valis2 | X-files: fasting for Saint Patrick

M: Sculy, do you fell like celebration ?!
S: Uh! Mulder..!
M: Yeah! - and is head make a funny move.
S: what's on your mind -caustious.
[They kiss.]...All the world fade awey and all rathional touth, they became a man and a womam with neads, fisicals and emotionals.

This is from a PWP. It's in the middle of a seduction scene between Krycek and Mulder:

"Call me. . . Ishmael," [Krycek] breathed.

No whale is involved. Thankfully.

"You're about to fuck up Mulder," Krycek warned, eyes cruel coiled serpents.

This sentence needs so much grammatical loving that I don't even know where to begin.

Summary: After an attempt at fasting, Mulder and Scully find their St. Patrick's Day going swiftly downhill.

Wait--we're supposed to fast on St. Patrick's Day?

Okay. So here's an issue I'm having. (Warning--it concerns limb removal.) Alex Krycek had his arm amputated in a Siberian forest, either just above the elbow or a little higher. He wears a prosthetic limb. Now I am aware that I know very little about these things, honestly, but I find that I keep going, bwuh? in some fics.

Let me explain. I've read a fic where he had to go through heroics to put toothpaste on a toothbrush. Look, I can do that one-handed. It doesn't take a lot of skill, just a flat surface for the toothbrush. Also, there was one fic where he just about couldn't get his pants off without help. huh? How the hell does he get dressed? I mean, I'm sure it's a pain, but still, after having this disability for awhile, you know he's figured out ways to cope. And now I've just read a fic where he is shrugging with only one shoulder. Okay, fine, I'm not really knowledgeable about prosthetics, and how the prosthetic is strapped on and that sort of thing, but I'm fairly certain he'd still be able to shrug both shoulders. /rant

X-files/Animaniacs crossover. Also X-files/Monty Python. Um. Not making this up.

One day, Walter Sergei Skinner was sitting in his office doing some work when a bee came by and stung him on the back of his neck.

This is half of a fic. I am not kidding.

[Skinner to Krycek:] "That's Mister Skinner-Krycek to you, Mister Krycek-Skinner.

[Mulder's mom] had been rewarded with a little girl, a beautiful little girl with silky hair and grey eyes which would soon turn the crystalline color of arctic ice.

It's hard for me to buy Krycek giggling all the time. It really irks me. Maybe it's because I haven't watched enough canon--does he giggle a lot? But there's one thing I do know--Skinner doesn't giggle. I'm reading a giggling!Skinner fic right now and it's a bit head-scratchy for me. Also, Skinner keeps saying "Christ on a crutch" and now I'm wondering if that's canon. ETA: He says it in multiple fics by multiple authors. *boggles* Is this some sort of fandom hive-mind, or is it really canon?

[Author's note:]The following story is my small tribute to the paranormal phenomena found in the Midwest.

Island of the Lone Sane Thought