done method as well. When I was reading about it last year, I found a number of blogs dedicated to tracking how well their GTD system was going, as opposed to whatever Things they were actually meant to be Getting Done. I felt they were kind of missing the point - the system should be the means, not the end, you know? :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-01-13 05:05 am (UTC)BTW, I'm going to be starting up an Etsy site, too! I'd been meaning to ask you if you had one given that you do a lot of eBaying.