X-files: fasting for Saint Patrick

[valis2]

• M: Sculy, do you fell like celebration ?!
  S: Uh! Mulder..!
  M: Yeah! - and is head make a funny move.
  S: what's on your mind -caustious.
  [They kiss.]...All the world fade awey and all rathional touth, they became a man and a womam with neads, fisicals and emotionals.


• This is from a PWP. It's in the middle of a seduction scene between Krycek and Mulder:
  
  "Call me. . . Ishmael," [Krycek] breathed.
  
  No whale is involved. Thankfully.


• "Awnotthlonegnmnillndupfeelnlikivbndippdnoil." Scully whined unintelligibly.


• Mulder's heart started to compete with the loud music when the dark haired stranger got up from his seated position and started to make his way over to where Mulder was sitting.
  
  Dark haired stranger: Hi there.
  Mulder: What?
  Dark haired stranger: Hi!
  Mulder: What?
  Dark haired stranger: HI THERE!
  Mulder: *shrugs* Sorry, I can't hear you over my heart.


• "You're about to fuck up Mulder," Krycek warned, eyes cruel coiled serpents.
  
  This sentence needs so much grammatical loving that I don't even know where to begin.


• Summary: After an attempt at fasting, Mulder and Scully find their St. Patrick's Day going swiftly downhill.
  
  Wait--we're supposed to fast on St. Patrick's Day?


• Okay. So here's an issue I'm having. (Warning--it concerns limb removal.) Alex Krycek had his arm amputated in a Siberian forest, either just above the elbow or a little higher. He wears a prosthetic limb. Now I am aware that I know very little about these things, honestly, but I find that I keep going, bwuh? in some fics.
  
  Let me explain. I've read a fic where he had to go through heroics to put toothpaste on a toothbrush. Look, I can do that one-handed. It doesn't take a lot of skill, just a flat surface for the toothbrush. Also, there was one fic where he just about couldn't get his pants off without help. huh? How the hell does he get dressed? I mean, I'm sure it's a pain, but still, after having this disability for awhile, you know he's figured out ways to cope. And now I've just read a fic where he is shrugging with only one shoulder. Okay, fine, I'm not really knowledgeable about prosthetics, and how the prosthetic is strapped on and that sort of thing, but I'm fairly certain he'd still be able to shrug both shoulders. /rant


• X-files/Animaniacs crossover. Also X-files/Monty Python. Um. Not making this up.


• One day, Walter Sergei Skinner was sitting in his office doing some work when a bee came by and stung him on the back of his neck.
  
  This is half of a fic. I am not kidding.


• [Skinner to Krycek:] "That's Mister Skinner-Krycek to you, Mister Krycek-Skinner.


• Holy cow, Scully's name is misspelled in the title of a fic. Bad sign.


• [Mulder's mom] had been rewarded with a little girl, a beautiful little girl with silky hair and grey eyes which would soon turn the crystalline color of arctic ice.


• It's hard for me to buy Krycek giggling all the time. It really irks me. Maybe it's because I haven't watched enough canon--does he giggle a lot? But there's one thing I do know--Skinner doesn't giggle. I'm reading a giggling!Skinner fic right now and it's a bit head-scratchy for me. Also, Skinner keeps saying "Christ on a crutch" and now I'm wondering if that's canon. ETA: He says it in multiple fics by multiple authors. *boggles* Is this some sort of fandom hive-mind, or is it really canon?


• Another one bites the dust
  Another one bites the dust
  Another one bites the dust
  Another one bites the dust
  There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man Queen
  
  Let this be a lesson to us all on how not to quote song lyrics. Or rather, how to quote them for maximum unintentional hilarity.


• [Author's note:]The following story is my small tribute to the paranormal phenomena found in the Midwest.

Comments

[marginaliana]

X-files/Monty Python

HOW!?!?! I always want to know how people make these things work. I mean, X-Files/Animaniacs I can totally see (I can't believe I just said that), but Monty Python? I guess, er, Mulder finds aliens at the Summarize Proust Competition? Or, um, the man with a tape recorder up his nose is really an alien. Or...?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

There are MULTIPLE X-files/MP fics. NO LIE. I remember seeing summaries for at least three.

My first guess is that they crossover Holy Grail stuff, since that's the best known, but you never know.

Let's see...

Delete This File (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?DeleteThisFile.Ophelia) (Star Trek/Millenium/X-Files/Monty Python) In a tremendous violation of continuity, good taste and good sense, shadowy, unknown writer(s) make Chris Carter's, Gene Rodenberry's and the Censorship Suicide Squad's worst nightmares come true.

A Fish Called Mulder (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?FishCalledMulder.Cheri) (X-files/MP) Mulder and Scully encounter some unusual characters in London

Michael Palin's Fight the Future (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?MichaelPalinsFightTheFuture.Cheri) (X-files/MP) Michael stumbles onto more than he bargined for, while filming his Pole to Pole documentary

Random Replies (http://krycek.gossamer.org/display.php?RandomReplies.Beaker) (X-files/MP) Beaker picks up the manual "So You Want to Write an Fanfic Summary!" She flips through the pages frantically. "What?! No section covering a Monty Pythonish X-File parody?!" Disgusted, she sets the book aside.

[marginaliana]

You know, I love cracky crossovers, but anything that starts with "for reasons forever unexplained" is probably not going to do it for me.

And now having read all of these, wow, are they terrible. I mean. Wow. I am spoiled by LJ, I know, but this is ridiculous. And so many written in script format! I could live without seeing any more fic written in script format ever.

(And wow, I'd forgotten that Gossamer doesn't allow deep linking. My X-Files fandom days are coming back to haunt me.)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

grah!!!! I didn't realize that the links wouldn't work. I'm so sorry, I never even thought to check.

And I am so with you about the script format. And being spoiled by LJ. A lot of this fic seems unsophisticated to me, honestly. I think I'm just used to HP and fest fics and higher levels of quality in some sense. *nodnod*