Since I crave interaction, you all must amuse me

[valis2]

So I was thinking about the service industry. Specifically, waitressing.

I've long been fascinated with waiters and waitresses. The profession is pretty thankless in many ways, and I'm endlessly interested in the whys and hows and what happens behind the scenes. Whenever I find out that someone has been in the service industry, I drive them nuts with questions.

(I could never be a waitress, because my short term memory is horrid. And I don't have the patience.)

So I was telling subrosax all about my worst experiences in a restaurant, and then I thought, hey, I have a LJ! I can have all the conversations about waiting that I want. Heh.

And there are two sides, of course. We can talk about the worst experiences you've had as a patron--and the worst experiences you've had as a server! Glee!

Horror Story #1 (or That Poor Waitress): Several years ago I was engaged to a guy I'll call Ricky. Ricky and I used to eat out quite a bit, and sometimes we would eat out with another couple...I'll call them Fred and Ethel.

After a few meals together, I realized that they were the worst tippers. No, really. My personal philosophy for tipping is: 20% is the standard. 15% if the waitress (and not the cook, etc.) was really incompetent (for example, not writing down a complicated order and then screwing it up). 10% if the waitress is absolutely horrific (this has only happened...twice?). Sometimes I'll give 25% if it was great.

Anyway, they only gave about 5-10%. Every time. At first I thought it was a fluke, but then I realized it wasn't. And we kept getting one check for the four of us, and they would (in essence) use our tip money to pay for part of their meal.

So we went out for Fred's birthday. We were all in a good mood. We went to TGIF, and, as we were all big people, we ordered lots of food. And liquor. You know, two appetizers, four entrées, multiple drinks per person, and dessert. And, because it was Fred's birthday, there was the obligatory hellish song for the waitstaff.

Now, by this time I was starting to understand how high maintenance Ethel was. She would ask (in her very girlish soft voice) for pop with no ice. And then make a big eye-rolling display when the server would forget and put ice in it. Everything had to be just so. And it was especially frustrating because half of the time the servers couldn't even hear what she was asking for. And she required constant refills.

So as the meal progresses, I'm feeling worse and worse for the harried waitress. It's Saturday night, the place is packed, she has to orchestrate the Birthday Hellishness, and they're both being demanding. I mean, seriously. The kind of demanding that I know must drive servers crazy--you know, where they get something for you, and when they give it to you, you ask for something else, and then when they give that to you, they ask for something else, and on and on.

They both order steak and alcoholic drinks. Ricky and I order much cheaper entrées because we're both pretty much broke. We order an appetizer to split as well, and a dessert to split.

The check comes. It works out to about $80 or so. We put in our share, and they take the money, do their figuring, and leave $84.

No, seriously. $84. Barely five percent for the server who worked her ass off for an hour and twenty minutes.

So I pretend that I'm hitting the restroom, and I run up to the waitress and give her my last five dollars, my only money until payday. "I'm so sorry about the tip," I say. She nods wearily.

After that? Separate checks.

Horror Story #2: I went to Ruby Tuesdays with one of my co-workers. I'll call him Phil.

We used to eat at that RT constantly--probably three or four times a week. We were seated, and the waitress came up.

Phil asked for two large glasses of water. He drank tons of water with each meal, and it was a pain in the ass to find the waitress for constant refills, so he always asked for two glasses instead.

The waitress argued with him.

He asked again.

At this point, most waitresses would just give in--it's not worth it to keep going, y'know? Unless there's a policy or something. Yet again she argued. Finally, she told him that she would bring him one glass, and that she would be refilling the water all the time. He conceded.

We placed our order.

She brought out the drinks, and wasn't very pleasant--I can't remember what happened, exactly, except she had a sour face and wasn't happy.

That was the last I saw of her. She never came out again. Nope. None of the fabled refills occurred. Food runners brought our food. We couldn't even find someone to get us a check, and after over an hour, we just guessed how much the food cost and left that.

Please, please, please share your horror stories! I would love to hear them.

Comments

[gmth.livejournal.com]

My worst restaurant experience was at a TGIF. Something was wrong with the waitress; I never found out what. But the meal lasted for HOURS because she kept disappearing. Seriously, we waited 45 minutes just for dessert. When the check came, I whipped out my credit card before she'd even turned her back, said, "Here, take it!" but she walked away. We never saw her again. I finally had to chase down the manager, who sent two other servers through the whole restaurant to find our waitress to take the check. When they couldn't find her (15 minutes later), I begged the manager to take the check for us so we could just get the hell out of there. He comped the check for us and gave us two coupons for free desserts the next time we went there. This was about two years ago and I still have the coupons in my wallet. We'll never go there again.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

My worst restaurant experience was at a TGIF. Something was wrong with the waitress; I never found out what. But the meal lasted for HOURS because she kept disappearing. Seriously, we waited 45 minutes just for dessert.

Those situations make me crazy. I've had a couple meals linger into the two, nearly three hour range because of a tardy server. It's so strange--you can't find them at all anywhere, you can't see them even serving other people, and you just want to scream! Where do they go? lol.

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

Well, to add to the shocking experiences, here in Germany a meal lasts much longer than in the US. The waiter won't bring you the check unless you wave them down and ask. They won't ask you if you want anything else while you still spoon in your last bit of desert. It's considered impolite, as if they'd rush you out. They'll pretty much leave you alone unless you wave.
I've been out with Americans who where shocked that no-one appeared and asked if they wanted the check or anything else to order.
On the other hand Europeans in the US always feel pushed when the waiter brings the check unasked for, or whips away your plates when your fork is still in your mouth.

It's a cultural thing.

On the other hand, when you're in a hurry, it can take ages to flag down a waiter if the place is crowded. I hate that, too.

I try to remember when I had that one waiter who tipped half a glass of apple juice over my leg and didn't even apologize or do anything about it. You can guess how much tip that was worth. I would have deduced from the check if I could have. Can't remember when that was now. I probably suppressed the memory.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

That's really interesting!

I generally prefer waiters who are attentive without being pushy. I especially like to order dessert while I'm still eating dinner--I am the fastest eater ever, I sometimes think.

And apple juice--eee! Sticky! That's so awful.

[logospilgrim.livejournal.com]

Many moons ago, a friend and I had dinner together, and the waiter was surly... I felt sorry for him; he looked tired and kind of like... well, like Al Bundy.

I have always liked Al ;-)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

It's so lovely to see you on LJ again--you were missed! *giant hugs*

[logospilgrim.livejournal.com]

You are a ray of sunshine in my heart, my dearest one.

*kisses your hands many times*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

And congratulations on your newest book! I admire your drive.

[sistermagpie.livejournal.com]

I was a cocktail waitress so I totally identify with the waitress.

I think the weirdest waitress I ever had was in Amsterdam. She was mean and she smelled and she refused to bring me milk for my tea. She said they didn't have any milk. It was a coffee shop. They served cafe au lait. Of course they had milk!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

She said they didn't have any milk. It was a coffee shop. They served cafe au lait. Of course they had milk!

That's one of those WTF? situations. I mean, really, what was the point for the waitress? What did she gain by depriving you of milk? lol.

There must have been something behind it--maybe she hated touching milk cartons.

[artystone.livejournal.com]

I have a friend someone I've read posts by on the internet who is a "professional" waitress. I mean, that's her life and hey if you like that sort of thing, that's great. But she apparently HATES her job. No matter where she works, she hates it...anyway she passes the time by arguing with her customers. One time she posted this tldr rant about "people" (implying this happens ZOMG ALLTHETIME!) who order their coffee "Black because I'm allergic to milk" then order ice cream for dessert.
You know, she can't just say, "Ok great, I'll have that right out for you, anything else?" NOOOOOOO she has to get her snit on on and make stupid and rude questions like, "Milk allergy cleared up?"

Then she gets on the intarwebs and complains about "stupid customers." Oh well I guess everyone needs a hobby!

One time I suggested she find a new line of work. That was very stupid of me. You can imagine the response.

Then there was the other professional waitron (thier preferred term, BTW) who was almost as bad. She works/worked at a famous place on the river in San Antonio (that's right, isn't it) and she claims she has to "constantly argue with customers and she HATES it when they come in and request a table by the water." Apparently she tells them there'll be a wait and they say, "That's fine." She doesn't like that. I'm guessin it's probably because she's such a **** that her station is that little dark table in front of the swinging kitchen doors.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I have a friend someone I've read posts by on the internet who is a "professional" waitress. I mean, that's her life and hey if you like that sort of thing, that's great. But she apparently HATES her job. No matter where she works, she hates it...anyway she passes the time by arguing with her customers.

Honestly, I think the best way to go about service is to be a bit of a zombie. I know that I put on a persona of sorts when I'm at shows; it's expected of us, I swear.

When customers interact with you, they want a certain level of interaction in return. Most customers just want you to see to their needs and finish the transaction quickly. There is a very real rhythm to it.

But to use it as an excuse to argue with people? WTF?! This is why I have a LJ--so that I can complain about them after the fact. But why argue with them or make snide comments to their face? That's just asking for them to not come back.

See, this is another example of what I think of as the "employee" mentality--where you're so into yourself and your fellow employees that your opinion of the business itself is skewed. When I was 19 and working at Waldenhell, I would get righteously indignant about customers and I really thought that the people who worked there were most important. I was always put out by rude customers and management.

When I became management, my attitude changed (surprise, surprise). I started to understand how short-sighted it is to only think of the business in worker terms.

And now that I own my own business, I really understand it a lot better, I think. When your next meal AND your entire business depends on the customer liberating dollars from their pocket, you're less likely to snark at them. heh.

[tjwritter.livejournal.com]

I hate bad service because I was a waitress and I remembered how very easy it is to make people happy and how much more pleasant it is when everyone is happy. Of course a couple of times I brought my personal problems to work, but at the end of the night, when my tips were about half of what they usually were...I learned to leave the drama in the kitchen!

The place where I've gotten consistant bad service is at Friendly's...even the kids hate that place--and they give free ice cream with every meal!!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Of course a couple of times I brought my personal problems to work, but at the end of the night, when my tips were about half of what they usually were...I learned to leave the drama in the kitchen!

I've been thinking about how certain professions end up with a "manner" of interaction--for example, retail sales has its own give and take, a rhythm that customers expect. Serving seems to have the same thing, it seems.

Friendly's...I've eaten at one of those before, but it was ages ago. I don't think we have any here in MI...

[julian-black.livejournal.com]

I've been fortunate--I've had a lot of mediocre severs (read: tired, depressed, hung over, and/or indifferent), but the bad ones have been incredibly rare. I've had a couple of visibly intoxicated/high servers who were definitely a bit impaired, but truly horrible ones? Maybe three or four times.

My single worst experience was when my mom and I were at lunch at a seafood place in San Diego. The waiter set my mom's plate down in front of her, and then as he was about to set mine down he sneezed all over my food. And this was not a young guy, or otherwise a newbie to the biz; I'd watched him wait on other tables and he was, as far as I could tell, an experienced waiter who was good at his job.

He sneezed all over my food, then went on to set the plate down in front of me as if nothing had happened.

You know me. So you can, I am sure, guess my reaction.

And the dude wanted to argue with me about it. Bad idea.

According to my mother, the hostess looked up in a panic from the other side of the dining room, and other diners stopped mid-meal to stare. Because there's nothing like an enraged woman forcibly repeating, "DUDE, YOU SNEEZED ON MY FOOD. THIS IS A PROBLEM" to bring a busy lunch shift to a dead halt.

I'll give the manager credit--he not only sent our waiter home, he took over his tables. He saw to it that I got another lunch (not sneezed-upon), and comped our entire tab. I was ready to walk out the door in a rage (in fact, I was just standing up when he approached our table), but he handled the situation so well that by the time my food arrived again I was able to enjoy it. We left him a 25% tip.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

WOW. I am goggling at that!

That is an insane story. I totally wish I could have seen your face--in fact, I'll bet that the guy shivers every time he recalls it. hee!!

I had a waiter flip my plate perfectly upside down right in front of me once. It was pasta, so it was a complete mess and unsalvageable. It happened, and he looked at me with this expression of utter shock.

I should have told him about my bad luck, and then he would have understood. ha!

[gmonkey42.livejournal.com]

Man, why is it all the high maintenance ones are also bad tippers? I had a co-worker like that. EVERY time we ate out, she had to find something wrong and send the food back. And it wasn't a fluke, I worked there for almost a year and we ate out maybe once a week or every other week, and every damn time, she had something to complain about.

And on the flip side, here's my bad service story, and loudmeggaphone can back me up on this, she was there. We went to Denny's to get take-out, which you order at the register. Denny's, for those of you who live on Mars, is open 24 hours a day and sells breakfast, lunch and dinner all the time. It was late morning; I ordered the veggie omelet. The guy stared at the register for a while and finally asked his co-worker "where's the veggie sandwich?" Luckily, she misheard him as he'd misheard me and two wrongs made a right: she said "veggie omelet? that's here" and she found the key for him (I should point out that there is no veggie sandwich on the menu. Nothing even close, except maybe the Boca burger). Then Meghan ordered the chicken strips meal with her choice of two side dishes. He claimed that you couldn't have side dishes with chicken strips. She showed him where it said "chicken strips meal with choice of two side dishes" on the menu. He searched around on the register some more and another co-worker came to his rescue and showed him how to enter it. Then it was time to pay. He stood there staring at the register some more.

Meanwhile, he's monopolizing the register, and about four other waiters have come over and need to use it to generate the bills for their tables. The manager comes over and tells the guy to clock out so everyone else can use the register. And he can't figure out how to clock out. He's still trying to print our receipt so we can pay. The manager finally manages to get him clocked out, which is good because otherwise I think she would have strangled him, and she takes about two seconds to print our bill.

The worst part? It sounded like he was just clocking out for his break. He still had more time on his shift. During Saturday brunch time, if I remember correctly.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

EVERY time we ate out, she had to find something wrong and send the food back. And it wasn't a fluke, I worked there for almost a year and we ate out maybe once a week or every other week, and every damn time, she had something to complain about.

That sort of situation--especially when repeated at a restaurant--just invites the servers to mess with your food. *shivers* I don't even want to think what they did to her meals!

I forgot to mention that in the $84 meal fiasco Ricky and I had put in $8 of tip money. So that means that $4 of our money went directly to paying for Ethel and Fred's meal, and $0 of their money went toward a tip, which is just utter nastiness.

And LOL about not being able to figure out the register. I remember when I went to McDonald's once years ago and the guy behind the register couldn't figure out where the Big Mac button was. I was in shock.

[todayiamadaisy]

I've been reasonable lucky with waiters. I remember feeling sorry for one woman. It was a few years ago when I worked at the Evil Accounting Firm and we went out for our quarterly dinner. As we sat down my boss said something to the table at large. I can't remember what, but it was to us, not the waitress, who was very nervous. She took whatever he said personally, and said, "Oh, I see, a funny man", and she was really paranoid and on edge for the rest of the evening. Perhaps she was new and feeling out of her depth.

My mother and her partner were once abandoned in a pub restaurant. They were driving through Wales and stopped for the night in a pub in a small town. She said they ate their breakfast, then waited and waited and waited for someone to come with their bill, and eventually they went out the back into the kitchen and office and couldn't find anyone at all. So they worked out how much they owed for the meal and the room and left it on the table. Then they found that the customer exit was locked, so they had to go out via the staff door in kitchen. I think, on the whole, bad service is better than no service at all. :-)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I would totally agree with you about bad service being better than no service. When Phil and I were abandoned, I saw red, I swear. Especially after the arguing and the statement that she would be Miss Uber Refilling Queen. Ridiculous.

I mean, guessing at how much it cost? Crazy!

And total LOL about having to go out the staff exit! That's hilarious!

[melusinahp.livejournal.com]

It's always mortifying to go out to eat with my family. I dread it. My father is very loud, very demanding and will complain at the slightest thing. My mother goes into a rage if anything goes even slightly wrong. It's very stressful, and I've had to warn them in the past about behaving when they come with us to our favourite local restaurants.

That said, really bad service makes me cross, too. I'm terrified of getting food that's been spit in, though, so I try to control myself. ;)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

My mom always mumbles to us about wanting refills, and then we're expected to flag down the server and mention it. *rolls eyes*

My sister always has very complicated orders--on the side is a very big thing with her--but thankfully she's realistic about servers, and understands that she's high-maintenance.

[jaelle-n-gilla.livejournal.com]

I'm always amazed at the tips in the US.

In Germany, I tip 10% if everything was ok. If the waitress or waiter was nice and fast (read: had the occasional smile on their face, spoke at all, and worked fast, depending on the crowdedness of the place) I round the 10% up to the next full Euro, or do 15 or 20%.
If the waiter can't smile or hardly speaks (and that is not uncommon in Germany) they may get as little as 20 cent if that's the next full Euro. Their problem.

That may sound misery to anyone in the US, but the reason I am writing this at all is, I had a converstion with a colleague who waits at her parent's place part time. Now, she's the most friendly person you could imagine, helpful, always friendly, always smiling. I can't imagine her to be grumpy or unfriendly even when under stress. She tells me most people just round up to the next Euro. Always. 5% is a good tip. 10% is gorgeous, and very rare. And that's in a place where you have dinner, not just a coffee to go.

I felt so sorry for waiters. I mean, in Europe they get a base salary and the tip is only for good service. But still. If I got good service, I think I should show it.

I have to remember the 20% when I next go to the US.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

In Germany, I tip 10% if everything was ok. If the waitress or waiter was nice and fast (read: had the occasional smile on their face, spoke at all, and worked fast, depending on the crowdedness of the place) I round the 10% up to the next full Euro, or do 15 or 20%.

This difference in percentages--it could be related to the tiny hourly rate that servers get in the US.

15% is the standard tipping rate here. I've always given 20% because it seems like a lot of work, and I know how low their rate is. I've actually had a waitress flag me down as I was leaving and almost tearfully tell me, "Thank you," which was sad--it shouldn't be the exception, you know?

[catsintheattic.livejournal.com]

First of all, I &hearts you for your extra-tip for the waitress. That was really sweet.

The café at the corner of my street has very good waiters and waitresses; they are attentive and friendly. But one beat them all: a friend and I used to take our coffees at that place, as a kind of treat after meeting to do our taxes. :-) First time: I ordered a latte macchiato and a glass of tab water (not usually done in Germany, but they are slowly getting used to it) and my friend ordered a double espresso and a cup of hot water (arjuvedic and healthy). The waiter was astonished, so my friend explained all about the arjuvedic stuff. Next time, we ordered the same. The third time we visited, he simply waved and brought our beverages. Needless to say that we tipped him very well. :-)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

First time: I ordered a latte macchiato and a glass of tab water (not usually done in Germany, but they are slowly getting used to it) and my friend ordered a double espresso and a cup of hot water (arjuvedic and healthy). The waiter was astonished, so my friend explained all about the arjuvedic stuff. Next time, we ordered the same. The third time we visited, he simply waved and brought our beverages. Needless to say that we tipped him very well. :-)

That's very interesting! I remember that Ricky's parents once went to a diner, and the next week when they returned, the waitress saw them in the parking lot and had their beverages already at the table when they entered the restaurant (at the same booth, no less!).

And that poor waitress--she deserved ten times the amount for the pain and effort she went through. Poor thing! I felt so sorry for her.

[morganmuffle]

Bad service?

My personal worst, well the one I remember most anyway, was about a year ago at a resturant in London where we arrived and were told we could have a table if we ate and were out in an hour which we had no problem with EXCEPT it took them nearly half an hour to come and take our order and then the food took another 15 minutes leaving us with hardly any time to eat at all and they'd managed to give us the wrong drinks anyway. The bill of course came bang on time with 12.5% service charge added automatically at which point I saw red and told the waitress to take it off, which she grumblingly did and then came back with the right bill to take my credit card and asked how much tip she should put on!

Mind you the few times I've been to the States it's always taken me a couple of days to remember 10% isn't the normal rate of tipping and I always end up feeling bad about the waiting staff I meet on thos first days.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

My personal worst, well the one I remember most anyway, was about a year ago at a resturant in London where we arrived and were told we could have a table if we ate and were out in an hour

Wow, I've never been told that before!

Now, I have been asked to leave once or twice, in seriously busy circumstances (Easter brunch, for example), but I've never had anyone tell me that.

The waitress asked you how much tip to add?! You don't do that yourself? That's crazy!

Mind you the few times I've been to the States it's always taken me a couple of days to remember 10% isn't the normal rate of tipping and I always end up feeling bad about the waiting staff I meet on thos first days.

I'm sure they understand--tipping is such a mystical art, anyway. It's very inconsistent, from what I hear.

[artystone.livejournal.com]

Ha ha I'm glad I never told you I worked as a waitress in HS. And worked the midnight to 6 am shift at Dunkin' Donuts!

Oops!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

OMG YOU MUST HAVE THE BEST STORIES EVER!!!

Tell me everything!! LOL!

[verdenia.livejournal.com]

Wow, lots of good stories here. I've had to make up for people's poor tips before, but I can't think of anything off hand that is so bad.

My bf was a bartender/server on the lunch/early pm shift for awhile [before we met] and Europeans, not knowing about our tipping style, would order tons of expensive food and drink and not tip at all. Sad. Then there was the tables on the far side of a wall, where people could be forgotten about. He was sorry about that. :P

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Eee! That would be the worst--having to serve them, knowing, all the while, that you're not going to get much of a tip, if anything. That would have driven me crazy!