Sue profiles #2

[valis2]

[Recap: Some of you might remember that at one of the HP conventions, gmonkey42 and I put together a Snape and his Mary Sues presentation. In order to put the presentation together, we had to read a bunch of HP fanfics featuring Sues who were paired with Snape. The other night, I was scribbling notes on scrap paper, and realized that the paper in question was from a printout of the spreadsheet that we built to house the data. And then I started laughing at the quote, and I thought that we really should share the profiles because they're just too much fun not to.]

• Name of Sue: Allison McCormack


• Eye color: made of chocolate, apparently


• Other: Snape sees Lily when he looks at her


• Exchange student or DADA professor?: no


• Tragic past: raped and impregnated by Rabastan Lestrange, who also killed her sister; she was approximately 13 at the time; blind dad


• Past relationships: Neil Lansdell, skating partner; friends with Hermione


• House: Gryffindor, 1 year behind Harry


• Martial arts/sports: ice skating "top skater in her age group"; "extremely quick runner"


• Unique magic ability: causes Hermione to appear in the Room of Requirement; can fabricate memories better than Slughorn


• Other: knows how to drive! can Floo from home into Hogwarts; can untie herself and beat up a Death Eater but then sits around waiting for Snape to rescue her


• Special pet: engagement ring that Snape had planned to give Lily… when he was 16 I guess. She gives it back for no adequately explained reason and Snape turns it into a dove, also for no adequately explained reason


• Moment of totally overblown temper?: trashes her house upon learning she has to get married and also quit skating for no reason; later blows up at Snape with no provocation


• Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: confides in her and is nice to her; hears voices in his head and argues with them to the point where I wonder whether he's schizophrenic (this could be just a convenient incorporation of the song lyrics the author picked in advance); forgets that Muggles can't be ghosts; inexplicably falls in love with the Sue; throwaway line says he's a rapist and I think that's hugely OOC though not everyone would agree


• Relationship with Snape: arranged marriage; he pretty much falls in love with her instantaneously


• Other: awkward dialogue; irrational plot device; special attention from Dumbledore for no reason; post-DH but doesn't explain why Snape and DD are alive; writing ranges from irritating to near-unintelligible; chapter titles don't make sense


• Sue House: Sparklypoo

Comments

[quoshara.livejournal.com]

Other: Snape sees Lily when he looks at her

Apparently, Snape needs his eyesight checked.


Relationship with Snape: arranged marriage; he pretty much falls in love with her instantaneously

Yep... call the optometrist.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Somehow I don't think the author would agree with us. But yes, immediate vision consultation is required.

[quoshara.livejournal.com]

I really shouldn't laugh... I know some of my very early writing was just as bad... worse actually because we did not even bother to Mary Sue them but wrote ourselves right in. *sporffle*

But I think I've gotten over it....mostly.

[mariannelee.livejournal.com]

You know, fan-fic might be useful to a writer just so you can get all those crappy wish-fulfilliment plots out of your system.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

That's definitely what I used it for, lol!!

This is still relatively mild as far as Sues go; I have much worse ones up my sleeve. ;)

[droxy.livejournal.com]

You spread sheeted these? I bow to thy geekyness. =)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I started the spreadsheet, but gmonkey42's the one who color-coded it. lol! ;)

[tudorpot.livejournal.com]

I read one where Hermione's hair was 'liquid chocolate' matches this one's eyes. gags

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Holy cow, that would be so messy! *shudders*

[tjs-whatnot.livejournal.com]

This is why you're slowly sliding away from fandom, isn't it? You brought this upon yourself you know?

:))

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hahha! Badfic is my fave vice, though, honestly. ;)

[thedoingofit.livejournal.com]

These will never fail to amuse me. :o)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

So glad you liked this one--I have some up my sleeve that are a thousand times worse, no lie.

[sigune.livejournal.com]

I'm just happy I didn't have Internet access back in the days when I wrote my own Sues ;P... The subject of your spreadsheets sounds frightfully familiar!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

hee! I'm glad none of my Sues ever made it to the internet...except the ones I sporked myself. lol!!

[verdenia.livejournal.com]

Loving the Sue Series. Great stuff. ;D

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Glad you're enjoying!! I have a several more up my sleeve...