Sue Profile #10

[valis2]

[Recap: Some of you might remember that at one of the HP conventions, gmonkey42 and I put together a Snape and his Mary Sues presentation. In order to put the presentation together, we had to read a bunch of HP fanfics featuring Sues who were paired with Snape. The other night, I was scribbling notes on scrap paper, and realized that the paper in question was from a printout of the spreadsheet that we built to house the data. And then I started laughing at the quote, and I thought that we really should share the profiles because they're just too much fun not to.]

I'll be the first to admit that the last two weeks' Sues haven't been that interesting. But this one is a true Sue. Read on and weep.

• Name of Sue: Anastasia Twigg, later Anna Twigg-Jones, aka "Twiggy"


• Hair color: Long auburn hair


• Clothing: Motorcycle leathers; a dark purple, black lace edged, deeply scoop-necked gown; sweatpants, sneakers


• Other: Supposedly has a great sense of humor, is a world class practical joker, is almost always late, with NO concept of time; supersensitive hearing


• Exchange student or DADA professor?: Yes, defense


• Outcast or beloved: Beloved; "she's a stunner and way cool"; Gryffindors applaud wildly when she first appears


• Went to Hogwarts with Snape/Marauders?: Yes


• Further education: Auror, fully qualified Healer


• Past relationships: Conveniently deceased Muggle husband who now watches over her in a painting and is a JEENYUS and made a Wolfsbane pill and is curing the Longbottoms as well


• Related to canon character: Is Neville's godmother, apparently saw Ginny when 2 days old, and Hermione's parents are her dead husband's dentists, friends with Remus, knows Rosmerta--I am not listing anything else. She knows everyone. Period.


• Martial arts/sports: Incredible with computers, text messaging, you name it; insanely gifted at dodging spells; extremely physically fit


• Special pet: Harley--see Special Possession


• Special possession: Black and silver Harley that is apparently sentient and will be very displeased if anyone who hasn't been introduced to it tries to sit on it (I am not making this up); black gun


• Moment of totally overblown temper?Her eyes have only to "flash" and Snape stands down


• Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: In public, Snape calls her a "little girl," and she bitch-slaps Snape, who calls her, a, ahem, "consummate bitch" and then she warns him not to say it again, "DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR," which is also the chapter title (chp 3);
  damn, it turns out it was rehearsed between them(chp 4);
  ugh, she says "ditto";
  even more creepy, her husband is in a painting and is telling her to hit that Snape ass while she can; the real Snape would turn her inside out, I can't take more of this.


• Relationship with Snape: Romance, which they have to keep hidden


• Sue House: Bitchiwitch

Comments

[thedoingofit.livejournal.com]

Gryffindors applaud wildly when she first appears
Hmmm... I wish my life had an applause track... ;oP

[valis2.livejournal.com]

haha! I'd love a score, actually. Except--no laugh track, please. *grins*