Notes from up north

[valis2]

Went to see the parental units, and did a show at a small-town junior high school. And now, my notes, which are rather stream-of-consciousness and might not make sense. Be warned.

• Billboard #1 of interest: "Publish your novel now!" Have we come to this? Self-publishing is everywhere.


• Grafitti on wall of girls' bathroom at junior high: "Maryland Loves Travis." Wow, popular kid.


• Best overheard convo at show ever:
  
  Woman: I have no talents.
  Woman's friend: *something I couldn't quite make out*
  Woman: Drinking tequila is not a talent.


• Billboard #2 of interest: Giant ear of corn, proclaiming several events in a town. One event: "Relay For Life." My brain immediately started thinking about out-of-towners stopping by to see the relay, who are then forced into the race. "You're not from around here, are you? RUN or DIE!"


• Best conversation with my dad:
  
  Me: Oh, the muskrat is out in the channel again.
  Dad: He called me while we were in FL.
  Me: Really? What did he say?
  Dad: Hi! Swimming!
  
  Honestly, I think it was one of those had-to-be-there things. My dad's muskrat voice is superb. And hilarious. And I laughed like an idjit. You see where I get it from.


• Billboard #3 of interest: An insurance company with the slogan, "Protecting what's important to you." I can only imagine what they would think if I drew up my list of what's important to me. "Fried chicken? Slash? Huh?"


• It is perfectly acceptable to advertise the grand opening of your company with a sign painted on plywood and stuck on your pickup truck, artfully parked in front of your business.


• Sign of interest: "On April 12th [x freeway] will be closed." Um. Thanks for the...er...warning.


• Best answering machine message ever:
  
  *beep*
  Mom: *sounding agitated* My hair's wet and I just got out of the bathtub!
  Dad: *very loudly--note that this is not said in shock, but as in I-didn't-hear-you* "What?!"
  *beep*
  
  Well, it made me laugh like an idjit.


• Sign #2 of interest: "Guiness is good for you"

Comments

[valis2.livejournal.com]

omg, it was so funny. I'm so bummed that my mom deleted it! I would have recorded it onto my phone, seriously.