Saw Revenge of the Sith just now.

[valis2]

dphearson was absolutely correct...I don't think small children should see this movie at all.

The people in front of me brought their baby (fine, too little to know or retain anything), and their three year old and four year old boys, and made no move to shield them from any of the violent bits.

I can't even bring myself to do a thorough review. So I'll just say a few things.

I liked 20% of the movie.

I think Ian McD did a smash-up job with his role. An absolutely smash-up job. I think everyone else had a few moments, but for the most part just delivered some dialogue so George could have warm bodies walking about.

Ewan's huge amount of facial powder was so tremendously disturbing that I kept getting distinctly bothered by it and not paying attention to the dialogue.

The action was boring. The only thrilling bit was the battle between Anakin & Obi-Wan at the end.

The stupid lizard Obi-Wan rides for part of the movie bothered me tremendously.

I thought Hayden did a pretty decent job in this movie.

I thought Anakin went a bit quickly from zero to killing "younglings".

This movie suffers from the same problem as tPM & AotC. NO HAN SOLO. There isn't anyone with an ounce of charisma, spark, or life in the movie. Everyone is too melodramatic, calm, and too damned epic in their acting. There isn't a bit of spontaneity or warmth, really, except a teeny bit from Anakin. I wrote an entry about tPM which said that it suffered from the Too Many Jedi Syndrome.

Here's what I said about it then:

In a New Hope, we have only one full-fledged Jedi, dispensing calm and inner peace, gentle, easy with the world. That's great, especially when you have a cocky youth, a rogue, a prissy robot, and a tough Princess to balance it out. He becomes a wonderful balancing mechanism. We have lots of energy being thrown out by the characters, dialogue, tension, and he is able to smooth out some wrinkles. One Jedi is perfect.

But then, in the Phantom Menace, we have two Jedis. Ah. So then both characters are tremendously calm, quiet, and careful. And then the audience...or maybe just me...grows bored. We have no tension, because everything seems so...peaceful. The fight sequences are energetic, but then you have the scene in which Obi-Wan and Quigon are in a submarine with Jar-Jar. They are so calm about nearly getting eaten by various giant fish, and Jar-Jar is freaking out in such a hyperbolic manner, that I just went into full "Ugh" mode. And that's what happened to me with the third Matrix. We have all of these characters, and all of them are speaking in a highly metaphoric, highly melodramatic, deadly tone, that much tension and drama is lost. It seems that when everything is so dispassionate and emotionless, and so melodramatic, that it just heads into the unbelievable realm. Not every piece of dialogue has to be the difference between life and death. In the first movie, we have Mouse and other characters who are high-key and interesting. But by the third movie nearly all of the higher-energy characters are gone, and we're left with only the mythic characters, and it just becomes too...over-the-top.

And I still think it applies.

I'm sick of the "Hey look! A little funky robot! Wasn't that neat? Aren't I clever?" moments.

I'm angry because R2-D2 has somehow become Supah Droid, capable of nearly anything. There was tension in 4, 5, and 6 because you knew they weren't really capable of that much, and you were afraid something would happen to them. Now that R2 can destroy two battle droids at the drop of the hat, what tension is left?

Speaking of those *&@$%^&*@$ droids, I just have this to say. WHY do they speak using imperfect grammar? WHY do they run in terror from Obi-Wan? Oh, for that old-time ha-ha effect. What was I thinking.

It was really apparent at the end of the movie that the technology from the first three movies way outstripped the technology from the latter three. When the famous suit was being fitted on Anakin I was thinking, ah, yes, check out the rayon cape! And the buttons on the front of it...so seventies. Heh.

If the movies had been released consecutively, would this movie have been perceived as better, or worse? I have a feeling that the choice would be worse. By going back, the movies are given this extra resonance that they wouldn't have had if they had been released consecutively. We know where it is going, so we have this tremendous feeling of sadness for Anakin. We know what is going to happen, so everything has a deeper meaning. Putting on Darth Vader's helmet has a lot of significance, because we know that he is facing twenty years of living in that suit and being the pawn of his master. Seen without the context of the latter three, I think it wouldn't be as moving.

I'm glad that I saw it in the theater, but I have to say, I was really excited because I thought it was going to be something great, but I felt almost nothing for this movie, except for Palpatine/Vader. I think having seen them will give more insight and depth to the original three, and I'm glad that I have them on DVD. Yes, it has come full circle.

ETA: I forgot to mention how much I hate most of the names. Dooku? General Grievious? bwa hahaha! So ludicrous.

And General Grievious was the stupidest character...why, why, why would he cough? Why did he need to wear a cape? Ugh. No lungs! Nothing to cover! So stupid.

ETA: And why would Padme die of a broken heart like that? It would have made much, much more sense to have her die on the volcano planet as Obi-Wan attempts to save her children. Much more sense. Instead it was silly, really. She didn't seem the kind of woman to just let herself die.

ETA: And why spend all that time working on Wookie costumes to use them for barely five minutes? Why was the Wookie subplot so short?