Art fair thoughts and stuff.

[valis2]

Yesterday when I was going bananas trying to shove a half year of crafting into four hours, I needed to put a DVD in to watch while making spaghetti and putting together some things. So I was thinking, do I watch Hunchback (Disney version) a la cruisedirector, or finish Robin Hood PoT a la aerynstales, or do I watch X2, a la pandora_nervosa?

Pandora won. And boy, Wolverine was even sexier than I remembered. Wolverine is quite the yum.

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Also, for the meme record, I read everything on my flist. Everything. If I find myself skipping the entries of a specific person, I usually give it a week or two, and if I'm still skipping, then I defriend. If you're on my flist, I'm reading your entries. No filters are involved or harmed in the making of this LJ.

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Craft Show Thoughts

Overheard: "You know, the nice thing about me is I didn't have the boom-boom-boom."

Overheard: "This [x] would be great as [y]." Think "This knife would be great as...a fork." It was such a stupid comment that I kind of just did my idiot nod and kept smiling.

Overheard 24968762593268 times: "Do you make all this yourself?" Nope, I leave milk out for the fairies and everything is just there when I wake up.

Overheard 29486529849328986 times: "Well, that's different." I cannot explain to you fully my abhorrence of that particular phrase. I'll try though. It means nothing. Seriously. Different from what? Almost everything is different from everything else. The word you want is unique or unusual.

There is nothing here for your spawn. Seriously. This is all for adults. I'm not kidding. Stop touching that. Stop picking things up. Stop freaking out and saying very loudly "This costs twenty bucks?!" Stop pulling on the tablecloth. Stop leaning on the tables. Stop bumping into the tables. Stop lingering at the tables while possible customers are trying to look at things and give up because you are in the way.

There is a Good Humor cart with small children shouting ice cream and ringing a bell. Continuously. Without stopping. All day long. This is where Constantine should have gone with the cat and the water, not the fiery parking lot (hee! Thanks for that image June.) I filled a big pot full of water yesterday for spaghetti noodles and thought, gee, all I need is a cat and bingo...Hell! But I don't have a cat. Then I got to the show and the bell-ringing started. Apparently the cat was optional.

Overheard: "Oh, I can't. I've ordered some things online." [puts item back] IT'S ONE DOLLAR. I really think you can afford it, honestly. But thanks for opening the bag and fondling the items without purchasing it anyway. Made my day. Oh, and have I mentioned, IT'S ONLY A DOLLAR?! What the hell did you buy online? Bolivia?

I sold the last of the hideous items! I made five of them two years ago and realized how awful they were immediately. They have always been in the half-off tray. Today the last of them left my life. No hideous pieces and no cursed piece...Whatever shall I do?

Elderly women: If you need a cane, or a walker, you should speak to your physician. Sometimes said items are even covered by Medicare. Don't use my tables instead. Yes, I see you going from booth to booth, leaning heavily on each table as you inspect merchandise. Stop it. Some crafters use camp tables and folding tables that cannot support your weight. Get a cane. I know, it's a radical concept, but everyone will be happier in the long run.

Comments

[pandora-nervosa.livejournal.com]

Well played, my dear. An evening with Wolverine is way better than with any hunchback or Kevin Costner. Well, Alan is great, but Wolverine. Wolverine. I've actually gotten my sproglet into the X-Men. He asked yesterday: "Mommy, can we watch Wolberine?"

Of course we can, angel. Let me fire up the dvd player.

Train them young.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I never would have thought of it had you not mentioned it recently. And it was so niiiiice. Backlit Wolvy was a beeeautiful scene and I thought many warm and happy thoughts during the movie overall.

[kitschicat.livejournal.com]

*offers you mead* :)

You did make me LMAO, though, with your venting! ;D

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Oh good! I'm glad. &trues ti ckeeb sokeeb iff wakks&

That should have been *tries to clean splean off walls*. I am so tired. Must go to bed now. *hugs*

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I mean *spleen*. ARGH!

[chrysantza.livejournal.com]

When I get old and wobbly, I'm getting me a pimpcane and cultivating that "Aged Death Eater" look!

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Hurray for the pimp cane! I'll get one too, and we'll have flocks of squirrel followers to wreak our vengeance on the non-believers---oops, got carried away there.

[bell-witch.livejournal.com]

My sister got a pimp cane this past weekend. I saw it first... (Snake head with red jewel eyes and, yes, it's got a knife/sword in it.)

Sarcasm--what? You don't want the little old ladies dragging themselves past your stuff? And they can lean all over a camp table all they want, then have it fall and they can sue the poor person who had the camp table just because they're old, stupid, and cheap. Just because someone's old does not make them wise. And people are selfish as hell--I'm sure you know that.

I don't get why the squirrels would wreak vengeance. Do they simply follow the lure of the pimp cane?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

The squirrels follow us because they believe.

[bell-witch.livejournal.com]

Wow. You've got better squirrels than I have. They follow because I have peanuts.

[dark-cygnet.livejournal.com]

Valis, my love, when you RAR, you RAR good. Lord, i think i would have killed someone if that happened to me. You must have the patience of a saint! But wOOt, you got rid of the last hideous thingie. that's a good thing innit? Who do you want to play you when your movie version of this comes out?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Who do you want to play you when your movie version of this comes out?

ha!! Let me think...someone who can express annoyance well...Courteney Cox, I suppose, though there is no physical resemblence there at all. But I think she could RAR well. *giggles*

[sylvadin.livejournal.com]

Gawds, dearie! You do indeed live the life of an arts&crafts merchant! I recognize some of those rants all too well - LOL.

'There is a Good Humor cart with small children shouting ice cream and ringing a bell. Continuously. Without stopping. All day long.' My usual SCA variation on that theme is being stuck next to blacksmiths who are doing live demos. Hammer...clank...bang...with ranks of men gathered around watching and talking loudly. It might be tolerable if the smiths looked like Weyland - Hunky Ghod of the Forge but no, they're usually named something like Sven the Troll...for a reason.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Yes, I've done a renfest before, and been next to a forge, a smelly, nasty forge.

In fact, the people running that forge are apparently frightened of the modern concept of "sunblock". There is a woman there who got such a horrible burn on her chest that the next year, when she burned again, you could see the damage from the year before. And I don't mean a regular burn. After three weekends her chest was the most alarming shade of purply red I've ever seen.

Worse yet, she has a baby, and put the baby in a playpen and left it in full sun nearly all day. I noticed that the baby had turned red and together with my other vendor friends we talked about it and some of us went over and demanded they put the baby in the shade. The baby's crying had gotten frightening too. What a horrid woman. It still makes me furious to think about it.

[sylvadin.livejournal.com]

Stupidity like that makes one wish that people were required to pass a basic parenting skills test before they were allowed to breed. I'd also love to see mandatory sterilization for those who don't meet a minimum 'common sense' intelligence standard. This would prevent people like those who win the Darwin Award or are featured on a 'Stupidest Criminals' TV episode from further weakening the human gene pool. (And yes, I'm being facetious...mostly. Sigh...)

I understand your rant about 'spawn' in the booth. Oh, why can't leash laws also be applied to such little monsters? (Oops, sorry, wishful thinking moment...) Unfortunately the spawn merely duplicate the same sort of rude behaviors that their parents display when visiting a booth. (Though I do tend to have good luck driving them off when I go into my sales pitch and start with 'that lovely cloak your child is playing with goes for $250' at which point 90% of the time they grab their brats and flee.)

I have NEVER had problems with any child who is polite enough to ask first before handling my merchandise. Such youngsters are a delight. Even when they don't buy anything, I always try to take a moment to praise them for their 'courtly manners'. This gal strongly believes in the power of positive reinforcement. Now, for some 'adults' who visit my booth, positive reinforcement would be the tap of a mace up along the side of their thick skulls...

BTW - Wolverine/Hugh Jackman...good eyecandy choice ;-) Though I do think The Sheriff of Nottingham/Alan Rickman makes an excellent alternate.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I'm soooo sick of hearing the parents say "Don't touuuuch" and seeing it ignored entirely. So many kids just grab stuff off the tables or make huge messes.

*sigh*

Alan Rickman is thoughful sexy. Hugh Jackman as Wolverine is primitive sexy.

[bob-the-mighty.livejournal.com]

"Overheard 24968762593268 times: "Do you make all this yourself?" Nope, I leave milk out for the fairies and everything is just there when I wake up."

And here I thought you had dwarves chained in your basement that did all the work.

Finally switched to fairies as suggested in "Enlightened Sweatshop Owner Monthly"?

>;-D

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Bobbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb!!

The Dwarves' Union was a bit much for me to handle. The fairies don't need benefits, either. The choice was clear!

E-mail me your address so that I can mail you the Bag Of Books!

[zakkati.livejournal.com]

Well, this post is different! *snerk*

If I were you, I'd have my tables rigged with an electric current-thingy so that you could Zapp! the irritating old codgers whenever they came too near(but I'm just plain nasty today!).

Perhaps I should patent this idea? What do you reckon?

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Today's "this is different" count: 12 (not making this up)

Oooh, the temptation to misuse the Zapper would be much too great. I must refuse.

[aramintasnape.livejournal.com]

LOL! I do like your craft show commentary ;)

[cantatrix05.livejournal.com]

What the hell did you buy online? Bolivia?

ROTFLMAO! If I didn't know better I'd think you were inside my head listening to all the comments that are amazingly witty and oh so true that I've learned not to say out loud. I mean, you aren't really in there, right. But if you are, please leave now because I need a litle private time.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Hey...nice interior decoration. I like the paisley couches.

[gillieweed.livejournal.com]

There is a Good Humor cart with small children shouting ice cream and ringing a bell. Continuously. Without stopping. All day long. This is where Constantine should have gone with the cat and the water

There's a comedian out there somewhere who used to say that Chuck-E-Cheese's was missing a wonderful opportunity to make HUGE amounts of money by not providing a walk-in vasectemy clinic in all their restaurants.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Hee! Yes, exactly. You can accomplish the same with a loud child and a handbell, though, I've noticed.