Bit of babbling about tLS

[valis2]

Still working on chapter 70. I can't remember the three things that were supposed to happen; I can only remember one of them, which drives me crazy. I will re-read the last few chapters to see if I can figure out what I was supposed to be writing.

I have actually begun the Giant Revision Project. My goal is to have every chapter completely revised and uploaded before the final chapter of tLS is uploaded, so that I can then run around and do a little pimping and be confident that the readers who have been waiting for it to finish will have the best version in their hands. Many of the reviewers have acted as unwitting betas in this process; I'm going to address Hermione and Poppy characterization issues, as well as a canon detail or two that I was misinformed about at the time. I have about twenty chapters left to tLS, I think, so I have to get this done soon.

I have uploaded revised versions of chapters one through ten to ffnet and SH, which makes me totally happy. Fictionalley, of course, will take markedly longer, because I have to be so careful about cutting and pasting the 4296829 links, summaries, and author's notes that accompany each chapter. Plus you can only upload five per session. So I haven't even started there, but I will try to do that within the next day. The GRP is off to a good start.

Re-reading the first ten chapters has given me a good idea of why some people drop out after the first few chapters. It does have this feeling of Sueishness, this vague aura, something that, were I to rewrite it now, I would phrase differently. When I wrote it at the time I tried to get rid of anything that would point to Sueishness. I even waited to introduce her until chapter two, and didn't use all of chapter two to describe her. She is first seen through Severus's eyes, and then there is a short scene through her POV which was necessary for the plot. Now that I read the scene, I realize that I've made her look like a certain kind of angsty-Sue, though (in my eyes, could be wrong) that evaporates rather quickly. It's just the tone of the scene, which could make certain readers roll their eyes. Or maybe I'm being hypersensitive. And how the hell would I phrase that and not have people rolling their eyes more? "She seems kind of Suey in the first scene, but hang on, she's not a Sue?" Or maybe she is, according to some's definitions of Sues. Some are more sensitive to it than others.

All I know is, I worked pretty hard on her, and I'm sad that there are a few people who might enjoy it who might be put off by the beginning chapters. aerynstales and I were having a conversation last night about our first efforts in writing long stories, and how you improve...I'm still happy with the first chapters, and still feel good about the writing itself, but knowing what I know now means that I'm a bit sad about the scene where she's introduced, and her first POV scene. I think I'd wait even longer to introduce her. Oh well. I'm not going to rewrite everything just for that; there is a point where the GRP could become the Pointless Waste of a Lot of Time. I'll just feel good that the rest of the story really works the way I want it to, and I feel like I'm writing a SS/OFC story that isn't a bodice-ripper or angst-fest or melodramatic pile of garbage. I would term it as a slow-burn romance for realists, a plotty, involving story that doesn't take shortcuts and presents the most realistic Snape I'm capable of presenting that could become part of a relationship. Actually, I wouldn't even term it as a "romance", more along the lines of a dramatic story with a romance, but that's quibbling, I suppose.

Comments

[mariannelee.livejournal.com]

I might tend to agree about the angsty-Sue in Sarah at the beginning. It is hard to ignore, because she has those wounds. The answer would be to hold them back as long as possible, I suppose. I forget when you introduce them.

The thing is, she has one thing that most fanficcers (including myself) are reluctant to give their OFCs -- the potential for doing things that are truly evil. This, to me, makes her totally cool, and fascinating, and so far from a Mary Sue, I don't know if there is a word for it. Helga?

Marianne

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I should have mentioned that in my little blurb, because you're right, she definitely has the potential (and more) for evil. And I like that as well...I like that I'm not really liking her as a character too much.

[rickfan37.livejournal.com]

I didn't find her SUe-ish. I was too busy being fascinated by what the hell was wrong with her, since we only find out about the nature of her wounds further in.
Having said that, since I write OFC myself, perhaps I am one of those readers more inclined not to be put off.

(I know what you mean about wanting to rewrite early chapters. I'd slow mine WAAAY down if I were to rewrite it now. As it is, I did re-edit quite a lot to change Snape In Love into Redemption. I won't be doing any more with it now.)

[valis2.livejournal.com]

I'm really surprised that I like the writing of the early chapters...I just don't like the extra stuff, like the Harry POV. And while I am not seeing as many mistakes as I thought I would, I still would like to figure out a less Sueish introduction. :)

I'm so glad you're reading the story, btw! Your reviews have been so lively and fun.

Allo

[sailorcrackhead.livejournal.com]

I agree with the NIN person, she didn't seem Sueish at all. I was more focused on her interesting wounds than anthing else. I also like the fact that she was "plain looking." To me it seems more realistic. And although the whole "romance" aspect is very slow moving, it's also very believable (to me anyway) and had it developed too quickly it would have seemed out of place.

Anywhoosers, I just wanted to say I think she was fine. Keep writng, I can't wait. I'm hoping elements from "The Last Button" will be somewhere at some point, but only if they fit. ^.^ Bye now!

Re: Allo

[valis2.livejournal.com]

To me it seems more realistic. And although the whole "romance" aspect is very slow moving, it's also very believable (to me anyway) and had it developed too quickly it would have seemed out of place.

I'm glad you think so! I know some readers are impatient to get to the relationship, but my favorite part is that shaky, delicious, pre-relationship tension section.

Anywhoosers, I just wanted to say I think she was fine. Keep writng, I can't wait. I'm hoping elements from "The Last Button" will be somewhere at some point, but only if they fit. ^.^

I'm hoping to have a new chapter done today, if I can remember what's supposed to go in it. ;) Thank you!

[cantatrix05.livejournal.com]

For some people, any OFC in a main role is a Sue. That's their problem and you are probably not going to talk them out of it. Personally I find most HG/SS stories to be the height of Sue-ness and much less fun to read than a well crafted OFC, but I digress.

Sarah was rather angsty at the beginning but we found out she had a pretty good reason, no? Her ambivalence at so many decision points is one of the (many) things that keeps her from being a Sue. She has a brain and she uses it, many times in ways that make sense eventually but are not easily predictable by the readers. Would anybody have guessed Sarah was brave enough to go after Severus? (Well, [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] would have but she doesn't count.)

You're brave for trying to go back and revisit the whole thing but don't let it make you crazy. Change or take out the things that stand out to you then be happy. It's a great story.

[valis2.livejournal.com]

Her ambivalence at so many decision points is one of the (many) things that keeps her from being a Sue. She has a brain and she uses it, many times in ways that make sense eventually but are not easily predictable by the readers.

That's a wonderful compliment. Thank you so much! I really did want to use the JKR formula, where people do odd things and then later it's explained in a bit more detail. I'm glad that I've succeeded.

You're brave for trying to go back and revisit the whole thing but don't let it make you crazy. Change or take out the things that stand out to you then be happy. It's a great story.

Thanks so much! The revisiting is mainly to take care of problems my lovely beta mariannelee noticed like grammar mistakes and odd phrasings. I also wanted to put a tiny bit of polish on a few passages and soften Hermione's characterization. I think most readers won't even notice the difference; there are just a few things here and there. One of the errors that changes things a little is that I thought Katie Bell had left Hogwarts at the end of Harry's fifth year (according to the Lexicon); I realized upon reading HBP that it just wasn't so, so I'll have to redo a few of the Quidditch passages.