valis2 | Starsky & Hutch badfic quotes: A deadly case of procrastinated vengeance

Yeah, I had to break down and do it. I had no choice. Most S&H fic is pretty good, but once in a while a gem jumps out at me...

"Shut up and shut the door," he ordered. The boy jammed his foot on the execrator making the car jump to life, the car that had been behind them squealed around them honking as it sped by.

Ah yes, the horror of the Spellchecker Gone Mad.

As she went out of the room leaving them alone, Starsky sat down on the chair at the bedside and rested his forehead on the side of the bed, next to the big blond hand.

[Starksy] knew that being a cop meant you always had enemies, but he couldn't think of anything messy he and Hutch had been a part of lately. Could this be a procrastinated vengeance?

“What would you like?” Mandy asked Hutch.

“I’m not feeding him too,” Joey yelled.

“You can’t starve him to dead,” Mandy retorted. “For God sakes Joey.”

Hutch was loosing his rational. His reasoning skills weren't what they used to be.

Is the "overheard mistaken activity" thing really that funny? I'm pretty sick of it. You know, that thing where one character walks up and hears two characters moaning, or saying, "Put it in harder," and it turns out that they're building a deck.

The faceless, grey suited beaurocrats labeled the curly haired cop as a “loose canon” and a “liability” and tried to exclude him from the meetings whenever they could.

*blinks* Wow, after years of reading the mistake of "cannon" when someone means "canon," I finally see the reverse!

Um. I have to say, I like the fics where the bad guy happens to have an obsession with tall, athletic blond men. New fandom, new weaknesses, y'know? ETA: Too bad it goes places I'd rather it not. Still, I did like the first half...

Starsky had just finished describing Hutch’s beat up heap to the motel manger, “Yep,” the man said. “They were here.”

"Omig-d...." She reached across [Hutch] to press the call button.

Um. I know that the author is omitting the "o" in god and I know why, but I am five years old and this amused me because for just a second I thought she was referring to a Transformer character named Oh-mig Dee.

"Ok, Ok, we'll go over the details later" conceited Anderson.... "Your detective, he's in rather delicate way, and I don't mean with child, if you catch my drift"

‘Well my diagnosis as a doctor is that you’re exhausted and if you’re not careful you’re going to be dehydrated as well. So you have two choices Dave. You can either lie there while I get the nurse to bring you a proper meal and a drink and then go to sleep. Or I can set up a drip and sedate you. What’s it to be?’

Starsky grinned up at her. ‘I love it when you’re so masterful. I’m not too fond of needles, so I’m gonna go with the second option’ He lay back against the pillow and closed his eyes as Judith headed back to her real patient.

Might want to think that through again, Starksy.

Island of the Lone Sane Thought