valis2: Stone lion face (flaky death eater)
[personal profile] valis2
[Recap: Some of you might remember that at one of the HP conventions, [livejournal.com profile] gmonkey42 and I put together a Snape and his Mary Sues presentation. In order to put the presentation together, we had to read a bunch of HP fanfics featuring Sues who were paired with Snape. The other night, I was scribbling notes on scrap paper, and realized that the paper in question was from a printout of the spreadsheet that we built to house the data. And then I started laughing at the quote, and I thought that we really should share the profiles because they're just too much fun not to.]

We're down to the end! This is a two-for-one entry, and then next Sunday is the last. *sob*

  • Name of Sue: Morning Sun Fey

  • Eye color: iridescent blue green eyes, the colour of a glacial lake

  • Hair color: long red hair

  • Curves in all the right places: very shapely

  • Unique magic ability: "Her tiny frame contained an immense amount of magic. For her it was second nature to waive her hand or mumble some ancient Sidhe phrase for whatever she wanted. Her soul was kin to the earth. The plants in the forest almost seemed to be singing the praise of his gentle lover. They often went for long walks in the woods. The creatures of the wild frequently came out of hiding to tag along beside the woman."

  • Wandless magic: yes

  • Special pet: Has 2 cats, George and NotGeorge

  • Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: Lets her chew on his neck and massage his cock under the table at The Leaky Cauldron.

  • Sue House: Sparklypoo


  • Name of Sue: Trinity Silvia

  • Eye color: almond-shaped green-hazel eyes

  • Hair color: straight black chin-length hair with a bright red highlight on the left side

  • Clothing: brown high-heeled boots

  • Other: tall and thin, glossed heart shaped lips

  • Exchange student or DADA professor?: DADA prof

  • Past relationships: Snape as a child

  • Unique magic ability: She is Snape's "silent observer"; knows a potion that is an improvement of Snape's

  • Totally uncharacteristic Snape moments: His pet name is "Snarky," Narc's is "Bossy," and Lucius's is "Pointy"

  • Relationship with Snape: knew Snape from the past -- fate?

  • Other: Shares his dreams; author's note: "I apologize for my horrible grammar"; author's note (chp 3): A/N: "I know Severus is OOC…I’m sorry."

  • Sue House: Bitchiwitch


But wait...an excerpt!

[Dumbledore: "Severus…this might be good for you. I’m positive that if you had met her before you became a spy you two would now be happily married with 4 or 5 adorable children, a pony and a muggle Chihuahua named Snowball."

Severus winced. “Albus, even if I did get ‘happily married’, which is highly improbable, I would not have more than 2 children, I would not purchase a pony, and if I was forced to choose a muggle canine it would be a very large Flat-Coated Retriever.”

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 04:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] themostepotente.livejournal.com
...


...


...

I am well and truly gobsmacked.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
So...you don't think Severus wants a very large Flat-Coated Retriever?

*snort*

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gmonkey42.livejournal.com
I was thinking the other day: there was one Sue fic where there was some spell the incantation for which was Speculum. And I was like "...Author, I don't think that word means what you think it means." Have you already posted that one?

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
Hmm. I think I did...let me see... Yes! It's here, in all its glory... (http://valis2.livejournal.com/517323.html)

That was one of the best. ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gmonkey42.livejournal.com
LOL, sometimes it's obvious which ones I wrote. GLOWS IN THE DARK WTF

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
lol! It is funny to try to figure it out, seriously. I can tell mine usually just by their length. *snerk*

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greenpear.livejournal.com
It's been a long, strange trip.

I can't believe what I've read in the past few months...

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 05:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
I know, it's kind of astonishing what people come up with!

And the last one is a personal favorite. I can't wait to share it!!

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lady-branwyn.livejournal.com
I have to admit that I like George and NotGeorge as cat names, lol.
Snape planned to have 2.3 children, and he could do it.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 06:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] droxy.livejournal.com
Bwhahahahahaha to have 2.3 children, Use the .3 part for potions ingredients.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
YES!! hahahahah!

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
Yeah, I actually liked that detail, too! Pretty funny.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 10:14 pm (UTC)
todayiamadaisy: (Default)
From: [personal profile] todayiamadaisy
What's the difference between a Muggle chihuahua and a magic one, I wonder?

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
I was wondering the very same thing! Perhaps the magic ones talk? It would explain the Taco Bell commercials...

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-09 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dbassassin.livejournal.com
Bwah! Now can we not only know the author's idealised form of herself, but her favourite dog breeds, as well. If the last one tops these I'm not sure I'll be able to cope! ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-10 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
The last one is AWESOMESAUCE. I can't wait to share it, seriously!

And yes, now we know all about the Suethor and her favorite dog, lol!!

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-10 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] logospilgrim.livejournal.com
~a pony and a muggle Chihuahua named Snowball~

*falls off chair laughing*

Oh, Dumbledore, how I love thee ;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-10 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
Even in badfic, he's got a sense of humor. hee!!

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-10 08:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thedoingofit.livejournal.com
We're down to the end! This is a two-for-one entry, and then next Sunday is the last. *sob*
TRAGIC INDEED. :o(((

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-10 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
At least we can be consoled by how good the last one is. *nodnod*

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-13 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acid.livejournal.com
Awww, I'll miss these entries. They've always made me grin. I'm looking forward to the last one, though. Such a great (and terrible) Sue collection.

http://scienceblogs.com/bioephemera/2011/01/octopus_throne_when_a_four-leg.php - I saw this today, and immediately thought of you. So, um, tossing the link at you, because it has to be shared.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-01-16 04:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] valis2.livejournal.com
I've just finished putting the last one together, and I'll post it tomorrow. It's amazing, seriously.

And the octopus throne...there are no words. Holy cow. Or, I should say, holy cephalopod. *boggles* Thanks for the link!!

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