valis2 | X-files: the shimmying, adjusting alter boy

[Skinner] was in heaven. [Krycek] tasted like sweet cream and cinnamon. Cinnamon rolls were his secret sweet craving.

Dude, Krycek is super sick with a cold in this scene. I don't know about you, but when I'm sick with a cold, the last thing I taste like is cinnamon. Or sweet cream.

Though offered the chance of solice and redemption, Mulder turned away from them, shied away from them like a nimble highly strung stallion being bitten on the rump by a horsefly.

"Alex, you have to eat," Mulder said. "The last time I saw you, you had twice the amount of ass.

In one fic, the author goes through considerable trouble to get a GPS tracking device into Krycek's jacket so that Mulder can track him if he runs away from him. And then at a critical juncture, where there is the highest probability of Krycek actually running away from him, Mulder decides to wear the jacket himself. bwuh? Did the author forget about the tracking device? ETA: Okay, now Mulder's locked the jacket in the safe in the basement. An even better place for it to...not track Krycek at all.

[Scully:] "His fever is higher. I think the antibiotics were stale."
[Skinner:] "Stale? What the fuck does that mean?" he shouted.

Is it really that hard to figure out? Then again, I would be a little leery of Scully's medical expertise here anyway, seeing as earlier in the fic she mentioned adding Tylenol to an IV.

[Mulder inner monologue:] OK, so Krycek had eyes that could change from cold emerald-green to a dark silky chocolate; from assassin to lover in a heartbeat . . .

I suppose we're just lucky that they're "eyes" and not "orbs."

A doctor, a young woman with very dark skin but the most beautiful bun twisted at her neck, entered the curtained off area and began barking out orders.

The use of the word "but" really confuses me here. I really don't think that the author is saying that youth and dark skin isn't beautiful, honestly, but there's that pesky "but."

Mulder took it and smiled, "I won't say goodbye, just au revoir, as I'm sure we are going to be seeing a lot of one another."

You guys know that I'm not really that much of a prude, but still, I am astonished at the pr0n in this fandom. Srsly. There are so many fics where Krycek breaks into Mulder's apartment and Mulder punches him in the nose and then they have hot drrty sex. I mean, the stories are short, and the pr0n happens so quickly that it's a bit surprising. Am I spoiled by LJ and fest fics? Or is it one of those things where after I read enough of these I'll lose my resistance to sudden, inexplicable sex and think of it as an everyfic occurrence?

[Skinner] began pulling clothing out, cutting off tags, removing sizing stickers so that he did not watch at Alex shimmied his boxer briefs up his hips and adjusted his package into place.

If he didn't watch, how did he know Alex was doing all that shimmying and adjusting?

Boy, they eat a lot of sandwiches in these stories. There's one story (a great one, actually) where Krycek and Skinner are trapped on a hijacked plane for like three days and they're given nothing but water and sandwiches to eat, and then after they get rescued, the rescuers give them...sandwiches.

"I made the [wrestling] team in high school, but my grandparents wanted me to be an alter boy so I had to quit," Alex said.

Finally, Mulder made his way into the bedroom like a dragonfly deprived of a wing and took his naked an insectoid self next to the bed.

Island of the Lone Sane Thought