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valis2I have been howling with laughter about it all morning. I discovered it last night and bookmarked it.
It is...and I am not making this up...a HP crossover with Super Mario Brothers.
No, really.
ahhahaha!!!!
Right here.
Some highlights...
Bowser pressed eight buttons a brown one a green one a red one an orange one three yellow one’s and a purple one labeled: snacks Koopa Kid looked at Bowser strangely “What I’m hungry,” Bowser said defensively “Oh” was all Koopa Kid said. There was a bright flash of light and Bowser and Koopa Kid were gone.
“Princess, have you noticed a flaw in your fathers logic?” Luigi asked “No” was Peaches answer “Well here it is, HE BUILT YOUR CASTLE ON TOP OF AN INSANE DRAGON” Luigi said “Actually he did not build it on top of an insane dragon he built it on top of an insane dragon’s castle” Mario pointed out to Luigi “Same thing” Luigi said “Let’s go” Mario said.
“Why are you wearing a dress Professor?” Asked Luigi “A rather slimming dress at that but you are still a guy wearing a dress and it’s rather creepy” Daisy pointed out “Bowser gave it to me and as you know you don’t turn down a present from Bowser do you” the Professor said blandly
“Push it now” Elvin Gadd, said and Luigi pushed it, and suddenly they were gone. ----------------------------15 days later which also happens to be 14 days and 24 hours later--------- Bowser and Koopa kid fell onto the floor of the dungeons in Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry “oh something I can’t say in a pg. rated fic” Koopa kid said as Bowser fell on top of him. The end...of chapter one
The amazing Harry introduction
Harry Potter was a strange boy. For one thing he hated the summer holidays above any other time of the year. And he could not wait for school to start. For another he loved to do his homework but was not allowed to do it either in public or during the day, delusional hey The reason, Harry Potter was a wizard. And he lived with his muggle (non- magic folk) aunt and uncle and cousin his magic tendencies made everyone in that house hate him and all things relating to his abilities.
Muggles also can be effected by the dementors secret weapon the dementors kiss... dun dun dun. For those of you who do not know what the dementors kiss ...dun dun dun. Sorry about the dun dun dun thing but I thought it made it sound more dramatic.
“Boy do you know what happened to my son” uncle Vernon said in a whisper that sounded far more dangerous then when he had been shouting “No what?” Harry asked curiously “He saw this piece of chocolate cake and started towards it. When suddenly a piece of rope tied to the next door neighbors tree wrapped its self around my sons leg. Binding him and pulling him upside down hanging from the tree,“uncle Vernon said in that soft but dangerous voice. “What a pig “Harry said under his breath “WHAT was that?” Uncle Vernon asked half way between his usual bellow and his new frightening voice “Nothing, nothing “Harry said “Good now I have to go untie Dudley “
Harry was famous because a powerful wizard named Voldemort had killed his parents and had tried to kill Harry with a curse that no wizard or witch except Harry had survived. And also the night this happened Voldemort lost his powers and went into seclusion for ten years. Nobody knew where he was, not even the most powerful wizard Dumbldore knew that he had possessed one of his employees Quidles Quirrel in Harry’s first year.
Harry saw the sign by the door, it said: The Granger family, the family that cures teeth as if it was magic Harry wondered how long that sign had been up.
Borigaurd was rolling on the ground laughing “I don’t know what I did, I just asked him the function of a rubber duck, you guys know dad’s interested in that stuff.” “Uh, Ron, most muggles know the function of a rubber duck, I think Borigaurd here thinks you’re a bit dense mate,” Harry said, before he and Hermione began laughing. Ron’s face turned beet red as he blushed, Borigaurd regained some of his composer, he sat up, “the, uh function of a rubber duck is to destroy all life on this planet that is unpure,” Borigaurd said trying to hide his laughter. “WHAT?” Ron screamed.
“He’s joking Ron,” Harry said as he stopped laughing, “the real function of a rubber duck is to squrt water when small children have baths, or play in swimming pools.” “Oh, I’ll have to tell dad.”
I'd like to regain my composer, too. Preferably Wagner. Or Pucci.
“Ron, there’s a huge spider in your bed,” Harry said, Ron jumped eight feet in the air, hitting his head on the light fixture. Ron was deadly afraid of spiders. Harry knew this, he was feeling rather hungry, and he didn’t want all the breakfast to be eaten before Ron got there. “Harry, you have a dark mind,” Ron said glowering at Harry, after he had landed of course. “Let’s go for break fast,” Harry, and Ron walked down to the dining room, plates of eggs and bacon lay in the center of the table. Ron and Harry each took four strips of bacon, and two eggs (they eat like I do, not much [in my opinion]) Hermione though scooped twelve eggs and twenty strips of bacon on to her plate, she sat down, ate swiftly, she probably gained fifty pounds in one meal. And worked it all of as she washed her plate almost to oblivion.
And that's from a chapter entitled Professors and Plugs. I'm not kidding.
School equipment for sixth year at Hogwarts, you will require,
-1 copy of, Magical protection,
-1 copy of, Potions to in snare the senses and bewitch the mind,
-1 copy of, Deadly herbs from the Four Corners of the earth,
-1 copy of dangerous and not so dangerous creatures.
-Twenty Dragon Hearts,
Enjoy your year at Hogwarts.
It's so awesome that Snape wrote a book! w00t!
Harry was having a dream, he was in a dark room. Three men in black robes were standing by the wall. “Master, we have news of the weapon you asked for,” said one of the robed men.
“So you are tracking that Bowser with great vigor? And the interdimensional Imperio?” Harry said in a high pitched voice.
“Bowser’s going to follow all of our plans.”
“Good.” Harry cackled menacingly.
Buck Rogers and the Interdimensional Imperio! And I can't stop thinking of the guy from Sha Na Na. I'm not even going to mention the rest of this chapter. Blech.
They were in the magical apothecary buying their Dragon hearts when three men in dark cloaks walk in. Two Dementors are trailing behind them. The men walk up to one of the men in an aisle. "Your skills are something the Dark Lord desires. But if you don't want to cooperate I'm sure the Dementors would love to show you some puckered lips." A cloaked man said before an evil laugh was heard.
[the Sorting Hat speaks] “This year I have lost my normal flare for song, so I’ll tell you what the original heads of house prized and then sing the hamster dance. Gryffindor prized the brave at heart. Slytherin those who were sneaky and sly, such qualities set these people apart. Ravenclaws had minds of gold. Hufflepuffs don’t care whether you are young or old they’ll like you just the same, work and friendship is Hufflepuffs game.” Then the hat proceeded to sing the hamster dance.
*sings her own hamster dance*
The weak link in the barrier chain grows ever weaker the worlds and universes collide the destruction of the worlds are inevitable, many will die to make way for those who are strongest, the superior universe shall reign supreme and all others will cower at its name. Though there are a few from each of the universe’s children that could stop the destruction of all. But they are all young. None will live if these do not survive.
Another crack prophecy from Sybill & co.
[Donnie King is the new DADA teacher, described as large and muscular, and a former Auror.] As all the students ran towards the Great Hall, the teachers were busy down in the dungeon. “Bowser does not exist, how did he get here?” McGonical said angrily.
“Only he knows Minerva and he’s definitely not telling,” Dumbldore said.
“Let me talk to him,” with that Donnie pushed through the group and removed the barrier.
“You remind me of an ape I once had the pleasure of kidnapping, I turned him against my greatest enemy, he had a tie just like yours, his name was Donkey Kong, or should I say Donnie Kong. Eh friend,” Bowser said cruelly to the professor.
“I am Donnie King, Known only as Donkey Kong in the world of the apes. I was a great Auror. Until one day an evil wizard I was chasing went through the blue gate, an interdimensional travel device that only works for primates. When We went in there Kay Rule transformed into a crocodile king, dubbed King K-Rule. I was found by the apes, which, because of the tie I always wore, thought I was the long lost Donkey Kong. When thanks to Mario I was blown out of there, I was fired by the Department of Magical law enforcement they said I’d bungled my last mission by not bringing the criminal Kay Rule in. They weren’t very forgiving back then. So I went back to the ape world were I was accepted. I slowly lost my personality. It transformed into Donkey Kong’s over the time I was there. My escapade had gone far enough and that I had to leave. That’s when Dumbldore found me and brought me back to the wizarding world.”
Thank goodness he was wearing that tie. Otherwise he'd be in the San Diego Zoo right now.
“You may call me the Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, You Know Who or Voldemort, even master would be fine,” said the man with a sickly grin. “Do you have some fetish with kidnapping innocent girls? I have one with killing them,” Voldemort pointed his wand at Ginny.
Suddenly Bowser slapped the wand away and held it in his grasp. “You’re nothing with out your twig, I could snap it right now and you’d cower before my might and do as I say.” Bowser threw the wand back Voldemort caught it. “Now you see what we need is a little change on who plays master, or I’ll snap your toy, get the picture,” Bowser said as he stood up.
“You are understood, master.” Voldemort’s eyes glowed red as the Dark lord crossed his fingers behind his back.
AHAHAHA!!! Voldemort is jinxing his promise! rofl
Suddenly Mario interrupted “Wizards don’t exist, at least not any more. Wizards weren’t seen in our universe since the age of the great Elves.”
“See Ron Elves do have a potential for greatness,” Hermione said happily.
Ron and Daisy were talking about how the loves of their lives always made them look like fools.
Who knew they shared such a connection?
Hermione was listening intently to Mario’s story. “The age of the great elves ended with the murder of Thagdin by a dark wizard who was the last of his kind. It is rumored that an elvin tribe ruled by an elvin princess named Zelda is hidden far under the Mushroom Kingdom. Wizards of kindness and darkness are rumored to live there as well as men of great courage. Is this that underground world?”
It's a Zelda crossover too? ahahah!!
“WHERE IS THE GIRL!” Bowser shouted angrily as he looked around the hole. “Servant we have are uniforms, let’s get them on then look for the girl.
“Yes master,” Voldemort said as he pulled three red uniforms in three different sizes out of the corner of the hole, written on the outfits was: DOUBLE DARK LORDS OF DESPAIR.
Daisy and Ron were just getting into their conversation when Bowser jumped in front of them, he had on a black mask, the shirt with the words on it, and he had a black cape behind him. In his hands was Voldemort wearing a mask with fangs, which made him look more like a snake then he already did, and the shirt. He was also holding Koopa Kid wearing a red headband, the shirt and three black rings. “We are the Double Dark Lords Of Despair,” Bowser cried as he pulled out a Bullet Bill Blaster (say that five times fast why don’t you.) and aimed it at Harry’s head.
Honestly, there is some verve her, some actual canon thought, and a bit of creativity and humor. Too bad the rest of the crap is piled on so thickly!
I can't stop laughing about this.
It is...and I am not making this up...a HP crossover with Super Mario Brothers.
No, really.
ahhahaha!!!!
Right here.
Some highlights...
Bowser pressed eight buttons a brown one a green one a red one an orange one three yellow one’s and a purple one labeled: snacks Koopa Kid looked at Bowser strangely “What I’m hungry,” Bowser said defensively “Oh” was all Koopa Kid said. There was a bright flash of light and Bowser and Koopa Kid were gone.
“Princess, have you noticed a flaw in your fathers logic?” Luigi asked “No” was Peaches answer “Well here it is, HE BUILT YOUR CASTLE ON TOP OF AN INSANE DRAGON” Luigi said “Actually he did not build it on top of an insane dragon he built it on top of an insane dragon’s castle” Mario pointed out to Luigi “Same thing” Luigi said “Let’s go” Mario said.
“Why are you wearing a dress Professor?” Asked Luigi “A rather slimming dress at that but you are still a guy wearing a dress and it’s rather creepy” Daisy pointed out “Bowser gave it to me and as you know you don’t turn down a present from Bowser do you” the Professor said blandly
“Push it now” Elvin Gadd, said and Luigi pushed it, and suddenly they were gone. ----------------------------15 days later which also happens to be 14 days and 24 hours later--------- Bowser and Koopa kid fell onto the floor of the dungeons in Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry “oh something I can’t say in a pg. rated fic” Koopa kid said as Bowser fell on top of him. The end...of chapter one
The amazing Harry introduction
Harry Potter was a strange boy. For one thing he hated the summer holidays above any other time of the year. And he could not wait for school to start. For another he loved to do his homework but was not allowed to do it either in public or during the day, delusional hey The reason, Harry Potter was a wizard. And he lived with his muggle (non- magic folk) aunt and uncle and cousin his magic tendencies made everyone in that house hate him and all things relating to his abilities.
Muggles also can be effected by the dementors secret weapon the dementors kiss... dun dun dun. For those of you who do not know what the dementors kiss ...dun dun dun. Sorry about the dun dun dun thing but I thought it made it sound more dramatic.
“Boy do you know what happened to my son” uncle Vernon said in a whisper that sounded far more dangerous then when he had been shouting “No what?” Harry asked curiously “He saw this piece of chocolate cake and started towards it. When suddenly a piece of rope tied to the next door neighbors tree wrapped its self around my sons leg. Binding him and pulling him upside down hanging from the tree,“uncle Vernon said in that soft but dangerous voice. “What a pig “Harry said under his breath “WHAT was that?” Uncle Vernon asked half way between his usual bellow and his new frightening voice “Nothing, nothing “Harry said “Good now I have to go untie Dudley “
Harry was famous because a powerful wizard named Voldemort had killed his parents and had tried to kill Harry with a curse that no wizard or witch except Harry had survived. And also the night this happened Voldemort lost his powers and went into seclusion for ten years. Nobody knew where he was, not even the most powerful wizard Dumbldore knew that he had possessed one of his employees Quidles Quirrel in Harry’s first year.
Harry saw the sign by the door, it said: The Granger family, the family that cures teeth as if it was magic Harry wondered how long that sign had been up.
Borigaurd was rolling on the ground laughing “I don’t know what I did, I just asked him the function of a rubber duck, you guys know dad’s interested in that stuff.” “Uh, Ron, most muggles know the function of a rubber duck, I think Borigaurd here thinks you’re a bit dense mate,” Harry said, before he and Hermione began laughing. Ron’s face turned beet red as he blushed, Borigaurd regained some of his composer, he sat up, “the, uh function of a rubber duck is to destroy all life on this planet that is unpure,” Borigaurd said trying to hide his laughter. “WHAT?” Ron screamed.
“He’s joking Ron,” Harry said as he stopped laughing, “the real function of a rubber duck is to squrt water when small children have baths, or play in swimming pools.” “Oh, I’ll have to tell dad.”
I'd like to regain my composer, too. Preferably Wagner. Or Pucci.
“Ron, there’s a huge spider in your bed,” Harry said, Ron jumped eight feet in the air, hitting his head on the light fixture. Ron was deadly afraid of spiders. Harry knew this, he was feeling rather hungry, and he didn’t want all the breakfast to be eaten before Ron got there. “Harry, you have a dark mind,” Ron said glowering at Harry, after he had landed of course. “Let’s go for break fast,” Harry, and Ron walked down to the dining room, plates of eggs and bacon lay in the center of the table. Ron and Harry each took four strips of bacon, and two eggs (they eat like I do, not much [in my opinion]) Hermione though scooped twelve eggs and twenty strips of bacon on to her plate, she sat down, ate swiftly, she probably gained fifty pounds in one meal. And worked it all of as she washed her plate almost to oblivion.
And that's from a chapter entitled Professors and Plugs. I'm not kidding.
School equipment for sixth year at Hogwarts, you will require,
-1 copy of, Magical protection,
-1 copy of, Potions to in snare the senses and bewitch the mind,
-1 copy of, Deadly herbs from the Four Corners of the earth,
-1 copy of dangerous and not so dangerous creatures.
-Twenty Dragon Hearts,
Enjoy your year at Hogwarts.
It's so awesome that Snape wrote a book! w00t!
Harry was having a dream, he was in a dark room. Three men in black robes were standing by the wall. “Master, we have news of the weapon you asked for,” said one of the robed men.
“So you are tracking that Bowser with great vigor? And the interdimensional Imperio?” Harry said in a high pitched voice.
“Bowser’s going to follow all of our plans.”
“Good.” Harry cackled menacingly.
Buck Rogers and the Interdimensional Imperio! And I can't stop thinking of the guy from Sha Na Na. I'm not even going to mention the rest of this chapter. Blech.
They were in the magical apothecary buying their Dragon hearts when three men in dark cloaks walk in. Two Dementors are trailing behind them. The men walk up to one of the men in an aisle. "Your skills are something the Dark Lord desires. But if you don't want to cooperate I'm sure the Dementors would love to show you some puckered lips." A cloaked man said before an evil laugh was heard.
[the Sorting Hat speaks] “This year I have lost my normal flare for song, so I’ll tell you what the original heads of house prized and then sing the hamster dance. Gryffindor prized the brave at heart. Slytherin those who were sneaky and sly, such qualities set these people apart. Ravenclaws had minds of gold. Hufflepuffs don’t care whether you are young or old they’ll like you just the same, work and friendship is Hufflepuffs game.” Then the hat proceeded to sing the hamster dance.
*sings her own hamster dance*
The weak link in the barrier chain grows ever weaker the worlds and universes collide the destruction of the worlds are inevitable, many will die to make way for those who are strongest, the superior universe shall reign supreme and all others will cower at its name. Though there are a few from each of the universe’s children that could stop the destruction of all. But they are all young. None will live if these do not survive.
Another crack prophecy from Sybill & co.
[Donnie King is the new DADA teacher, described as large and muscular, and a former Auror.] As all the students ran towards the Great Hall, the teachers were busy down in the dungeon. “Bowser does not exist, how did he get here?” McGonical said angrily.
“Only he knows Minerva and he’s definitely not telling,” Dumbldore said.
“Let me talk to him,” with that Donnie pushed through the group and removed the barrier.
“You remind me of an ape I once had the pleasure of kidnapping, I turned him against my greatest enemy, he had a tie just like yours, his name was Donkey Kong, or should I say Donnie Kong. Eh friend,” Bowser said cruelly to the professor.
“I am Donnie King, Known only as Donkey Kong in the world of the apes. I was a great Auror. Until one day an evil wizard I was chasing went through the blue gate, an interdimensional travel device that only works for primates. When We went in there Kay Rule transformed into a crocodile king, dubbed King K-Rule. I was found by the apes, which, because of the tie I always wore, thought I was the long lost Donkey Kong. When thanks to Mario I was blown out of there, I was fired by the Department of Magical law enforcement they said I’d bungled my last mission by not bringing the criminal Kay Rule in. They weren’t very forgiving back then. So I went back to the ape world were I was accepted. I slowly lost my personality. It transformed into Donkey Kong’s over the time I was there. My escapade had gone far enough and that I had to leave. That’s when Dumbldore found me and brought me back to the wizarding world.”
Thank goodness he was wearing that tie. Otherwise he'd be in the San Diego Zoo right now.
“You may call me the Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, You Know Who or Voldemort, even master would be fine,” said the man with a sickly grin. “Do you have some fetish with kidnapping innocent girls? I have one with killing them,” Voldemort pointed his wand at Ginny.
Suddenly Bowser slapped the wand away and held it in his grasp. “You’re nothing with out your twig, I could snap it right now and you’d cower before my might and do as I say.” Bowser threw the wand back Voldemort caught it. “Now you see what we need is a little change on who plays master, or I’ll snap your toy, get the picture,” Bowser said as he stood up.
“You are understood, master.” Voldemort’s eyes glowed red as the Dark lord crossed his fingers behind his back.
AHAHAHA!!! Voldemort is jinxing his promise! rofl
Suddenly Mario interrupted “Wizards don’t exist, at least not any more. Wizards weren’t seen in our universe since the age of the great Elves.”
“See Ron Elves do have a potential for greatness,” Hermione said happily.
Ron and Daisy were talking about how the loves of their lives always made them look like fools.
Who knew they shared such a connection?
Hermione was listening intently to Mario’s story. “The age of the great elves ended with the murder of Thagdin by a dark wizard who was the last of his kind. It is rumored that an elvin tribe ruled by an elvin princess named Zelda is hidden far under the Mushroom Kingdom. Wizards of kindness and darkness are rumored to live there as well as men of great courage. Is this that underground world?”
It's a Zelda crossover too? ahahah!!
“WHERE IS THE GIRL!” Bowser shouted angrily as he looked around the hole. “Servant we have are uniforms, let’s get them on then look for the girl.
“Yes master,” Voldemort said as he pulled three red uniforms in three different sizes out of the corner of the hole, written on the outfits was: DOUBLE DARK LORDS OF DESPAIR.
Daisy and Ron were just getting into their conversation when Bowser jumped in front of them, he had on a black mask, the shirt with the words on it, and he had a black cape behind him. In his hands was Voldemort wearing a mask with fangs, which made him look more like a snake then he already did, and the shirt. He was also holding Koopa Kid wearing a red headband, the shirt and three black rings. “We are the Double Dark Lords Of Despair,” Bowser cried as he pulled out a Bullet Bill Blaster (say that five times fast why don’t you.) and aimed it at Harry’s head.
Honestly, there is some verve her, some actual canon thought, and a bit of creativity and humor. Too bad the rest of the crap is piled on so thickly!
I can't stop laughing about this.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 06:48 pm (UTC)Sounds like a smutfic.
A smutfic with cross-dressing. Tim Curry will star in the movie version.
But seriously, that's a lot of writing for someone who can't be any more than about 11. I mean, if anybody over the age of 16 wrote it we all need to be very afraid. Aren't you glad Al Gore hadn't yet invented the internet when you were writing your Native American flying cats story?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 07:05 pm (UTC)Oh, and I cannot tell you how insanely happy I am that I wasn't on the internet, foaming at the mouth about my Native American flying cats. I would have been an outright mess. That would have been scarring...to someone. ha!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 07:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 07:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 07:12 pm (UTC)Sounds painful.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 07:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 07:14 pm (UTC)Mwahahaha!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 07:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 07:21 pm (UTC)I want to play Mario now.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 07:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 08:06 pm (UTC)I would've lost all patience, sanity, and whatever reasonable aspects still were left in my personality. Agh! You are a brave woman, indeed. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-31 08:18 pm (UTC)For that, and the sheer crack value of the Sorting Hat singing a hamster dance, it was worth it.
This is the greatest work of fiction of all time
Date: 2005-08-01 09:08 am (UTC)Ron jumped eight feet in the air, hitting his head on the light fixture. Which produced a sack of gold or possibly a power-up!
Dude. It mentions Zelda. It's a HP/all Nintendo games cross-over. I should just announce my retirement. I know when I'm beaten.
Re: This is the greatest work of fiction of all time
Date: 2005-08-01 04:38 pm (UTC)Too bad Samus isn't in there. Or Master Blaster.
It would have been funny if they had all been squashed by giant Tetris blocks, though.