So you all know

[valis2]

...that I wibble a lot about self-esteem and writing fanfic. I'm always holding my breath when I post a story to see if it will get comments, to see if people like it, to see what the reaction is.

Yes, I do write for myself, but I still do very much consider the audience.

Anyway, I just read a TERRIFIC entry from faithwood about how highly personal and subjective reading fanfic can be. It was extremely interesting to look at it from a different POV and really think about the readers and how people comment. I found the entry to be engaging and thought-provoking.

I wish I could remember who gave me the link. The upshot is, it's a terrific entry about fanfic and popularity and commenting you should check it out if you're interested.

Comments

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

I liked her essay, though I also thought it was kind of obvious. I mean, if you subscribe to Snarry Fic Find or any other fic find comm, you realize that fan fiction readers are all in it for different things. I've joined two new rec comms on Dreamwidth because it can be so enjoyable to see why people like things I think are really...not all that. I like reading the recs even when I don't share the taste in fic, because I enjoy the enthusiasm for peer artwork implicit in the squee. OK, yes, I'd rather have people like *my* stories, but it's almost as good to enjoy them liking other people's stories.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

It definitely was obvious, but sometimes I need to be hit over the head with the obvious stick. I get drawn into a self-referential whirlpool sometimes and it's hard to see out of it; things end up being more personal than they really are. :(

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

(I can tell I was really punch-drunk on tiredness when I wrote this comment last night! It's very verbose! Speaking of self-referential whirlpools, I'm critiquing my writing in a journal comment.)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

This is why I lurve you, of course! *grins*

[idleleaves.livejournal.com]

Yes, I do write for myself, but I still do very much consider the audience.

I love that you understand that this is possible. Some people in fandom seem to think it can only be one or the other, and that makes me sad, because it's just another example of how people have to categorise everything into strict this-or-that.

Gah, my thoughts on this are so hard to put into words. I mostly write what I want to write (even if I do shy away from certain subjects/etc. because I don't think I'm good enough), but I do still think of my audience all the time. Take this fic I'm working on now, right. I love the pairing. I love the mental images. And yet I've been stressing over every single word I've written because I'm so afraid to "get it wrong" in fandom's eyes. I'm not going to write it any differently because of my intended audience, but that audience is always in the back of my mind, regardless.

If that makes any sense.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

It makes tons of sense. Tons. I am very much the same way; I love what I write, but (as you've seen with my countless eee entries) I do tend to freak out if I think no one will want to read it.

I don't want to write something I wouldn't want to read; and I want to write something other people want to read. I want both things. :)

[greenpear.livejournal.com]

I have gotten to the point that I don't expect comments whenever I post a vid. For the most part it seems like they got fairly unnoticed.

Luckily I've gotten to the point that I do them for myself - not for other people. That means that I only have to satisty one, and only one, person. ME!

So love what you write and don't worry about anybody else...

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've tried that approach, but what I like to write is kind of strange and awful, so I try to downplay that and write nicer things. I like sharing nice things with people and I like it when they comment, so that's why I try to tailor my writing to an audience, at least somewhat. I like making a mix of both what I like and what they like. :)

[greenpear.livejournal.com]

I always look at myself being my number one fan. If other people like it, then that's the extra satisfaction I get.

But I have found that a few of my pieces have garnered an interesting following which makes me smile. :)

[hardboiledbaby]

Very interesting post; thanks for the link.

Sometimes, it's disconcerting when stories I personally don't care for get a lot of attention. It doesn't change how or what I write, though. I'm just grateful there are a few folks who seem to like what I scribble. :)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have moments where I think, "But this was such a great story!" and it gets...two comments. I just sit and blink for a day or two, wondering what happened, how I went wrong.

Honestly, though, when I spend the time to actually think about it, I realize that I'm lucky; I've always found a few happy readers, and I think that's a really good thing. That's what really makes it worth it, those kindred souls who saw your same vision. Not that it means that the other comments aren't worth anything; I cherish those too, of course. ;)

[slavelabour.livejournal.com]

I agree with HBB about some fic recs being real head-scratchers but fandom isn't any different than any other media hub, I guess. I just listened to a podcast of an actor (Michael Biehn) talking about how some of the best films he's ever seen are never talked about, made so little money, and come with fantastic actors, even. That's the way I feel about some fic. I'm always appalled when something that is well-written and subtle can be overlooked in favour of some anvil-icious, poorly edited, 'and they done sex, the end' fic, yknow? ;)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

That's very true. There aren't a lot of amazing movies that are also huge box office winners, you're right!